Helping Hand
by Daianta
Summary: Cas is in love with Dean while the hunter is unaware. So Gabriel steps in to help Dean realise his feelings for the angel. In a typical Gabriel way. Destiel, Sabriel.
1. Wavelength

**Helping Hand**

**- Daianta**

I do not own Supernatural. If I did, then things would be different. A LOT different. Alas, because I don't, things have turned out the way they have. :)

_All will be explained, trust me. This is after series 5 but before series 6, because I'm English and I have been watching it as it unfolds in England. I'm aware that we are heavily behind schedule with the latest series, but by GOD, it is so annoying. __**There is a Season 6 spoiler**__, but it can be read in this fic as a fictional thing. I'm not going to say what it is, since this thing is a WORK OF FICTION and must be interpreted so. However, since we all seem to be closer to understanding the truth here in Britain, I don't know... Read how you will._

_There are brief, flashing mentions of Bobby/Crowley. I'm not sure how I feel about this pairing, so I just left it as speculation. But straight off the bat is Sabriel, because I'm awesome like that._

_Wow, long introduction is long. _

_Anyways, because she'll kill me otherwise, this is dedicated to my converted Destiel friend Lozi; my bestie in real life. Known as _Allthingsanime123_ or _AHiddenShadow_, depending on what site you are looking on._

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><p><strong>Chapter One - Wavelength<strong>

_Word Count: 1,850_

Soft moonlight filtered through the half-open windows of a hotel room, fluttering in and out of existence due to the presence of almost see-through curtains. It was strangely voyeuristic. The room was large and open, a gigantic bed situated in the designated bedroom area. There was an en-suite bathroom parallel to the bed, a sofa and a few armchairs in the area agreed to be the 'living room.'

There was a black suit jacket slung over the back of the cream sofa; a bag dropped hazardously on the floor next to the chair. The strap looked as if it had been dragged along with a foot before being deposited, and a tie trickled along the floor after it, leading a trail to the bed. The silken sheets were rumpled, thrown into disarray. One side had fallen onto the floor, a result of a furious bout of lovemaking.

Twisted together, almost like a mangled wreckage of a car, were two men, breathing stilling slowly as they succumbed to sleep. One was tall, considered freakishly so, while the other was shorter, perhaps a bit shorter than the average man. He looked like a freaking girl from behind sometimes. Well, with the exception that he didn't have a girl's ass, or breasts.

He pressed kisses into the taller man's skin, earning a groan from him.

"You gotta stop that, Gabriel. I have to sleep, you know?"

The Angel merely purred into Sam's shoulder, and mumbled against him, "I missed you Sam. It was so boring without you."

Sam huffed, and craned his head to look at the Archangel darkly, but there was humour in his eyes.

"You know, I had a hard time getting time off to see you, but all I want to do now is sleep. You _tire_ me out, Gabriel."

The Angel let out a snicker and snuggled closer to the human.

After the Apocalypse had been diverted, life had been... Peaceful. Almost unnervingly so. It didn't worry Gabriel as much as it annoyed him. He was used to chaos, to difficult situations. To finally be at peace was strange.

He had lost Sam, he thought, wordlessly catching eyes with him.

When Sam/Lucifer had been thrown into the Pit, they had taken Michael with them. It left Raphael by himself; the only Archangel left out of four. But his Father had brought Gabriel back, along with Castiel. It was the angel of Thursday who had brought Sam out of the pit, a few months after he had been placed in there. But in that space of time, Sam had trapped as many souls in Hell as possible, inevitably preventing their escape. Death had, surprisingly, helped them to bring back Sam's soul, and had altered his memories slightly to better bear the scars from hell.

"_Don't mess with Death. I helped you out, now get out of my hair."_

Gabriel was miffed that it was not he who had released Sam from his imprisonment in Hell, but he had silently thanked Castiel for it. Away from the Winchester brothers, anyway. Gabriel cared for Sam, and Castiel had picked up on it, better equipped with human emotions now.

But that was months ago, almost a year. Life had returned to a decent normality, or as normal as a group of hunters and Angels could get. Sam had taken a job as a lawyer's understudy, while Dean had become a mechanic, to bring in the extra cash.

They had decided to stay out of Lawrence, and chose to remain in the same town as Bobby, although they stayed away from the house. Gabriel sometimes forgot about the ex-hunter. He had been at the Apocalypse too, and had been killed and later revived when Cas was brought back.

Although, curiously, he preferred his solitude now, and the brothers only saw him when it was an emergency. Gabriel didn't understand why, and even though he was like that, he was not going to read Bobby's mind. No sir, that was out of the question. Especially since Gabriel _knew_ Crowley still saw Bobby from time to time. He knew that Castiel knew as well, although it was an unspoken secret.

So life had moved on. Gabriel and Sam had gotten together, Dean was getting used to not having to hunt all the time and Castiel was becoming more human, although unsure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

But wow; Sam and Gabriel. Sam ruffled a hand through Gabriel's hair, and he sighed in contentment. The few months immediately after were hard for everyone; Sam suffered traumatic nightmares at night, and restlessness during the day. When Death had modified the Hellish memories things had calmed down, and began to focus on normality. Gabriel showed him new things; events of the past and present, places that had been torn down restored to their former glory for just one evening. Sam, ever the researcher, had taken quiet fascination in the restored ruins, and he and Gabriel had grown close.

It was while they were hidden in the Hanging gardens of Babylon that Sam had truly realised how much he liked the Archangel. His face was sharpened with shadows, mottled light marring the rest of him, almost dappled under the huge trees that grew in a relatively harsh climate.

As for Gabriel, well... Gabe had fallen the moment he locked eyes on Sam when they fought as equals; alongside each other for once. He had been, for a simpler term, hooked.

Sam didn't know how to react to this new information, so Gabriel had done the work, leaning forwards first, lips meeting lips tentatively, almost afraid, before fitting together in a way that made Gabriel's toes curl and to reinforce the old adage, 'feeling like heaven.' Of course, they didn't do the _dirty_ in the Hanging Gardens, no, that place was sacred to the King Nebuchadnezzar II and his wife Amytis. Instead, they had done the mature thing and allow their relationship to develop slowly, taking time. After all, it was not everyday that a previously straight man fell in love with another man. And an Archangel, no less. Romance was strange; and often painful.

But they sat there, on the day of their first kiss, enveloped under a canopy of bright trees and flowers, columns of water raining down from a building that had encompassed a body of water in the way only the Babylonians had accomplished. Flowers that no longer existed hid them from prying eyes, as they grew to know each other's mouths intimately.

Even so, the Researcher Sam found the real hanging Gardens a lot better looking than the artist's interpretations that so humorously filled books and the internet. Gabriel had slapped his arm and told him to stop thinking.

And here they were now. Their relationship was still technically classed as new, even though they had been dating for four, five months. Still in the honeymoon stage, Dean had smirked, before walking away to grab a beer.

Gabriel let out a minute scowl into Sam's neck. Dean still hadn't made a move on Castiel, and that was almost unacceptable. Castiel had given up everything he had to help Dean, and the stupid hunter-mechanic was completely oblivious to it. Okay, so perhaps he wasn't stupid, but Gabriel knew that Dean's speciality was running away from commitment.

Yeah, that was harsh, but the Angel didn't care. It hurt him to see Castiel's poker face when Dean bragged about another girl he slept with, or when he brushed off Cas' subtle advances.

Gabriel rolled over, so he was on his back, "Sam, can I ask you something?"

He kept his eyes fixed on the ceiling, hands clasping at each other over his naked chest. The sheet was pulled to cover the remainder of his nudity and he didn't understand why, so he merely ignored it.

Sam twisted so he was on his side, head propped up with an arm bent at the elbow. He may have been tired, but the younger Winchester always seemed concerned with Gabriel's problems. Usually, they were about sugar, but at two in the morning, it must have been something important.

"Shoot, Gabriel. I'll try to help,"

"What do you think of Dean and Castiel?"

Sam looked perplexed for a moment, then swallowed noisily, "What do you mean? They're both nice people, they care for others..."

"No," Gabriel interrupted, unfolding hands to press one onto Sam's shoulder, "As a couple. C'mon, Sammy, can't you see they're both dying to just go at each other like rabbits?"

Sam smirked, tried hard to remove it but failed, and left it plastered to his face.

"Now that you mention it like that, Gabriel..." He replied humorously, shaking his head.

"Seriously, I don't know what to think. They've had long enough to decide if they want something. If nothing's happened, then we can't force it."

"Of course we can! What's the point of me being the Trickster if I can't have a little fun?"

He wriggled eyebrows suggestively in Sam's direction, and his Poker Face came out to play, a little too quickly for Gabriel's liking.

"Don't start messing with their lives, Gabriel. Let it happen slow and steady. You can't force people to love, you know?"

He touched fingertips along the lines of Gabriel's face, over his eyes and down his long eyelashes. The angel sighed at the touch and moved, so he was straddling the human, pulling the silken sheets from them to reveal pale skin kissed by moonlight.

"I won't do anything, Sammy. I'll just let them peek at what it would be like to be together."

Sam sighed, but was cut off from speaking by devilish lips at the pulse-point of his neck.

"Besides, it's not like it's mentally damaging. It will be an imaginary world; an alternate dimension. I will let no harm befall Dean and Castiel."

Sam opened his mouth to speak, yet again cut off by fingers brushing his lips oh-so-gently. He found the touch soothing, and left his mouth half open to allow for this sort of teasing.

"You see, Sam?" Gabriel hummed, pressing a trail of kisses along his companion's collarbone, "I knew you wouldn't object."

Sam let himself remain quiet; knowing that this would be the best option for them besides locking them in a cupboard and seeing the results. Besides, he rather enjoyed the Trickster side of Gabriel.

He knew that Dean and Castiel would have to get a move on with their relationship one way or another; they had been sneaking glances at each other for far too long. The tall hunter wondered briefly if anything had happened, but everyone had been too stupid to see it.

No, Castiel would have informed Sam by default through Gabriel, and Dean was too open with emotions to symbolise an existing relationship. Still, Sam thought, even as Gabriel kissed and licked lower down his body, Dean _was_ awfully protective of Castiel. It had to mean something, right?

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><p><em>So, chapter One's finished. Like it? Hate it? Haa, I'd love for people to have hatred for it already, considering it's only just started. I don't expect this to have too many chapters, to be honest. I was just writing when I wrote this. Flexing my literary muscles, so to speak.<em>

_Viszlát__!_

_Daianta_


	2. Out of Touch

**Helping Hand**

**- ****Daianta**

I do not own Supernatural. Otherwise Gabriel would still be alive, and Dean and Cas would be a bloody item by now.

_I got this idea after watching Season 2, episode 20, when the Djinn shows Dean what could have been. I imagined it for Destiel, and this is the result._

_I just want to thank everyone for their kind reviews and story faves/alerts! It means a lot to me, so thank you. Thanks to Lozi, too, for checking this over to ensure it's okay.  
>I've had a really bad time lately; my university's been kicking me in the shins over payment methods and such, so I'm so stressed out. It's my birthday on September 5th, though, so hopefully it will be a good time. I'm gonna be OLD. Lol xD<em>

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><p><strong>Chapter Two – Out of Touch<strong>

_Word Count: 3,310_

Dean opened his green eyes to darkness. He expected it to be lighter, somehow. He felt like he had been asleep forever and a day, and he expected his hands to hurt where he had attacked the engine of a car the previous day. Instead, there was nothing. Dean blinked a few times, allowing his eyes to adjust to the inauspicious darkness, before slipping out of the bed he was in. He hesitated once on his feet, however, eyes flickering backwards and forwards from object to object. This was not his room.

Granted, he didn't spend much time in his apartment, but he knew when something was out of place. This was all wrong. Dean suppressed a shudder, feeling the hunter's instinct take over. He tiptoed quietly to the door and opened in, glaring at the handle when it squeaked. Inside was an en-suite, and his eyebrows moved towards his hairline. At his place, he didn't have an en-suite bathroom. He closed the door a fraction before pausing, taking note of his appearance in the big bathroom mirror. There were lights inside the small room, illuminating the clean surfaces of the shower's walls, the gleaming sink surface. Little bottles littered a counter underneath the mirror, shadows blending into the darkness.

Dean's face was pale, unnaturally so, and he calmed a bit. If he was a captive, then by law someone would have come in to talk to him by now.

He was shirtless; a common occurrence for him. But he wasn't wearing pants either, which meant he was naked.

Eager to rectify that, he moved along the edge of the room, until he reached a wardrobe. He pulled on the handle and peered inside, using calloused hands to feel for underwear. He pulled out a pair of boxers, surprisingly, that fit him and he put them on, hoping that that was enough for the time being. He would search for clothes when he knew where he was.

He made for the door when something stirred on the bed. Dean froze suddenly, unsure of what to do. He didn't remember drinking last night, or bringing home a girl, but this wasn't his place, so it must be hers. Why would men's underwear be in her wardrobe?

Dean was beyond confused, and approached the bed, gently placing his feet down to avoid disturbing anything that may cause loud noises.

The movement stopped as Dean did, and he looked over the sleeping figure, back now to him.

It was pale, unmarred skin, stretching over taut muscles in her back. Thin, willowy arms stretched up to hug the pillow the figure was sleeping on, and a short crop of hair fanned on the pillow itself. Dean found himself wanting to run a hand down the expanse of exposed skin, but stopped himself. If this was a woman he had randomly slept with, he did not want to necessitate unnecessary contact. He had done this a thousand times before; go in, sleep with the woman, wake up and leave before she got up. He was callous, he knew; but he didn't know why he did it. Or why he couldn't stop himself.

More than anything, Dean felt ashamed for what he did. He had seen the unforgiving looks Castiel had sent his way more than once, and it made Dean feel two inches tall. He thought of calling for Cas, but a glance at the time told him not to. It was four in the morning, after the witching hour at least, and most people would be asleep. Even Castiel, the angel. It wasn't that he didn't sleep, he had no need for it. But he had humanised himself, almost, after the Apocalypse, and had learnt how to sleep, about eating and other things humans took advantage of.

So he didn't call Cas, but still remained with his eyes fixed on the sleeping woman in the bed. She had short hair that looked black in the darkness, gentle looking skin. There was a hickey on the back of her neck, one that Dean probably did, coupled with a few faded scratchmarks. He still didn't remember sleeping with anyone.

Last night, Dean had finished at the garage late. His boss had paid him for the overtime, and told him to go home, grab a beer and watch a game or something. So Dean had done that. Not visited a bar at all. So how in all of Hell did he end up in the bedroom of another woman?

Dean left the sleeping woman and made for the landing, where a stairway greeted him. He made his way downstairs, placing a hand on the railing like it was the only thing keeping him anchored to the world. Where was he? This was too weird... Had he been possessed? It didn't seem likely, the lack of damage to the surrounding areas of the house proved that, as well as his nudity and the woman asleep. There was also the anti-possession charm around his neck, although he ignored it for now.

He would have preferred the possession to the unknown situation he had found himself in.

Dean found himself in the hallway, bare feet achingly cold on the tiled floor. They were slate grey, unchipped but worn from the feet that regularly stepped over it. He wondered if he had pulled a rich woman, then snickered at the thought. It would be his fortune, no pun intended, to pull someone with money.

This definitely wasn't his house, or anyone's house he knew, and he ventured into the heart of the place, through the wooden door that seemed to vibrate, sending him closer to what felt like an impending doom. Instead, the door swung to reveal a living room, a large, cavernous place that curiously felt big enough to house an Archangel's wings. Dean shook the thought from his head, along with all thoughts of sprinting out the front door and running away. He didn't know where he was; he was only in boxer shorts, and he had no idea where the Impala was parked.

The room was decorated in neutral tones, very generic and specified nothing about gender, or the occupants. There was an L-shaped leather sofa, cream in colour, behind the door. Opposite that was a TV, situated in front of a bay window that had shut blinds. The hunter found himself staring at the electronic device in awe and jealousy. It was H-U-G-E. He ran a hand across the top of it, stepping into the room further. It wasn't dusty, as expected from a woman, but there were tiny smudge marks on the screen, evidence that it was used. He prayed to God, son of a bitch that he was, that the unknown woman did not have children.

He dropped the hand to stare down the other end of the living room. There was a dining table; a glass topped affair resting on a sturdy, wrought metal frame. He approached it, running fingertips across the glass' surface, before staring at the symbols inscribed into the cold metal. His blood ran cold, too. It was carved with evident Enochian words, and it sent his brain into overdrive.

Was he in a house occupied by a hunter? A cursory glance at the wall next to the dining table proved that, swords hung from the wall in brackets, polished and clean. There were still bloodstains from a hunt on some, and Dean knew that these were recently used.

Ignoring them for a moment, Dean gave a glance through the archway that led to the kitchen. It was reasonably sized, generic, clean. There was probably a lot of food in the cupboards but he ignored that, and stepped back out, turning on the spot to stare at the swords again. Running a hand over his face, Dean merely observed them, as if trying to figure out who owned them from the swords alone. That in itself was impossible, but he was a desperate man.

Suddenly eager to get out of the house, he headed back through the living room and entered the hallway, tiptoeing up the stairs. He was hyper-aware of the fact that there was a hunter in the house, sleeping, and the possibility of children. That was never a good mix.

He looked for his clothes in the darkened doorway of the master bedroom, where he had woken up. He couldn't find anything, and he didn't remember clothes being by his feet when he got up. A check on the woman indicated she was still sleeping in the same position she had moved to earlier, quite possibly three minutes ago. It felt a lifetime when confused like Dean felt now.

He growled, running a hand through his hair and tugging on the short strands, turning on the spot to stare at the rest of the landing space. There were two doors that immediately jumped out at him and he stepped over to open the first slowly, revealing a bathroom. He closed it again and tried the second, realising that this was probably a bedroom, probably with a sleeping child in it.

The light was on, and Dean's heart thundered in his chest again, feeling very awkward in case he was asked for his reasoning as to why he was invading people's bedrooms. This looked more like an office and Dean relaxed, stepping onto creaky floorboards as he entered the room and shut the door behind him.

Two tables were situated in the centre of the room, a computer set up in case it was needed. Books and papers were scattered across the tables, a map almost inconspicuous underneath it. Bookcases lined the walls, heavy novella poking out to greet him. The room smelled of an old library, and he realised that he actually was in a hunter's house. This part reminded him of Bobby, he grinned, moving to touch the spine of the book closest in the bookcase. Ironically, it was the bible, and next to that was Angel lore. He grinned again, wider when he thought of Castiel. The Angel had always said there was a lot more to angels than books made out, and half the information in them was not correct.

Then, there was a bookcase dedicated to creatures of the night; demons and vampires and werewolves and other beings. Glances at the other cases informed Dean that there was information on supernatural creatures from other countries, and generic books in the last bookcase.

There was a window that had not been closed over with a blind and Dean took the chance to look outside for the first time since he had woken up. It looked like suburbia, and Dean was almost disappointed. He recognised the place, however sluggishly his brain now wanted to work. He was in Sioux Falls. So he hadn't gone far then. But he didn't fully recognise the street; that would have to wait until he found his pesky clothes and managed to slip outside. He turned off the light as he stepped out of the room, and before he closed the door, he noticed something on the ceiling.

He turned the light on; it vanished. Turned the light off, and it re-appeared.

It was everywhere in the room; warded against _everything_. There were sigils on the walls and floors, barring entrance to a demon, and smaller ones, that helped repel demons who tried to get in. Dean left the light off and shut the door. There was another door he almost missed and almost pounced on it, slowly pulling on the handle to open the wooden door. This time, a spare bedroom opened up to him, pale but comfortably furnished.

So the woman didn't have children. It was childish, but it made Dean feel better. He didn't want to be encroaching on any children's lives, especially if their mother was nothing more than a cheap fuck. He still didn't remember sleeping with anyone.

He closed the door, before moving around to sit on the top step. He placed his head in his hands, now unsure of what to do. He couldn't find his clothes, which meant he had no idea where his phone or keys were. If the situation called for it, he would hot wire his baby, but it meant he would have to make it up to her somehow. He would have to go to Bobby's; he had no spare key and Sam wasn't in town at the moment, out on a conference with the lawyer's firm he was working with.

But right now, he could do with a little Angelic Guidance. Yes, it was important enough to garner capital letters.

Dean clasped his hands together, resting them against his forehead. "Cas, I really need you, man... I don't know where the Hell I am, and I can't find anything..."

He closed his eyes for a moment, letting go of the weirded-out feeling he was getting so Cas knew that he was in trouble.

There was no rustling of wings, and Dean looked up, letting loose a shaky sigh. Castiel hadn't answered him. He could count on one hand the amount of times that had happened, and there were always important reasons why the angel hadn't turned up.

"God dammit, Cas," He whispered into the darkness.

"Dean?" Came the voice from behind him. Dark and gravelly, as if Dean was lying on a rocky beach, and the waves had pushed the stones across bare skin.

Dean spun his head around so quickly, he thought he would get whiplash. Castiel was standing in the middle of the master bedroom's doorway, a sheet wrapped around him, a bare shoulder visible to the world. Dean didn't want to know what he'd interrupted, or the weird feeling he felt when he saw his Angel standing there, semi-naked.

"Dean?" Castiel repeated, leaning against the door-jamb, "Why did you pray for me? You've not done that in a long time,"

"What? No, Cas. I called you the other day," Dean whispered a reply, getting to his feet quickly, "Listen, there's a woman asleep in there, and I have no idea what's going on, or where I am. I need you to use your angel mojo to get me back home,"

Cas looked confused for a moment, blue eyes darkened by it, "Are you sure you're okay?"

He raised a hand and pressed it to Dean's cheek, running a thumb under the hunter's eye.

"You could have had another nightmare; come back to bed,"

"But," Dean hissed indignantly, pointing to the bedroom, "There's a woman asleep in that bed! I've seen her. I think she's a hunter, and this is her house. Are you not surprised by that?"

"Dean," Castiel said sternly, using his hand's pressure on the hunter's face to make him look at the angel fully, "I think you might not be feeling well. The only people who have been in that bed are you and me. This is our house; you decided to buy it. I do not understand how you've forgotten all that."

Cas sounded hurt, and Dean knew that the angel was currently probing his mind to figure out what was wrong with him.

Dean didn't understand why Cas insisted that this was their house. They didn't live together; did angels even have homes? Why would they be the only ones sleeping in that bed, too? They weren't dating, and there was no way on Earth that Dean would, because let's face it – they're both men; one is indebted to the other for dragging him out of hell and he's an Angel for Christ's sake! If that didn't earn him a golden ticket to Hell, then he didn't know what would. Still... No, he brushed the thought from his mind before it could form a solid thread. Not when there was an angel currently in contact with his face.

He moved away, gently taking Cas' hand from his face. Cas curled his fingers around the hunter's and began to drag him back to the bedroom, one hand still holding the sheet around his thin frame.

Dean froze. He had been asleep next to the angel. The elegant curve of his neck, the alabaster white of his back... Dean closed his eyes. He'd been naked, in a bed, with Castiel. His best friend, an Angel of the Lord. His best friend. An Angel.

The words kept rampaging in his head, even as Cas moved him again and spilled him onto the bed's mattress.

Best Friend. Angel. Best Friend. Angel. -

If there was one thing that Dean condoned, it was sleeping with best friends, or almost-family. That split apart friendships. He'd seen it happen. He wasn't sure that he and Cas had even slept together. He was straight; Cas probably didn't even know what to do, considering he was still a virgin.

But then Cas was in his face, breath ghosting onto his lips. Dean felt his breathing increase and the angel took that as a good thing, pressing gentle but firm lips to his. Dean bucked, raised hands and pushed the angel off him.

"What the fuck?" Dean exclaimed, suddenly aware of his own near-nudity. He expected that Cas was naked under that sheet, and suppressed a groan. This was definitely not good.

"Dean?" Cas was hurt; voice heaving with an emotion that Dean never got to hear normally. Although Castiel had become more humanised, hurt was an emotion that usually evaded the angel.

"Look, Cas, I don't know what we did last night, because I honestly can't remember anything. But whatever did happen... It was a mistake. You're my friend, right? You're an angel, having sex with another man must be blasphemous or something."

Dean bit down on his lip, worrying it with his teeth. He observed the emotions that filtered through the angel; always readable to Dean. It flickered through like a slot machine, unsure on what emotion was going to stick.

Then anger bubbled to the surface, marring the perfect face of the angel. Dean gulped, suddenly unsure of what the angel was going to do.

"Mistake," His voice was calm, too calm, "MISTAKE?" He shouted; causing Dean to unnaturally flinch at the sound. Cas could be _loud_. He thankfully lowered his voice to spit at Dean, "So you're telling me that the last year of our lives have been wasted because you think that it's a mistake? And since when have you been blasphemous? There is nothing wrong with two men loving each other; love cannot be defined with petty words and mannerisms. My father fully approves of our relationship, you know! So does Gabriel! He's the only reason I gained the courage to approach you. And look where it landed me; for you to turn around a year later and throw it all away. Do you know what you're throwing away?"

Dean stood, causing Castiel to take a step back. His outburst was... unexpected, to be honest. They had apparently been dating for a year, yet Dean had no recollection of that whatsoever. Like the whole year had been wiped from his memory.

"Cas, look. It's... Hard to explain. The last memory I have is of my boss telling me to go home after working late at the mechanic's. And is Gabriel with Sam, still?"

"Yes," Cas replied darkly, arms awkwardly by his side again.

Dean nodded, as if being told the weather.

"You will sleep in the spare room for the rest of tonight, Dean. I will speak to you in the morning."

Cas pushed Dean forcibly from the bedroom and slammed the door, leaving Dean to stare at the grainy wood in front of him.

What the fuck had just happened?

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><p><em>Okay! Chapter two's finished. I'm sorry if this chapter's weird, but it had to be done. I'm worried Cas is out of character... But come on, how would you react if the love of your life turned around in the middle of the night and said that it was all a mistake? I know I'd be pissed.<em>

_I know where this story is going, as well as knowing a way to tie in another one I was writing as a sequel. I'm too good, considering this is only the second chapter xD_

_Baww, expect weirdness next chapter as Dean tries to figure out what's wrong and Gabriel had plans for the warring "couple."_

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><p><em>Talk again: I'm really wondering if this thing is broken. To me it looks like a wall of text, and I'm worried it will put people off. But when I re-do spaces, it saves and reverts back to how it originally was. It's frustrating. I'm wondering if I should use the DocX feature instead, to preserve everything I've done... BAH.<em>


	3. In My Shoes

**Helping Hand**

**- Daianta**

I don't own Supernatural. Because with my mind, things would get very weird, very quickly. Still don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing...

_So... How's everyone doing? Good, yeah?_

_I bring thee the next instalment of Helping Hand! I bring back Gabriel, because I love him! _

_And Dean and Cas have a showdown over Dean's memory loss._

_Ahem... Onwards!_

_So this is the last chapter I'm posting before I go away to uni. I move in tomorrow, and I'm really looking forward to it! Wish me luck, it's a new thing for me. This will probably be updated monthly. Don't worry, I'm not about to abandon this. As I write this AN, I'm on the second page of chapter 7. It's straight up feelings, and I have a habit of writing it on Gmail and emailing it to myself... xD_

**Chapter Three – In My Shoes**

_Word Count: 3,700_

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><p>Light filtered through the balcony windows, flooding the perfectly positioned bed in warm sunlight as the sun rose. Gabriel was positioned on the edge of the bed, watching his lover sleep. His boyfriend.<p>

Gabriel wasn't a sentimental type; being an angel meant he didn't have to care for things that would vanish in the blink of an eye. But something made him want to hang on to everything he shared with Sam. From the little things he did, like poking his tongue out as he worked on a difficult assignment or the way he'd leave little sugary snacks in the fridge when Gabriel had had a bad day doing angel stuff. He constantly argued with his remaining brothers, most notably Raphael, now that Lucifer and Michael were in The Cage. Raphael did not see the point in Gabriel and Sam dating; Sam was only Lucifer's vessel, after all. He was a _human_. Raphael had snorted at the idea, and it took every fibre of Gabriel's being to not beat his brother's sorry ass into Hell.

He loved Sam. That, he knew without conviction. It was the only thing that was so _true_ with him; no trickery or deception. Pure. Gabriel knew that Sam wasn't pure; spending time in Hell would change that. No one was perfect, and it was those imperfections that made a person, not their perfections. And for Sam... Seeing his scars on his mind and body made Gabriel realise that even if he was a human, he had endured more than most angels had, the Archangel himself included. He had been there to soothe Sam's nightmares, and had seen the lowest points of the hunter's life. Gabriel had physically pushed him into an apprenticeship with a local lawyer's firm, and had picked him up from the metaphorical floor and watched him fly, soar, rise almost above the heavens as his life began to work again.

And the Archangel had been a primary instigator in that. Dean had silently thanked him, actions speaking louder than words. Dean was appreciative of their relationship for the simple fact that Sam was _happy_. Happiness wasn't something that often befell a hunter; Bobby was a stern warning to that. But by having an indestructible boyfriend, it allowed him to relax a bit more.

Gabriel sat, watching his partner sleep. He knew that the giant man would be awake soon, too in tune with his natural rhythm. With anyone else, Gabriel would vomit. With Sam, it was normal. Once upon a time, when humanity was still young, Gabriel would have been unable to see anything as normal; would create chaos to upset that 'normal' balance.

He looked down the bed, following the sheeted contours of his lover, before staring out of the window to watch the sunrise. Gabriel was unmoving, used to such activities. He had a leg bent underneath him, the left leg hanging off the edge of the bed. He had put on clothes since the night before, and missed the skin-on-skin contact that he associated with Sam Winchester.

He didn't need to sleep; angels were better than that, but he did like sleeping when Sam was there. Lately, they never seemed to have enough time. Work commitments, Gabriel's inability to stay in one place all day and other people meant they had hardly any time for themselves.

He laid back, head about hip level with Sam. The angel could feel Sam beginning to wake.

Sam's phone buzzed on the end table, and the hunter jerked, blinking rapidly. Gabriel shut his eyes, resting his hands on his chest, tapping his fingers absent-mindedly against a cotton shirt. He laced his fingers as Sam answered the phone and gasped, sitting up suddenly. Gabriel opened an eye, turning his head around a little to stare up at the hunter.

Sam's eyes were wide, mouth parted oh-so-invitingly for the angel. Gabriel, sensing an emotion bubbling under Sam's skin, sat up, twisting the small body at the waist to stare at Sam as he hurriedly questioned the person on the phone and hung up.

He extended his arm to rest his weight against, and leant into Sam.

"Who was that?"

"Gabriel. I have a confession to make to you," Sam's voice was strained with emotion, like a puppy excited over something.

The Archangel looked suspicious, narrowing eyes at Sam, "What have you done?"

Sam's face split into a huge grin, and he sighed at the ceiling, before crossing his legs on the bed.

"Louise. She's pregnant. Louise is pregnant."

Gabriel went slack jawed, shoulders hunching over as he closed in towards Sam.

"Louise Wilkinson? The blond?"

Sam nodded, eyes bright and wide. He looked ecstatic. Gabriel got to his feet, rounding on Sam suddenly, jumping onto the bed and onto Sam, pulling him into what felt like a bear hug. The angel had more energy to him than Sam realised.

Gabriel was celebrating in Sam's ear, shouting words in English, Enochian and any other language that sprung to mind.

"Dad! You're going to be a dad, Sam!"

"Gabriel, no. _We're_ going to be dads. Parents."

Sam let out a cheer as Gabriel sat up, aware that he was straddling the human.

"You better hope that we have a girl. I want to call her Carina. It's latin, for 'beloved.'"

"Huh," Sam intoned, cocking his head to the side a little, there was a small grin on his face, "I wanted a boy. Alexis."

"Defender," Gabriel smiled.

Sam didn't think he'd ever seen anything so beautiful. He'd seen a range of emotions across the Archangel's face before; half of them he had caused.

Gabriel's smile was warm, completely devoid of trickery and dedicated to happiness. He was going to be a parent. So was Sam.

They had asked for a surrogate mother mainly because there was no way for angels to create children. Gabriel was still in a man's body, and his true form did not work like that. They decided to use Sam's sperm for the simple fact that if it was imbued with angelic powers (And there was always a possibility of this) it could kill the surrogate mother. That couldn't happen.

Besides, Gabriel was stoked to have a child that would look like Sam. If the first pregnancy went well and they could handle one child, then they would search for a strong hunter surrogate to hold Gabriel's child, to better cope with the strains of a half-angelic baby taking up the body space.

Sam pulled Gabriel into a hug, tears filling his eyes.

"I love you Gabriel; I really do. That time in Babylon made me realise we could work. I've been through so much with you, and we still have so far to go."

If Dean was here, he would be spewing crap about chick-flick moments, and Sam was thankful for once that he wasn't. This was a moment between the lovers; their relationship moving on to a much serious matter involving new people now; children.

Sam knew that they would be able to get through anything; he felt invincible at that moment in time.

Gabriel let out a muffled laugh into Sam's shoulder.

"I think I should ruin this moment for you by telling you that Dean's locked in an imaginary world where he and Castiel are in a relationship. It's been a whole seven hours there, and he's already blown the whole thing up."

Sam pulled Gabriel back by his shoulders and looked him square in the eye, "What?"

"Yeah..." Gabriel trailed off, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck, "Dean needs to learn to see what's in front of him and appreciate it. He's pissed off Cas though, so there's no telling what he'll do."

"And does Cas know about this?"

Sam sent a well-used Bitch-Face to Gabriel, who brushed it off with a wave of his hand.

"Cas isn't trapped inside. By the time everyone realises that Dean won't wake up, the little world will be over and Dean will suddenly know his true feelings for Cas."

Sam looked thoughtful for a moment, suddenly interested in the world his boyfriend had trapped his brother in.

"So Dean's already screwed things up?"

* * *

><p>Dean was sat at the table, hands nursing a beer at ten in the morning. God knew he needed it. Cas had brought him some clothes for him to wear that fit him well. Dean had to admit defeat. He was emotionally and mentally tired. How could he have forgotten a year? It was like he had been left out of the loop for juicy gossip and now everyone was talking about it, leaving him nauseous and disorientated.<p>

He was in jeans and a plain t-shirt, white in colour. Cas hadn't arrived downstairs yet, still hidden in the safety of the master bedroom. The room Dean had stayed in was comfy, he had to admit. It was the sort of room he would create for himself.

After the disastrous argument with Castiel, Dean had only managed a few hours sleep, and had snuck downstairs to find something to do. This was apparently Cas' and his house, so he had every right to. He took his time exploring now, no longer worried about being set upon by an unknown woman.

A part of Dean was ashamed that he had mistaken a sleeping Castiel for a woman; those types of mistakes were not common occurrences. He wondered, briefly, if he was still dreaming. His inability to remember the past year was scary, though, and he drank deeply, willing everything to vanish.

Dean stood after finishing the bottle, intent on looking around outside for his car. If the Impala was there, he would have to take a step back and evaluate the situation. That car did not go anywhere without him. She was a part of Dean that could not be replaced, ever.

There was a doorway on the other side of the kitchen and Dean took that, opening the door and stepping down a step that led to a concrete floor. The lights were off meaning it was dark and Dean flipped them on, hand snaking along the wall to find it.

The lights flickered once, twice, before staying on, and Dean surveyed the image in front of him.

The Impala stood, suddenly regal in an open garage, boxes stacked up in the corner. There was an old appliance too, that needed to be removed and sent to a dump, but he ignored that for now.

Luckily, the door was unlocked and Dean sat in his baby, running a hand over the dashboard. He felt like he didn't belong in the world he had been thrust into.  
>It was like the Djinn over again.<p>

_That_ made him stop. He had encountered this before. Locked in a world of 'what could have been,' Dean had only escaped by trying to kill himself. This couldn't possibly be the same situation?

_Think, Dean, think_. He thought internally, trying to remember the last night.

He had worked late, until his boss had sent him home. He'd bundled into the Impala, wished Sam (and Gabriel) goodnight and driven home. Once there, he had eaten a small meal and clambered into bed, intent on sleeping until noon the next day.

Then he'd woken up here.

It didn't fit. This didn't feel like a Djinn attack, and he'd surely fight back if something snuck up on him in his sleep. Dean then remembered when he was locked in TV land by Gabriel. God, he still hadn't forgiven the Archangel for that. He was going to call Sam and Gabriel, right now.

Dean placed one last hand on the steering wheel and stepped out, shutting the door slowly. He turned around and stepped back into the kitchen, shutting the door behind him.

Castiel was standing in the dining room doorway, arms crossed over his chest. His head was cocked to the side, and he was leaning against the door frame. Dean could feel the tension in the air, but did not want another argument with Castiel. He felt a weird feeling in his chest at the thought of arguing with him, but brushed it off.

"Did you sleep well?" Cas' comment was almost off-hand, a remark made to start conversation. He sounded tired, angry and sad all at the same time. Dean felt bad; he was the primary instigator in his angelic friend's moods.

"I slept for a bit, yeah," He replied, almost cagey in his answer.

"We need to talk," Cas said, dropping his head for a moment, "It's important."

"Yeah, I know, Cas." Dean replied again, moving to lean against a counter by the sink. He knew what Cas was going to talk about, but he had no idea how to reply. You didn't just wake up and forget everything that happened, it didn't work like that.

"Remind me again what you remember last."

He sighed, before recounting what he remembered. As he talked, Dean couldn't see emotions stirring in Cas' eyes, only coldness. It was unlike the angel; he cared for Dean no matter what he did. It was a result of their profound bond.

"And you're telling me that you can't remember anything? A year and a half has passed since you worked for that place."

"What do you mean? I was there yesterday."

"No, Dean. It was knocked down a year and a half ago. You began working elsewhere. After a half year there, we got together, then brought this place so you were closer to your work."

"... Do you really expect me to believe that, Cas?"

"Angels do not lie, Dean. I'm... Worried about you."

Dean exhaled sharply, and turned his head away, to stare at the floor.

"I'm worried too, Cas. I don't know what's going on, I don't really know where I am, and this whole... Thing? Between us. It's kinda confusing." He looked up to let out a watery smile, before running a hand across his face in resignation.

"If I could remember, I would. As such, I don't so... I don't know."

He heard the angel walk over to him and removed the hand from his face, where it had covered his eyes. He felt the weight of the world on his shoulders, unable to understand what had happened to him. What had he done to deserve having his world turned upside down?

"I am going to take a look inside your head. Don't move. It won't hurt."

Cas' cool hand on Dean's forehead made him think back to the time surrounding the Apocalypse. Cas was always there to help him, to beam him to places and to safety. What had Dean done to thank him? Tried to get him laid by some hookers and generally treated him like he was stupid. Castiel was in no way stupid. Naïve, perhaps, but he had a knowledge of the world that was skewed by his perspective on things, and from the people or angels he associated with. He saw things differently to humans. The human race was meant to be loved and that was what he did, resolutely, because that was how he was raised by God.

Dean's eyes slid shut as he felt Cas' presence fill his head. It didn't hurt, but it was a strange feeling. Like suffocating. He could see Castiel at the same time the angel could see him. It felt Golden, warm, pleasant, even. There was a calming presence surrounding Castiel, and Dean could, for a split second, see how much Castiel loved him. If Dean didn't know any better, he would think that he was seeing Castiel's true form; the white light that fried the eyes of whomever looked at it.

Then Cas' presence was gone; and Dean felt slightly empty. It was stranger than being filled with someone else's presence, replaced with a sort of longing, like someone thirsty longs for a cold drink on a hot day.

Castiel looked concerned, "I see no damage to you, Dean, but your statement backs up your knowledge. You really don't have any recollection of the past year, do you?"

Dean shook his head, "No. I don't really know anything at this moment in time."

"Hmm." Cas did something uncharacteristic of him and bit his lip, "Sam and Gabriel are coming over soon, so perhaps it would be wise to get Gabriel to investigate."

"So they're still together, even after all this time?" Dean prodded, looking down at Cas.

"Yes." His eyes smiled, even if the rest of his face remained impassive, "A lot has changed for them, for the better. Sam is now a lawyer, and he is providing a decent wage for their household."

"What about Gabriel?"

"He is still around. He doesn't like sitting still. When Sam's at work he sometimes comes here, or he goes... Elsewhere. He rarely goes back to heaven anymore. Not after his arguments with Raphael got violent."

Dean raised an eyebrow quizzically, "I knew they were arguing, but I didn't know how bad it had gotten."

"Raphael views Sam as Lucifer's vessel only. As a mere human," Cas' face contorted into a frown, before looking back up at Dean, almost stepping into his personal space. Perhaps he had learnt about space issues.

"Gabriel doesn't like anyone who insults Sam. Sam _died_ for us all, Raphael included. So to be cast aside like that, my brother grew very angry."

"And they had a big punch-up, eh?"

Cas smiled thinly, and nodded, "It shook the earth a little. Caused earthquakes, extreme weather. People began calling it the Apocalypse. If only they knew..."

"We managed to stop it. Gabriel had every right to battle Raphael from what I've heard."

Cas moved aside into the kitchen further, and opened a cupboard.

"I don't know what you want to eat. Since you don't remember much, I think you should get your strength up before we talk about what you've missed out on. However, it would be in your best interest if we wait until Sam and Gabriel are here."

He moved out of the kitchen and left Dean by himself.

What could Cas possibly tell him? From what he had said in the early hours of the morning, Dean had gathered that he and Cas were dating. He didn't understand why anyone would want him, let alone an angel. And for the long run, too. Dean was only ever used to one night stands, to have someone want him sent a curious feeling shooting along his spine. He ignored it for now, deciding to lock the feeling away until he was able to analyse it.

Dean ended up eating cereal, a thing that seemed mundane. Living on the road had stripped the little privileges from him, and he relished in the almost-normalcy that it brought. He refused to sit at the table, however, preferring to lean against the counter, and stare out of the window at the garden. They had a _garden_. He briefly wondered if there were children here at some point, or they were planning on children. He wasn't sure of his views on it, if he was completely honest, mouth full of half-eaten cereal. Yeah, he loved children, but was his and Cas' 'relationship' that far advanced?

Cas came down briefly to inform Dean he had called Bobby along too, to better discuss their options for Dean to get his memory back. Dean had countered that he hadn't lost his memory, but had never had it in the first place. He purposely refrained from starting an argument with Castiel; his face was as sad as a puppy that had been kicked. It hurt Dean to see his friend in that sort of way. He looked heartbroken but angry, and Dean only had himself to blame for that.

It hurt. Simply speaking, Dean didn't like seeing Castiel in that much pain. He was the reason for it, the same expression he'd seen in Sam again and again while they lived on the road. It was almost a look of disappointment; he'd run the race, but ended up tripping at the end and receiving bronze instead of gold.

Dean wasted his time as slowly as possible, exploring the house further. Castiel had given him free reign over the place, informed him of the little things had Dean bothered to open his eyes and look.

There was a further two bedrooms in the attic space; a conversion that Sam and Gabriel had helped them do, with a little angel mojo. They were doubles, like all other rooms in the house. Dean wondered if guests frequented the house, a replacement for Bobby's place, so to speak. A gathering point.

He knew without looking that there would be seals and charms all over the place, hidden underneath rugs or in glow in the dark paint. The Dean of the future, who had been with Castiel in this home, was nothing short of paranoid, and had evidentially strived to look after his little family.

His investigations lead him back to the living room, where the angel was sitting, occupied with a book. His legs were curled underneath him, arms curling around to hold the book in place. He stared down at it; only moving to turn the page. His eyes flickered back and forth, purposely ignoring the hunter that stood helpless in the space between the sofa and the coffee table.

"Sit down, Dean. We can only wait until Sam, Gabriel and Bobby get here,"

Dean stared at him for a second, eyes wanting to bulge out of his brain. He stopped, however, and moved to sit on the edge of the leather sofa, away from Castiel. He amused himself by watching the outside world pass by.

More than once, he looked over at Castiel, and was thankful that he occasionally looked back. Dean really just wanted the old, normal Castiel back.

* * *

><p><em>Thank you for reading this chapter, loves. Please leave a review. I know it's cliched to say it, but they make me so happy. I'm stressed out with everything in my life at the moment, so anything's appreciated. Thank you so much with the reviews and story favesalerts I've received so far. Thank you also for the author alert/faves as well. Gemma out!_


	4. Reunion

**Helping Hand**

**- Daianta**

I don't own Supernatural. If I did, I would make it so that it's only a day behind the US for the UK fans who have to wait. That seems fair, right?

_Hello again! This is chapter four of Helping Hand. I hope you've been enjoying it so far, because from here on out things start getting interesting._

_I feel there's a lot of describing in this chapter... It's a necessity, though. You've got to remember that Dean's not used to this, it's all new to him. I feel I'm too mean to Deano sometimes. I'm really sorry I'm giving you a science lesson in this chapter. I did research on amnesia and the brain for my A-Level science, so I think I'm competent with it... Thank you to the NHS for giving me leaflets and anything else I need to research this chapter. :D_

**Chapter Four – Reunion**

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><p><em>Word Count: 6,930<em>

The door knocked.

Dean looked up from his place by the sofa to stare out of the window, in the hopes of seeing who it was. He hoped desperately that it was Sam; his brother's cool knowledge and achingly familiar face would calm him and hopefully understand the situation. Or, better for Dean, a solution.

His brother was the brains of the operation; he always had been. Dean was the brawn, Sam the brains.

He watched as Castiel stood, almost weary on his feet, and left the room. The living room's door was pulled to, delaying the inevitability of seeing his brother. It was strange to think of his brother and an archangel knocking on a door, instead of simply appearing in the living room. They were in a neighbourhood, however, and to merely appear at someone's house would be taken in a strange sense. Evidentially, Castiel and the "other Dean" were _happy_ in this house, and he could see why they kept to human tradition.

He noted that Castiel no longer dressed as he remembered: no tax-accountant suit or tan trench coat in sight. Perhaps the suit had been ditched, but Dean was sure that the coat would stay. He found it comforting to see, a reminder of his one true friend in the world. Dean wasn't sure when he had realised Cas was his friend, but maybe dragging him out of Hell was the first instance of friendship. It was always Sam who seemed to get along with people better, but it felt like Dean and Cas just 'clicked.' After shooting him, but that wasn't important.

However, Cas' wardrobe update was a vast improvement on his overall appearance. He was wearing a pair of charcoal grey jeans, pale from countless washes. The hems were slightly tattered, but it was only a minor flaw that could be overlooked easily. He was, presumably, wearing a t-shirt, but it was covered by a navy blue jumper – almost a cardigan affair. It rather suited him, but Dean mentally flung the thought from his mind. Now was not the time.

It was surprising, really, to see him in 'normal' clothes. He'd been used to the same outfit for so long, seeing something different was... strange. Since Cas was an angel, couldn't he merely use his mojo to keep his clothes pristine? Maybe he wasn't an angel anymore. That thought scared him more than anything. Cas had been a human before, and it was not a good thing. He'd reacted badly to it; so badly in fact, it was as if he was allergic to humanity. In any sense, being human did not suit Castiel.

Dean made a note to ask Cas about it, even as the door opened.

Sam poked his head into the room, then the rest of him appeared, towering over Dean like he always had. It felt like a massive weight had been lifted from his chest, and he was so unbelievably happy at seeing his brother healthy and alive and so _normal_ when his own world had instantly fallen apart around him. Sam gave him the brightest smile Dean had ever seen. It felt like it rivalled the sun. Dean strode over, gripping his younger sibling by the shoulders. His fingers felt like they dug into skin, but he ignored it.

"Sammy?" He pulled the man into a hug, his head coming to rest by his shoulder.

"Dean?" Sam questioned awkwardly around his brother, pulling back to stare at him. He was trying to work out what was wrong with Dean.

"Things have been weird, Sam. Did Cas tell you about it?"

There were little murmurs from the hallway, but the Winchesters chose to ignore it.

"No, he was actually rather vague about it... What's wrong with you? You feel... Different."

Sam scrutinised his elder brother with narrowed eyes, and Dean began to feel himself fidget.

"Whatever it is, it's made Castiel seriously upset. What did you do?" The last sentence came out as a hiss, the lightest hint of anger seeping through. Dean felt his hackles raise.

"Me? I didn't do anything! I woke up this morning and suddenly everything's weird and gone to Hell."

"Excuse me," Castiel said, standing in the doorway, Gabriel behind him almost out of view, "We will explain all in a moment, now could you move to allow Gabriel room?"

Dean moved away from Sam as Gabriel entered the room, holding a blue car seat in the crook of his arm. The hand was free, the other had a stuffed toy, almost obnoxious in colour. It looked like some form of animal, deformed to make it child friendly.

Sam stepped further into the room, clearing a space on the sofa by moving cushions. He placed a bag on the floor, along with a white plastic mat. If Dean didn't know any better, he would say it was a changing mat. Judging by the car seat, Sam and Gabriel had a baby.

That seemed to throw him.

"What?" He hissed, eyeing Sam and the car seat in equal measure. Gabriel placed the baby on the sofa's edge, where there was no backing to it. Dean peered in, unable to help himself.

A baby was sleeping, undisturbed by the movements and noises around him. His tiny pink lips were slightly parted, tiny puffs of air moving between them with every breath. He had a cap of wispy hair, darker than Sam's, but that was normal. He looked like Sam. A hell of a lot. Dean had photos of Sam at that age, after their mother had died, and it was like looking at a photo now. A step back in time. He was cute though, Dean had to admit. Winchester genes were strong in the kid, and Dean knew he was going to be a heart breaker.

"You don't remember Alex, Deano?" Gabriel smirked, barging past Dean to unclip the baby from the seat. He left him sleeping in there, but allowed him a bit of room.

Dean felt his mouth flap open and shut.

"Did Sam cheat or something?"

He didn't take Sam to be an adulterer; he had high and mighty morals. Gabriel didn't seem fazed, actually happy, and Dean felt bad for accusing Sam.

It may have been because Gabriel had killed the woman after? He didn't know. All he knew was that angels couldn't have children, no matter what people or lore said. Anatomically, it was impossible. God wouldn't allow for his angels to reproduce with male humans, unless he'd wanted grandchildren so badly. As for females, would God mind letting his grandchildren live on Earth? Dean didn't want to think so, but the only things he'd heard about God weren't good. He'd taken a backseat role in parenthood. Oh, Dean thought of Jesus, briefly. He was apparently the son of God, raised on Earth. He laughed. Gabriel had been the one to tell Mary all about that... Which was a weird sentence on its own.

So male angels (even if their true form was genderless) couldn't get knocked up, but they could knock up others. Hypothetically speaking. Their meatsuits would be able to, but the angels themselves? No. It could only mean Sam had cheated; Alex looked so much like his father.

Dean turned to Sam, mouth open for a witty remark or scathing comment; but he wasn't sure which one would make an appearance. Sam raised his hand in defence, stalling his brother from speaking.

"I got three words for you, Dean. 'Lesbian' and 'turkey-baster.'"

Dean recoiled in disgust, grimacing, "Eww. Too much, man." Even as Sam let out a smirk that seemed more befitting on Gabriel's face.

In every other aspect, however, Sam looked fine. He was happy, healthy. He had the baby-glow about him that Dean had only ever heard of. He no longer looked haunted. It was good to hear and visibly see that Sam and Gabe were still together, even in this different world he had been pushed into.

Gabriel, too, looked like the cat that had gotten the cream. What did Dean expect? Gabriel had just completed his little family. With no tricks or strings attached.

Although Dean and Gabriel had never gotten along to begin with, even after Gabriel had helped them with the apocalypse, (Gabe had killed him, dammit!) they formed an official truce for Sam's sake. He wanted them all to get along so they could overcome the Apocalypse together. Dean had always assumed it was because he was crushing on the Archangel, and damn had he been proved right.

They had formed a firm friendship over time, when trust wasn't as much of an issue anymore. The Apocalypse was over; Castiel was still with Dean and Gabriel merely tagged along for the ride. (To hook up with Sam, Cas had whispered to Dean in secret at a diner).

Oh, and then there was the bonding over music and football, but neither party would speak about it out loud. They trusted each other; but still had spats from time to time. They were too similar to get along all the time. It was that trust that was important. Gabriel still got under Dean's skin, but he would allow him to live because he'd never hurt Sam, which was the most important thing for Dean.

Even after months of studying ways to bring back Sam from Hell, Gabriel never gave up. Dean valued that. He was pissed off though when Cas turned up one evening with a very distressed and confused Sam. Death had helped bring back the younger Winchester, combining his knowledge on returning souls to bodies and Cas' knowledge of Hell. (He'd rescued Dean, remember?)

"Alright, Dean, when you've finished staring into space like some sort of stoner, do you want to tell us why you dragged Sammy and I from our post-coital bliss?"

_Ah, Gabriel_. Dean thought, throwing a glare in his direction, _As vulgar as ever_.

"Gabe!" Sam hissed, stepping around Dean to poke at his boyfriend.

"What?"

"What've I told you? Don't mention what we get up to in front of Dean, he'll try to hit you again."

The bitchface that Sam utilised was a new variant, one that Dean hadn't seen before. He realised it had been born because of Gabriel, and sent his silent approval to the trickster/Archangel.

Sam was blushing, and it took a moment to realise it was because he was embarrassed over his lover's remark. Evidentially, Sam was still not used to discussing sex in front of his brother.

He was abrupt in changing topic, for Gabriel had opened his mouth again.

"Hey! Look at me, please? The reason you're here is because of me, let's keep it that way."

"Leech." Sam bitched, but he smiled.

Gabriel let out a 'hmpf!' before falling onto the sofa like a petulant child. The image was ruined by the soft way he landed, careful to not wake up the baby. Alex, Dean corrected.

The Archangel muttered to himself, but Dean only managed to catch the words 'ruined' and 'fun'.

"Okay. I woke up this morning with no recollection of the past year and a half. Ask me anything. I bet you I won't remember it."

"What?" Sam asked, "You're telling me you don't even remember last weekend?" He didn't seem convinced. Their previous weekend sounded cool, though, and he speculated that it had something to do with booze. With Dean, it was always booze.

"Nope. I remember falling asleep after doing overtime at David's Mechanics then waking up here."

Castiel interjected, "I've checked him over. I cannot find any form of damage, and I would appreciate it if you could have a look. You're better at spotting the little details, Gabriel."

Cas looked over at Gabriel from his position in front of the TV. His arms were dangling awkwardly by his sides, reverted back to the nerdy angel always unsure of his meatsuit. His eyes were downcast, almost pitiful. There was a sadness to him that Dean could feel rolling from him in waves. He'd never seen his friend so bad before.

"I just want the old Dean back."

Dean wanted to stand up and scream that he was the old Dean, their imagination version of him was the newer, future Dean. An imposter. He refrained from doing so, however. Castiel looked like he wanted to cry, even as Gabriel stood and skirted around the coffee table to envelop his brother in an awkward and under-used hug.

_He really is in love with me_. Dean thought. He remembered that morning, with Castiel kissing him. Like they'd been lovers for a while; apparently they'd been together for a year. Could the previous weekend have anything to do with that yearly mark? It seemed likely.

Dean hadn't thought about how much the others would be affected and hurt by this. He had been selfish again, and that wasn't fair.

"Take a minute, Cas," Gabriel spoke into his brother's ear quietly, unnaturally gentle with him, "We'll get to the bottom of what's wrong with Dean and put him right for you."

He motioned for Dean to stand by the dining table, but found himself ignored. Dean was looking at the baby.

"What's his full name?"

Sam found himself wanting to retort out that he should know, but hesitated. This was not the same Dean he had spoken to a few days previously. He had to pretty much start from scratch again.

"Alexis Jacob Winchester. Born on 14th February, two days late. Seven pounds and eight ounces."

"He looks like you. So much," Dean replied weakly, still looking at Alexis.

"D'you wanna hold him?"

Sam didn't allow his brother a chance to reply and stood, lifting the child gently from the seat. His tiny eyes opened blearily, blinking, and he opened his mouth to cry. Sam shushed him, rocking him gently to get him to calm down. He looked like a natural with kids. He transferred the baby to Dean's arms.

Alex was small, but Dean didn't know how old he was. He was looking up at Dean with curiosity but also familiarity; he'd known him since the day of his birth, presumably a few months before; at least six.

He had green eyes, like Dean, but they were darker, more blended in with brown that came from the surrogate mother. Dean didn't care; he was captivated with the child. People always said he was good with children, but in actual fact, he just cared for them. They were too small to take care of themselves, so someone had to ensure they grew up well.

"How old is he now?"

"Nine months." Gabriel replied, sitting on Dean's left. He stroked a finger along Alexis' hand, and positively beamed when fingers latched onto his index. Sam moved the carrier away and sat on his brother's other side.

Dean did a little mental math, as Cas moved over to sit behind Gabriel, just behind Dean.

"So it's December?" Oh God, what's the date?"

At his panicked tone, Sam laughed, "Relax. It's the 16th. You've still got time to buy new presents for everyone you would have otherwise forgotten about."

"But there are no decorations..."

"Well," Sam began. Gabriel interrupted him.

"We were planning on Christmas over at mine. Our place looks like some sort of mall show, with decorated trees and lights everywhere. And presents. There are a lot of presents, mostly for Alex." Gabriel looked wistful, like he wanted a huge amount of presents.

"Although you celebrate the season, Deano, you aren't really keen on the whole 'decorate everything you see!' aspect. Castiel doesn't see the point in Christmas, either. Hence why your place is kinda empty. Devoid, if you like."

Dean didn't respond. He didn't need to; Gabriel had hit him spot on; his views were highly accurate.

"If we can't get to the bottom of this soon, Dean, I will take you to the centre so you can buy presents for those you care about."

This time, Castiel did lean into Dean. He didn't mind the contact, but felt slightly weirded out by the fact that the body by his side was mega crushing on him. Especially with his brother on his other side, and Gabriel next to Castiel.

Gabriel stood, causing Cas to sit up again.

"C'mon, Dean. Let's see if we can fix you. Cas, did you manage to get in contact with Bobby?"

He nodded slowly, looking up at Gabe, "Yes, I managed to get through to him. Since he's merely down the road, he said to call him again if you cannot find anything. He seems under the impression that an angel can solve anything."

"Well, we kinda can," Gabriel countered, "But there are aspects we can't touch. Dean's amnesia isn't something we can cure; the mind is a place that belongs to the person, or the body. We cannot give memories to people; because we are not them."

Dean and Gabriel stepped over to the glass dining table, after the former had handed Alex to his patiently waiting father. He was placed rather forcibly onto a chair, also made from the same metal as the table. It was rather comfy, however. Dean liked comfort.

The archangel placed his hands on Dean's shoulders, and he felt his fingers dig into his skin. Instantly, it felt like he was on fire, seeping from Gabriel's fingers following the narrow pathways of his veins and arteries. They seemed to bleed out, spreading the pain to his organs and his skin, burning fire over him. His breathing increased with the pain, but he stopped himself from crying out. He would not show he was weak.

How was this a check-up? They weren't supposed to hurt like this! Dean bit at his lip to stop himself; he found that he had no intention of causing Alexis upset. He tried to distract himself by watching Gabriel; the angel's face was contorted in concentration, chocolate eyes boring into Dean's green ones. He seemed distant; he was looking at Dean but his mind was elsewhere. Dean felt like he was being scanned; his very soul bared for Gabriel. Cas hadn't done this. Perhaps he didn't wish to cause him pain? Dean didn't know. But this was no simple case of looking into his head to see what was wrong.

Gabriel moved his left hand to the side of Dean's neck and proceeded to prod his fingers there, too. Dean couldn't help but hiss in pain and try to move away. Gabriel was firm, keeping him in place using his angelic powers. The pain felt worse as it crept up to his head. He had the distinct feeling that the preliminaries were over, and Gabe was now infiltrating his mind against his will. If Gabriel was concerned by Dean's erratic pulse under his long fingers, he didn't show it.

The pain seemed to intensify as Dean went suddenly blind, and he realised that Gabriel was truly in his head, as Castiel had been earlier. Their vessels were right, as Dean thought of Jimmy. It was like being chained to a comet. But Cas had been a warm, golden light in his head. Perhaps it was because of their bond. Gabriel felt like the sun, like a migraine that was at its peak and couldn't possibly worsen. Dean couldn't see because of Gabriel's sheer presence. He was an Archangel; at least 100 times more powerful than an ordinary angel. Gabriel was the youngest of the four, however. Dean wondered if the other three; Lucifer, Michael and Raphael, were worse feeling.

Sure, Dean and Sam were able to house an Archangel; the hints during the Apocalypse were enough proof of that. But really? After time it would burn you out; they would become a hollow shell, a former version of what Dean was now.

Gabriel wasn't cold, but neither was he warm. He was a neutral presence, unlike the void Dean was sure Lucifer would feel like. Dean made a note to ask Sam about what that felt like. He was a blur of colours that shimmered like the sun on the surface of the ocean, oscillating like waves. Dean felt a tide of emotions from the angel, however, much like he had done with Castiel. It mainly consisted of Sam and Alexis, Dean knew without seeing. Where Sam was a vivid green in the metaphorical sky of his mind, Alex was the deep blue of the unnatural sun. Gabriel himself was the ocean, and the three of them blended together in harmony. It was sweet, if Dean wasn't so allergic to girly situations.

But it was also a good thing to truly see Gabriel's feelings. They still had secrets; an Archangel would undoubtedly have more than the average person, but to see him so bare and open... Dean was thankful that Gabriel had so much trust in him.

The pain receded the further Gabriel entered his mind. His senses returned, but so that he was aware of what was in his head, rather than the outside world. This was no mere look-over, Gabriel was trying desperately to fix Dean for his brother.

**There really is nothing... You don't remember, do you?**

_I told you I didn't. Why does no one ever listen to me?_

**Because you talk shit a lot, Deano. I'm leaving now. I've got no answers. It's time to ponder human medicine.**

Gabriel all but vanished from Dean's mind, an instantaneous effect. He was momentarily unsure of whether he was in his mind or in reality, but he blinked, and the world began to fall back into focus.

"Damn, Gabriel, when you were in my mind everything was fine and dandy. Getting there hurt like a bitch."

"The pain was a preliminary. I was assessing whether you had been modified by a being, supernatural or not. I also checked to see if you had been placed in another dimension or parallel world. That, too, brought up no answers. You've not been placed in the future you don't remember by a Djinn, nor by an angel."

"So I really have no recollection of the last year?"

Gabriel shook his head, a frown forming, "Nope. Usually those who suffer from amnesia have a head wound or something that would allow for the brain to... relapse, if you will, making you forget recent memories."

"You also have to remember, Gabriel, that even if you were to heal the damage of such a wound, there is no accounting for the lost memories. Sometimes they come back on their own, other times they don't. There may also be no wounds; some people can be hit on the head years ago and not get amnesia, but the second time they get hit, whether it be the week after or years in advance, they can relapse in to a weird form of amnesia."

Castiel looked serious, and Dean was concerned with the amount of long words the two angels were using. Dean was a rabid fan of Doctor Sexy, MD, but even he hadn't picked up that much lingo. Someone had been looking in on hospitals for far too long.

"Well it can't be traumatic amnesia," Sam said, including himself in the conversation. Dean rapidly began to feel like he was surrounded by doctors, not a lawyer and two angels.

Gabriel and Sam stared at each other, "Retrograde?"

Dean looked confused, again. "What?"

Gabriel sighed, "Retrograde amnesia is a type of amnesia you get after an incident. Usually, it means they forget the events leading up to the incident, but people can forget days or even weeks."

"But Dean wasn't injured," Castiel argued, shifting his body on the sofa to look at Gabriel better, "We had a hunt a few days ago, but it was a simple spirit that needed cleansing. We weren't injured."

Dean understood the used weapons now, but not the bloodstains. One word stuck in his mind, however: demons.

"You don't think it's like that book, do you?" Sam said, suddenly sounding worried.

Gabriel and Dean looked blank. "What book?" They asked.

Sam sighed, "I once read a book called 'Remember Me.'"

"Oh great, not another sappy romance novel. Sammy, what have I told you?" Gabriel whined. Sam hoisted Alex onto the floor as Castiel moved the table back, the obscure cuddly toy in his hand ready for Alex to play with.

"Yeah, yeah," Sam protested, flapping a hand in the men's direction, "It was good. Basically, this girl had a pretty basic life, and she woke up one morning four years into the future. She'd ditched her friends and made a name for herself in business. I was wondering if Dean could have had something similar."

"But Dean's life is not some Kinsella novel, Sam. He's not going to run away with an architect; Dean can't even begin to spell the word business," Gabriel glanced at Dean, "No offence."

"I can spell it, okay?" He retorted, folding his arms in anger.

"Yeah, well... You haven't sustained an injury, allowing amnesia to take place. No one has possessed you or moved you to an alternate dimension. Sam!" Gabriel called, stepping away from Dean so he could stand, "Could you get into contact with Bobby? See if he's got anything medically related to the brain. Knowing his extensive library, something should turn up."

Sam nodded and pulled out his phone, standing so he could make the call in the hallway. Alex had began to play with Cas, who seemed oddly familiar with the baby. Alex was sitting, legs bowed in a circle. He was shouting his head off, hands clapping together awkwardly as he and Cas played a stuffed-animal version of hide and seek.

Dean looked over to see Gabriel watching, an honest look of contentment on his face. His smile was warm, no trickery involved. Dean envied him a little, although he wouldn't bring himself to say it. He'd give anything to look that happy. Of course, he removed the thought process before it could eat him up inside. He'd never be happy while taking part in the night job that had previously ruled his life, and he couldn't bring himself to include a woman in that. Cassie had been the first and only girlfriend he'd told, and they were no longer together. A testament, perhaps. Hunters were never happy while hunting; they couldn't relax while there were people that could be used as hostages. Dean wondered if Gabriel was ever worried a demon would take Alex. He knew Sam would be, and he wanted to bet their house would be up to the teeth with devil-traps and repelling spells. Gabe could also create many versions of himself, and would probably utilise some of those while he took Alex to somewhere safe.

At least, that's what he thought. They may not even hunt anymore.

His brother stepped back into the room, pocketing the Blackberry.

"He's gonna be here in ten. Just gonna find some books, then he'll be right over."

They busied themselves while waiting for Bobby. Gabriel and Castiel were happily entertaining Alex, while Sam and Dean stood in the kitchen, preparing food for the baby. He was in the process of being weaned, as Sam informed Dean about, and they were introducing solids slowly. Dean was preparing pineapple slices, while Sam was sorting out the bottle for his son to drink. It was strangely domestic. In any other situation, Dean would be running for the hills. The fact that it was his brother made it different. Dean now had a duty to look after Alex; he was his nephew after all. Dean smirked. Family. They did weird things to you. If only his mum and dad were around to see their grandson.

"Sam, do you... Ah. It's kinda hard. Do you think mum and dad should have been here to see Alex?"

Sam nodded, without turning around to look at his brother. He put down the bottle, and fixed his gaze on the garden.

"Yeah, I do Dean. I sometimes wonder if they would be proud of me, proud of what I've become. I have a good, well-paid job; a boyfriend who I adore and a son that I could never replace now that I have him."

"You know they would be proud of you, Sammy. You're their son, they could never, ever feel bad about you."

Sam glanced over his shoulder, "I could say the same for you."

"Huh?"

"All you've ever done is look out for me. Seen me through college, looked after me while hunting, and while having your own issues to deal with. You've seen me at my lowest, and picked me up along with Gabe and Cas. Damn it, you've been to Hell for me. No other brother would have done so much for his sibling."

Dean clapped a hand on Sam's shoulder, "I'm glad you're my brother. Don't change, you sappy bitch."

Sam snorted, picking up the bottle again, "Jerk."

When Bobby turned up at the house, armed with a spare key, he was laden with books. Tiny scraps of coloured paper stuck out of various parts, obviously the important bits. He looked calm, but slightly confused. To Dean, he looked the same as he had before he lost his memory, and he was glad for that.

"What've you idjits been up to now?" He growled, letting the books drop from his hands onto the dining table. The glass rang with the weight but didn't crack, and Dean could only stare at the books.

"Why all the medical mumbo-jumbo?"

"Well, someone's gotta know how to patch people up. I kid you not, there are so many hunters out there that are dumb as Hell. They'd bleed to death from a paper-cut if given a chance."

Dean laughed, and settled himself onto an empty chair, pulling a book towards him. He flicked through idly while Gabriel, Cas and Sam filled Bobby in on what had transpired in Dean's head overnight.

"So he's forgotten the past year? Ordinary people don't just do that."

"That's what we thought," Sam replied, fingering a book's spine.

"Yeah, I can understand if it was his memories of Hell, but it's not. They're still there. I'm right in assuming that he still has nightmares, but they are less frequent now. Dean, how bad were your nightmares, from what you remember?"

Said hunter looked up from a page on knife wounds, "Well, they had calmed down over time, but one cropped up at least once a week."

Gabriel looked to Cas, sitting at the end with Alex perched in his lap, tiny, pudgy hands moving over the glass he could reach.

"When he was with you, how often did he have nightmares?"

He looked thoughtful, "About once a month. They'd calmed down a lot over a year, and I feel that he was thankful his ordeal was over,"

"Yeah, I was." Dean replied gruffly, looking at them all briefly before dropping his head to read again.

"Well. It's not that. His amnesia didn't come from a head wound, so what does that leave?" Bobby asked.

"It's sometimes from disease." Sam said, thoughtfully. Dean wasn't diseased, though, as both Gabe and Cas attested to.

"There's also drug or alcohol abuse, but I know Dean's not a druggie."

"I don't know, he did look a bit spaced before," Gabriel said, feigning suspiciousness, "He does like a drink, though."

"Dean is not an alcoholic." Castiel replied, glaring at Gabriel.

"I know, I was just saying. Try to lighten up a bit, Cas."

The angel's response was a darkening glower, and Gabriel was right in his instincts to turn back to Sam and Bobby.

"There's also stress. But Dean's not been stressed out lately, has he?" Bobby asked.

"No," Cas said, tilting his head to look at Dean, "We've been perfectly happy together."

Dean swallowed, feeling Cas' intense gaze on him, but he refused to look up. He knew what that sentence meant. They'd been happy. He had been happy. And he'd ruined it by waking up differently to how he should.

"Okay. So it's not stress, and it's not down to substance abuse. Dean's not diseased in any way, and he's not injured." Bobby recounted, still flipping through pages of books, "That leaves alternate realities and dimensions."

"We've covered it, Bobby," Dean replied, looking at the old hunter, "Gabriel checked me out, and it fucking hurt, too. I've not been sent anywhere I shouldn't be."

"Did it occur to you to check for demonic interference?" Bobby said, closing the book he had in front of him.

"I didn't even check for that," Gabriel admitted. "But it didn't feel like it. Angels are quite sensitive to demonic presences."

"I had no inkling of demonic involvement either, Gabriel. It didn't feel like that."

"Well do you want to check? We can strap Deano down again and attack his head?"

"No. You hurt last time, I'm not letting you near me again."

"No pain, no gain, Dean! Where's your sense of adventure? We're trying to help you out and you're protesting like a little girl."

Dean's mouth flapped open and closed like a fish, but he had no response. How dare Gabriel call him a girl? He was a man, and he'd just been insulted by an angel most commonly depicted in entertainment as female.

"I'll pull some strings. Let me make a summon, and we'll see if we still can't find anything."

"Summon? You're going to summon a demon?" Dean asked, placing his hands on the table. Bobby stood, glaring down at Dean.

"Don't stop me, son. This is a serious issue that needs sorting and you're getting your panties in a twist over something trivial?"

"No! It's not 'something trivial,' this is a demonic summoning we're on about."

Gabriel distracted Dean again, "You're still bitching like a girl. I bet you secretly cross-dress when Cas isn't looking."

The hunter rounded on Gabriel in fury, "What?" He hissed, flexing his hands like he wanted to strangle Gabriel. Bobby saw the opportunity and left the dining table, stalking to the upstairs library where he could summon in peace.

"Yeah, you heard me. You're a freaking girl. When I spoke to you the other day, you were so pleased that you and Cas had hit the one year mark, and you were glad that Alex was growing fine. Now, you're all hung up that everything's changed."

"Well yeah," Dean argued back, "I went to bed yesterday and forgot over a year's worth of memories. It's going to fuck you up in the head a little."

"Dean," Cas said, voice as calm as ever. His words seemed to slice through Dean's anger, "Don't listen to Gabriel. He's trying to goad you. Rise above it. Gabriel, I expected better of you. You know more than anyone how hard this is going to be for Dean, and for me. Please do not aggravate the situation."

"Sorry, Cas." Gabriel apologised, lowering his head, "I'm just annoyed that he doesn't remember your epic love affair."

Castiel gave his brother an enigmatic smile, one that really used his eyes rather than his lips. "All that matters is he's safe. I can allow changes to be made for now."

"Oh brother," Gabriel rolled his eyes, "I forgot how mushy the pair of you were together. You thought Sam and I were bad; Dean, you my friend was a walking cliché."

"Although I don't remember any of it." He retorted. It was strange to hear them talking of events that involved him but he didn't remember. It was like they were talking about someone entirely different. Had he really changed that much in a year and a half? Perhaps it was Castiel's influence on him.

He was interrupted from speaking again by voices in the hallway. He looked over to see Bobby walk in, followed by none other than the one demon Dean swore he'd kill on sight; Crowley.

"What the fuck? You?"

"It's nice to see you again, too, Dean. Perhaps we should have a drink at some point." Crowley smirked at Dean, who saw red.

"I don't remember allowing you access to this house. According to Cas, this is his house as much as it is mine. I don't want you here, demon."

"You damn idjits! I called him here because he may be able to help. Demons can take away memories from people sometimes, if they're a high ranking demon."

"Exactly. I thought I'd help out Robert here by helping you. I'm surprised, Dean; don't you want to know who may have tampered with your memories?"

Dean clenched his jaw. He wanted nothing more than to go over and shoot the damn demon, but he made a pretty good argument. He was adverse to allowing the demon entry into his head, but he knew that it would be necessary. He didn't like it, not one bit. Seriously, how many more supernatural beings were going to invade his head today?

"Fine. You do anything you shouldn't, and I'll shoot you myself."

"I'm sure there'd be an angel that would try to kill me first," Crowley replied drily, burying his hands in the pockets of his trousers, "But you're more than welcome to try."

He smirked, a softer one this time that looked more like a smile then anything. It was unnerving. Had Crowley been in his forgotten life?

"Bobby, can I just ask why you're still in contact with him?"

"I'm not really," He replied, shrugging his shoulders coolly, "I summon him when he's needed; when I need information."

"But you're not cut; you're not bleeding anywhere. You really want me to believe that?"

"Yes, Dean, you stupid idjit. You have to believe it because it's the truth. What he learns in Hell is his own prerogative, but I don't go out of my way to speak to him."

Crowley merely stared at Dean, as if willing him to challenge Bobby's word. Dean knew that the old hunter was lying, blatantly so, but he was willing to put on a brave face if it meant getting to the root of his problem.

He sat himself back down, not really sure when he had stood up. He seemed almost lost, unsure of what to do. He observed Crowley and Gabriel staring at each other, the demon moving on from him. If he didn't know any better, he would say the pair of them were communicating. They were like wolves, willing to work together. He wasn't sure if Crowley had been in his previous life a lot, but judging by the fact that the angels and Sam seemed to have no problem with him suggested that he had been around. Or maybe they were mature enough to endure this little visit.

He turned to face Alex, still snuggled in Cas' lap. He was eyeing the demon with curiosity, but not fear. They'd met before, however brief it may have been.

It angered Dean, more than he cared to admit it. He was a freaking demon; they could never be trusted. No matter what they told you. Still, Crowley was the only demon that seemed able to help with his memory problem. By default, he would have to allow Crowley a small view of his life, and the annoyance he felt at being helpless.

"Okay, Dean. Here's how it's going to work. I'm going to take a look around, see if there's anything even faintly demonic in that empty head of yours. If there is, I can work out who it is. If not, then we're back to square one."

Dean nodded, feeling himself tense up again. The demon stepped over, as smart as ever in his expensive, pristine suit.

He placed two fingers by Dean's temple, then he was exploring.

He was brief, to say the least. It was a cursory sweep, one that felt like a minor headache that went as soon as it was felt. It was nothing like the angels, but it was different to a possession, too. It was... empty. Like someone had poked him.

Crowley stepped away.

"There's nothing even near demonic. He's just simply lost his memory. It's the only thing I can think of."

"Thanks, Crowley." Bobby said, pushing the books away from him in irritation.

"I guess we're just going to have to deal with it. Have him see if he can remember things over time, and maybe we can help him remember?" Sam said, playing with a plastic toy Alex had thrown.

"It's going to take a while," Cas agreed, "But if it means we can get his memory back, then time is the only weapon we have."

* * *

><p><em>Oh God, this chapter is so long! The next one's not going to be as long, but I couldn't cut this down. I just want to add that Jess is alive in this fic. She should get a mention somewhere, but I wanted to let you know that.<em>

_The novel Sam's on about, 'Remember Me' is a book by Sophie Kinsella. I'm not usually one for sappy novels, since I like sci-fi and horror, but I really loved this book. It's got a similar theme to the plot in this fanfiction, so it was kinda like a mention. I forget if there's anything else I need to add... _


	5. Alexis

**Helping Hand**

**- Daianta**

I don't own Supernatural! *Cries*

_Hello again! Daianta here. I hope you're all enjoying it as much as I love writing this. It's been an easy process to write, and I've got a whole plan to follow, so I know what to write._

_To the reviewer who mentioned about the grammar mistake at the start of the last chapter; I'm British, and that's how we pronounce it. :)_

_This is going to be another long AN, so you can miss it, if you want. I just want you all to know I've really loved your reviews, and I'm really enjoying university._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Five: Alexis<strong>

_Word Count: 4,892_

Let's face it; Dean was totally, utterly, completely screwed. He had no idea how he had lost his God forsaken memory, and he was now forced to live with that until he got them back. The Archangel/Trickster Gabriel wasn't involved, Cas and Gabriel had proven that. Nor was it an evil demon, as Crowley had found out. It wasn't even something mundane like a brain injury, no, because two angels and a demon had showed the world just how healthy Dean's brain was.

_Stress_. It could all be down to stress. From what, Dean didn't know. He was stressed out now, but he wasn't entirely sure if that was going to worsen an already bad situation.

For the time being, he had passed the time playing with Alex while the others had done some brain-storming.

Annoyingly, Crowley had stayed, and had obviously tried to help Dean. Why, he would never know, but he would endure it for now. A demon never did anything without expecting to gain something for himself, and the Crossroads Demon was no exception.

Castiel, for the most part, had been quiet. His outburst earlier about wanting the old Dean back seemed to have sapped the strength from him, and he leaned against the table, arms folded, head resting on top of them. Gabriel had given him quiet reassurances, while Crowley had patted him on the shoulder, once. Sam and Bobby had delved into reasons as to why Dean would lose his memory, and who would want him to lose it. If they had done it to make Dean a less efficient hunter they had failed, and would know about it if Dean ever got the chance to kill whoever had done such a thing.

Gabriel slammed his hands on the table in irritation. "This is getting us nowhere. I'm hungry, too."

"No one's stopping you from eating, Gabriel." Cas replied, voice slightly muffled. He was looking at Gabriel, piercing blue eyes trained on his brother's chocolate orbs.

"Yeah, I know. Hey, maybe some of us should look in the local library. It'll be open now; it's after two."

"I think that's alright," Sam said, "Who'll go?"

"I think Crowley should come with me. We'll be able to work through everything a lot quicker, if you catch my drift."

Dean looked over. Angels and demons working together never ended well. He knew that Gabriel would win against the demon hands down, and wished for it. Crowley got on his nerves; he always wanted everything for himself. He'd helped them during the Apocalypse, but for his own safety. _Self__preservation_. It was selfish.

Still, he wouldn't complain if it was a good deed for once. Hah, as if demons knew what that word meant.

"Fine, Gabriel. I'll come with." His English accent clashed with Gabriel's Southern drawl, but neither of them seemed to mind. "I think there's a lot we need to talk about."

"That we do. We'll take it in turns. Just remember to be quiet; it's humiliating for an Angel of the Lord to get kicked out of a library."

Smirking, Crowley stood. "I'll see to it you keep quiet."

Both of them blinked out of existence, leaving Dean with the weird sensation of a sudden pressure change. That left Dean, Bobby, Sam and Castiel at the table, sitting in silence. The books on the table were no longer necessary, and were piled up and cast aside. The sun was high in the sky; it filtered through the open blinds of the dining area, and flooded the table with light.

Everyone was deep in thought, silent with the exception of Alex, who, as a child, was making as much noise as possible. His pudgy hands opened and closed for Dean, who looked panic-stricken.

"Relax, Dean. He knows you, that's all." Sam said, bouncing the boy on his knee, causing him to shriek out in laughter.

"Yeah, I know. I'm worried, though. I don't know him, even if he does know me."

"I have a plan. Do you and Cas wanna take Alex to the park? Bobby and I can get researching here. It's really to give us some space. We'll get less done with Alexis here."

"Besides, being with him might help you remember." Bobby added, adding a sympathetic smile to his words.

"Yeah," Sam agreed, "It'll be good for you."

"I'm okay with that, Sam." Cas said, moving to sit up in his seat. He looked less tired now, probably happy with the fact it was going to be just him and Dean, plus Alex, but he was only a baby. "It means Dean can bond with Alexis, too."

Dean watched, poker-face in play as Cas stood up and moved into the kitchen. He heard a cupboard open and close, followed by a rustling sound.

"What'cha doing, Cas?" Dean asked, staring intently in front of him. To anyone else, he appeared to be trying to listen in on what was happening in the kitchen. He just didn't want to look like he cared too much.

"I'm getting Alex a snack. He ate a little while ago, but he might be hungry again soon. Bear in mind we don't know how long they're going to want us out of the house..."

"Yeah, agreed." Dean said.

Sam handed Alex to him, and sauntered off to search for his jacket.

"Damn, we forgot the pram. I'll call Gabe and get him to click it over."

"I'm sorry, what? 'Click it over?'" He asked, looking at his brother, confused.

"His angel mojo, Dean." Sam huffed, rolling his eyes. They looked like they were going to pop out of his head with the force of it, "He can teleport it from home to here."

Dean smiled, "I want to see what your house looks like."

Sam grinned, "It looks like a mall at the moment, with everything everywhere. But I'll show you sometime, only if you promise to not get mad at Gabriel all the time. You know what he's like."

"He can be an ass at times, Sammy. But he cares for you, so I can allow that."

Dean had a wry smile that Sam missed, searching for his jacket that was behind him.

In a way, Dean was glad. Sam would have probably gloated or something, or smirked in a way that reeked of Gabriel, and he wouldn't allow that. Dean was a proud man, and he wouldn't have Sam calling him out on becoming soft. Even if he was happy for his brother's blooming family.

Castiel took the opportunity to summon him into the kitchen, to help pack a few things. He procured a bag from the bigger bag Sam left behind the sofa, and the elder Winchester loaded two bottles; one filled and the other empty, into it. There was also a bag of fresh fruit slices and a few chocolate bars, small enough for little hands to eat. Cas completed the bag by adding a set of tissues and a couple of cartons of sugary drinks.

"I'm sorry, Dean," Cas said, almost whispering, breaking the awkward silence between the two of them. He was interested in the contents of the bag, rather than looking at Dean. Perhaps he was embarrassed; or still remotely angry.

"It's just... It is hard, you understand. One day, everything's normal... The next, I am unable to heal you of an injury you have impossibly sustained. My brother cannot heal you, nor can a demon work out what's wrong. I apologise, Dean."

He quieted down, and Dean clapped a hand on his shoulder. "There's nothing to apologise about; it's not your fault, Cas. We'll work it out, I've managed to get over worse injuries."

Castiel flinched underneath him, and Dean, although he couldn't understand why, saw himself back in the hospital, hooked up to wires that fed him and breathed for him. When he was stuck out of his body. And again, when his heart 'broke' fighting the Rawhead. He didn't want to think about that; someone had died for him.

"I just do not understand. Gabriel and I have seen a lot, but this is something new."

"We'll see how it pans out. Hey – Keep searching, maybe something will come up."

Dean removed his hand to close the bag, and pulled it over his shoulder. "C'mon, we should get going, give them a chance to look for something."

He entered the living room as Sam spoke to his phone. He stood, in the space between the dining room table and the sofa, one arm on his hip. He had one leg kicking out in front of him, scuffing trainers on laminated flooring.

"Yeah, we forgot the pram. Uh-huh. Naw, just click it over or something. Dean and Cas are gonna take Alex to the park." Sam looked up at Dean, "Of course I trust Dean, Gabe. It's not like he's by himself, he has another angel with him, you know." A roll of his eyes followed by a snort, "Yeah, whatever Gabe. Alright, you do that."

He pulled the phone away from his ear, turning to speak to Dean. He was interrupted, however, by a pram appearing out of nowhere, almost on top of Dean. He puffed up with anger, ready to pounce on the offending object and beat it to a proverbial pulp when Cas quietly reminded him that Gabriel wasn't there to aim correctly. Dean gritted his teeth and hissed to Sam, "Tell Gabriel that I'm going to kick his ass when he gets back."

Sam laughed, putting the phone back to the side of his head, "He says he'll be waiting."

He said his goodbyes and hung up, looking up again to Dean and Cas. Put your shoes on and leave then. We've got so much to get through."

It was a good thing that Cas was going with Dean. He had no idea where their house was, let alone know the route to the park and back. Evidentially, it was in Sioux Falls, but he had no idea where about. Could be anywhere.

Dean sighed. He hoped this little adventure would go well.

Gabriel slid the screen of his phone shut and looked at it, imperceptibly narrowing his eyes at it.

"So. Do you want to tell me something, Gabriel?"

The Archangel looked up to see Crowley sitting opposite him, elbows resting on the edge of the table, backs of his hands holding his head up. He didn't seem like the kind of person to slouch around, or sit so _improperly_. Then again, the world was full of surprises.

"I don't know what you mean. Care to pass me the end box? I've got more stuff to pass along."

"I know you were in Dean's head at some point. Not here, though. You haven't taken his memories, but you've done something to him."

"What? I've done nothing to him. Why would I want to spoil my little brother's happiness?"

The demon sat back in his chair, hands moving to rest in his lap. He exhaled deeply, maintaining eye contact with his polar opposite.

"You and Dean do not get along. He's a dick, you know."

"Yeah, I know. He has good qualities, too, but they're hidden under so many layers of angst and self-loathing that no one can get to them."

He grinned, taking the box when the demon offered it. As blasphemous as it sounded, Gabriel liked Crowley. Sure, in any other situation he would go out of his way to remove his existence from the universe, like scraping filth from his boot, but Crowley had an air to him that reeked of knowledge and entertainment. Both of them enjoyed toying with people, in a similar fashion. Gabriel killed humans, Crowley killed whoever came into his shadow. Not all people, but most. (The fact that he was still in contact with Bobby was something that would not be spoken of).

"I feel that both Winchesters have problems that cannot be dealt with by the normal therapists. Unfortunately, angels do not offer such free services, and demons would rather kill then heal others. Especially those Winchesters."

"Aww, come on," Gabe smiled, shuffling papers in his hand, "They have calmed down over the past year or so. Give me some credit, I had to look after Sam after he rose from the cage."

"Yeah, yeah." Crowley replied, beginning to sift through his own box of archival knowledge.

It was quiet for a moment as both of them worked, and the demon kept looking at Gabriel over the top of his paper.

Gabriel was not a patient man.

"What?"

"I _know_ you did something. I don't know what, though. And that's annoying."

"It was probably left-overs from when Cas and I checked his head. I was pretty thorough."

"And Dean's very confused. Nothing new there."

"No," Gabriel said, thoughtful. _He'd__better__not__be__onto__me..._

"Still, I don't know why you'd do anything like this. Perhaps it was just residue. It seems unlikely."

"Grace is left over, Crowley. You know that it is an angel's pure grace that destroys demons, much like holy water."

"Yes, but it didn't burn me. It was uncomfortable."

"Hey! Maybe you've just grown used to me. Perhaps you've gone soft."

Crowley sent a glare towards Gabriel, who brushed it off like one of Sam's legendary 'Serious Bitchfaces.'

"I don't believe so, Angel. As a demon it is part of my duty to attack and kill holy things."

"And what, this is your day off or something?"

Gabriel looked at Crowley incredulously, and he smiled back innocently. Or not so innocently, if anyone in the library knew who was sitting in the crisp Armani suit.

"Maybe."

The universe was a strange thing, really. If you looked at it head-on, it seemed screwed over, completely upside down. However, if one was to stare at it with a tilted head, they would begin to understand how so many things managed to co-exist with each other. The people in the library around them: the elderly couple anxiously poring over gardening books, the teenage couple 'studying,' the librarian quietly telling off a group of rowdy people; had no idea of the power that sat in their midst. Or how it silently fucked the world over. An angel sat in one chair, a demon in the other, managing to live in each other's shadows without tearing the universe apart; without destroying the people around them in their haste to kill each other. They looked like they were long-time friends. If only the public knew what bubbled under people's skin.

"Do you think Dean will ever get his memory back, Bobby?" Sam said suddenly, shutting a heavy tome that he had been reading through. He anxiously scrubbed his hands with his face, a growl low in his throat. It was time consuming and plain _boring_ searching through books when his brother was out there, unknowing of the last year. With his _son_, while his boyfriend played gossip with a highly respected demon.

The world was screwed.

Sam looked and sounded worried when he pulled his hands away from his face, tired looking. Bobby knew that it had nothing to do with baby Alex. He observed Sam fidget, fiddling with dog-eared leaflets strewn over the glass table.

"It might," He replied gruffly, pulling a sheet of yellowing paper towards him, away from the younger man's grasp, "Trust the idjit to lose his memory. Of all the things to damage while on a hunt..."

He trailed off, mind moving away from the topic to quickly skim the surface of the hand-written parchment. The penmanship was atrocious, seriously lacking in grammar and common sense. It reminded Bobby of a child's writing.

"It's his own brain that packs in." Sam finished, strangely reminiscent of the time another part of Dean's body gave out. That was in the past. It was unfair though. While Sam struggled with temptations such as demon blood, suffered the loss of far-away friends, it was Dean who truly was injured; numerous scars and memories that were vicious and cruel, parts of himself giving up along the way.

"Yeah. Strange, isn't it?" Bobby said, glancing up. It was like he had read Sam's mind, "Your other half don't know anything, does he?"

Sam shook his head, "Nope. Don't think so. It seems your other half has the same problem." It was a catty remark that would earn him a clip around the ear when he least expected it, but it was worth it to watch Bobby's face fall like that.

"What'cha mean, Sam?" He said, cagily, almost a hiss, "What the hell are you thinking, boy?"

Sam raised his hands in defence, shaking his head, "Woah! Calm down. It's just that you and Crowley have been spending more time than usual together, okay? It was just a statement; it didn't mean anything. Look," He sighed, placing his hands flat on the table in front of him, "I don't care what goes on between you two; I'd be a hypocrite if it bothered me. Alex is perfectly comfortable around him and everything, but you know what Dean's like..."

"You don't have to say anything, Sam. There's nothing going on between me and Crowley and I sure as Hell ain't gonna let Dean dictate to me."

"I just don't want to ruin whatever friendship the two of you have." He replied meekly, placing his palms together on the table.

"As much as I appreciate your concern," He said, playing with the white cordless phone in his hand, "I'm fine. The only time I really talk to him is when he has information for me, or I have a message to pass along to him." He almost said 'need him' instead of 'talk to him' but prevented himself. He hated sounding needy, and to say that involving a demon was too low on his personal scale.

Still meek, Sam said that it was okay, and went back to his papers. They were journals; most of it on medical history that dated to the 20th century; filled with normal doctor's practice. There were a few pages that dated further back; there was an apparent 'spell' for clotting blood.

He breathed in the scent of musty books and paper, closing his eyes in almost ecstasy at the smell. He was a researcher; even if he disliked the monotony at times, the smell of old books excited him more than most things in the world.

Alex squirmed in Dean's arms, eager to explore the world around him and see everything he could. He had been a mild child, sitting in Dean's lap for a play on the swings, happy to clap his hands and shriek and rock himself back and forth in bliss. Dean could feel himself falling in love.

Alex was almost crawling, too, so Dean had to watch out that his nephew didn't place anything untoward in his mouth, since he was also in the teething process.

Dean found himself scrutinising his nephew again. Up close, he could see the highlights in his hair that reminded him of Sam's natural hair colour, although most of it was covered up with darker hair. He wondered what hair colour the surrogate was. Alex had green-brown eyes that seemed awfully bright. No, it was innocence. Dean hadn't seen it for a long time, and it pulled at his heart. He was always trying to save people, even when they couldn't be saved.

Dean stepped away from the swings and cradled Alexis close to him, making his way back to the bench where Castiel was sat, the pram facing him. He was slightly hunched over, hands clasped between his knees. He was staring at the ground, eyes unfocused.

"Hey, Cas." Dean said, almost apologetic, standing awkwardly in front of his angelic companion. Alex squirmed to look over Dean's shoulder, and he patted the child's back. He responded with childish noises, not close to speaking any time soon.

"Dean," He replied, looking up to the hunter with a small smile in his eyes. He sat back and shifted over the seat a little, allowing Dean to sit on the end. It felt like old times, but he knew that Castiel needed to get things off his chest.

"Back at... home," Dean paused briefly, looking out at the field spreading around them, "When I told you that you don't need to apologise, I remembered being back in hospital. Twice. Why?"

Cas swallowed, head facing forwards, watching a couple walk their small dog. He turned slightly to face Dean, still not looking at him face on.

"Because I was there. I heard the angels say you were injured, and I had to check for myself. Even then, you were important to me."

He finally looked at Dean, sadness and longing in his bright, enigmatic blue eyes.

"You could have healed me though, right?"

He shook his head, "No, Dean, I couldn't. You were not supposed to know of my – our – existence at that point. When you were stuck out of your body, I made sure you never saw me. I just needed to know you were safe. As for the second time, I sat with you while you slept. I kept you safe."

"Yet you didn't heal me. Why? Someone died because of me!" Dean growled, almost lost to his emotions again.

"Reapers are independent from us. I will say this, though; I would not have let you die if the Reaper tried to reap you."

"But one did, do you not remember? It was Sam who managed to stop him."

"I ensured that subtle changes allowed Sam to get to the woman before the Reaper could reap you. If things had become dangerous, I would have intervened."

"You really care that much about me, Cas?"

He smiled in response, nodding gently, "I feel as if my whole existence was created for you, Dean. My Father does not create angels freely; each of us has a purpose. To begin with, I had no purpose. Obviously, humanity had not been created yet. But when Father did create them, and they borne souls, I _knew_. It was just a waiting game until I met you."

Dean didn't know how to respond. Telling someone that they were designed for you was strange. People didn't do that. Well, Cas wasn't exactly a man; he was using someone else as a front. To say that it was a waiting game until they met, that the _universe_ had positioned them for a reason was mind-blowing.

He didn't know how he felt about Cas. Sure, he was a friend and all, but was that it? Yes, Dean, it is. He was not gay, not at all. But it was interesting hearing stories about himself from another point of view. He'd missed a year and a half, he had to work to remember.

"Cas, tell me about how we got together."

"You had been drinking. It was common for you to go drinking almost every night, with friends or alone, it didn't matter. Sam was worried about you; your life had begun to sort itself out and you seemed determined to shatter it to pieces. Gabriel said that it would be good if I was to go along to fetch you from the bar early."

"And then what?"

Cas smiled; a proper one that seemed cute on him. He never smiled enough.

"I entered the bar to find you telling this woman to leave you alone. You said that you weren't interested in her. So I came over to see what was the problem. The woman asked me if you were gay; I told her no. It was no secret then that I was in love with you, but you seemed determined to ignore it.

"You stood up, pushed the woman back and grabbed my shoulder. You said 'Back away, I told you I wasn't interested in you. I'm more into him.' Which meant me."

Dean was shocked that he would say that out loud. It wasn't him, though, surely? Obviously it was, if he wasn't a part of some alternate universe.

"So I took you home. You were really drunk, and you kept staggering around. I hadn't seen you so drunk before. When I asked you why you had been drinking so much, you told me that you had worked something out. You asked me to sober you up, which I did obligingly. Then... Then you kissed me, Dean."

He pressed a finger to Dean's temple, and he felt himself move. There was a screen in his head, that was playing something he had so see, it was no good to talk about it.

"_I worked something out, Cas. Something big."_

"_What would that be Dean? You know people are worried about you..."_

"_They have no need to be." _

_Dean smiled, moving away from the angel a little. "You know, I'm worried about this."_

"_What, Dean? You should have no fear in front of me."_

_Dean rounded on Cas with almost inhuman speed; a trait that hunters picked up over time. He pinned the angel against the wall, hands either side of his head._

"_Dean?" Cas said, curious with a tinge of excitement._

_Dean didn't answer, but he moved his hand to cup Castiel's face. He could see a vein in the angel's neck move, beating faster with exhilaration now. Dean ran a thumb across Cas' lower lip._

"_Cas..." He whispered, breath ghosting on the angel. He leaned in, pressed gentle lips to Cas' with closed eyes._

_Castiel didn't move, almost afraid that if he did, the illusion would shatter._

_Dean pulled back, looking confused. He searched Cas' eyes for something, but didn't seem to find it. He faltered, ready to pull back and retreat, when Cas took hold of his shoulders and pressed them together again, mouths finding each other._

_It was clumsy; Cas' first true kiss, but they moulded together in the darkness of a hallway, an onset of emotions washing over the pair of them like a flood._

Dean widened his eyes. The image of him in Cas' memory was exactly like him, exactly how he'd act, dress, move. He now wished he hadn't lost his memory; he didn't want to cause Cas unnecessary pain as he had already done. He realised, as the angel answered his phone, that not once had he thanked the angel, made him feel comfortable or just simply sat with him; like two friends would do at some point.

Cas hung up the phone, turning to Dean again.

"Look, Cas. I realised something. I've never thanked you. I'm sorry for not doing so. But thank you, Cas. This is hard on you, I know, and I'm really sorry."

"It's okay, Dean. I know where you're coming from, but we have a job to do."

"What?"

"You think we're just going to sit by all the time? Bobby received a call from someone who said people are going missing around a lake. They're looking into it now."

"What do you think it is? Spirit? Demon?"

"No demon. Crowley's been on the case, too. He seems to think it's more... tangible."

"So people are just drowning?"

"Dear Lord, he's a bit dim at the moment, isn't he?" An English accent spoke over Dean's thoughts, causing him to look up angrily.

Crowley was smirking, head tilted to the side. "Just because he said it was tangible doesn't mean it's a normal thing. We have an idea of what it is."

"And why are you here, Crowley? Did Gabriel burn you or something?"

The demon laughed, "Oh no. We got on like a house on fire, love. I'm here because once you give Alex back to Sam and Gabriel, we're going hunting together. You, me and Castiel."

Dean groaned, "Tell me you're joking. I'm not going, especially since I can't trust you to have my back."

"Oh please." Crowley growled, rolling his eyes. He moved aside to allow Castiel take Alex from Dean, and buried his hands in his pockets. "It should be me who should watch my own back. Going hunting with an angel and a poorly efficient hunter? 'Accidents happen,' do they not?"

"Yeah, I'd love to have an accident involving you, Crowley." Dean hissed, standing up.

"Bite me, Dean." He replied, still grinning. He was enjoying the banter, when all Dean wanted to do was rip his head off.

"I wouldn't think that, Dean." He said, "There are people that would kill you if you killed me."

"Yeah? Like who?"

"Robert Singer for one. He'd be very pissed off if you killed me, love."

Dean stared, "You're joking me."

"Afraid not."

"Dean, Bobby relies on Crowley for information. He's the reason we're going on this hunt."

Castiel was looking between the hunter and the demon, watching their stalemate reach its peak. Cas knew that there would be millions of questions directed at Bobby, and Dean's reactions would be amusing as well as awkward. Cas knew that there was nothing 'going on' between the old hunter and Crowley, but Dean would be pissed off with it.

"Fine. But I'm gonna talk to him about this little arrangement. Something's not right here."

Crowley looked even more amused; his eyes were positively glittering.

"You do that, Dean. Now, can we please get a move on?"

* * *

><p><em>Okay! This chapter killed me. I hate it so much. .<em>

_I don't hate it, it just didn't want to write itself. This took me longer than the others to do, and I was tempted to just skip this chapter and come back to it later._

_I really love the hate relationship that Crowley and Dean have. I don't know why... I'm a sucker for anger xD_


	6. Kappa Queen

**Helping Hand**

**- Daianta**

I do not have any rights to Supernatural. This means I don't own characters or actors, either. If I did, you would never see Misha or Richard out in public. They'd be tied up to my bed. Ahem. I'll move on...

_So, chapter six! At the moment, I've written just over 21,800 words. Which seems like a lot when they're together. When each chapter is separate, it doesn't look like 21,000 odd words. O_O_

_Big up to Lozi for looking through the first few chapters! She spotted a few mistakes for me to correct, so thankies, lovely!_

**Chapter Six – Kappa Queen**

_Word Count: 6,300_

They were dealing with a group of water monsters. No, water monsters from bloody Japan. It was unusual to hear of them migrating from Japan, but evidentially, they had done so. Although not necessarily supernatural beings, they were killing people by drowning them, and it was their jobs as hunters to take care of the situation. Dean hated being known as the clean-up crew. It was in a sense, degrading towards his ego.

The man who had called Bobby, some guy known as Rex, had tried to take them out, but had been overpowered and driven from the lake that they had been spotted in. It was a bonus then, that Bobby understood Japanese.

Dean was sat in the dining chair by the window, relaxing against the back of the chair. On his left was Sam, holding Alex, and Crowley was sat on Dean's right. Next to Sam was Gabriel; opposite him was Bobby, with Cas at the other end of the table. He seemed more interested in watching Dean then studying what they had to do. Sam and Gabriel were not taking part, not now they had a child to look after. Well, Gabe was looking after Alex; Sam was still focused on sorting out Dean's head. Bobby said he was getting too old to be hunting water children, and had decided to send Crowley in his place.

"So what exactly are we dealing with?" Dean asked, looking over at the book Bobby had placed in front of him. The ex-hunter was following the symbols with a finger, lips miming the words.

"And how do we kill it?"

"Well, it appears that an angelic presence would not kill them; they're not a dark creature normally."

"What is it, then?"

Bobby looked up, poking a finger in Dean's direction, "It's a group of Kappa, son. Pretty damn infested too, from the sounds of it."

"Weapons?"

"They hate loud noises, and metal objects. You could use guns to scare them away, herd them together. Any sort of blade will kill them, then. Electricity would be good, too, but you'll be too far away from a source to crisp 'em up."

"Intel, please, Robert. It's not like I hunt Kappa all the time, you know." Crowley said, sounding slightly frustrated.

"Alright!" Bobby conceded, putting his hands up in defeat.

"Kappa are said to come in a variety of colours, most commonly green, blue and yellow. They have turtle shells on their backs, and they have supposed 'magical powers.' Early on in lore they were depicted as snakes or eels, in extreme cases dragons. They can be malevolent, but most are shy creatures that hide from people.

"When captured they can be made to work similar to slaves, unable to break a pledge for risk of dying."

"So they're fighting back against their masters?"

"No, I think they're refusing to make a pledge to whoever summoned them over here." Sam said, looking to Bobby for confirmation.

"Looks like it. We need to find out who summoned them. They won't bring more Kappas over, so we'll wipe them out and burn whatever information they have."

"Don't Kappa have saucers on their heads?" Sam spoke again, this time with a question. Dean looked at him in confusion, unsure how he should respond to his brother's question. It sounded stupid, but he had never encountered one before.

"Yes," Gabriel said, "They have a depression in their heads that hold water; this is what gives them power. The best way to render them powerless is to empty the water from their heads."

"So we'll be pushing over a group of midget mutant ninja turtles?" Dean asked. Trust him to add an obscure reference to a kids' TV show.

Castiel looked confused, "Kappa are not ninja, Dean. Nor are they true turtles. They're certainly not mutants..."

"No, Cas. It's from... Oh, never mind."

"We won't be exactly, Dean," Bobby told him, referring to the text again, "They are courteous creatures who have to bow when they are bowed to. Your best option is to bow to them all then blow them to pieces when they're unable to drag you under. Trust me, at full strength they're drowning horses."

"Man, I don't want to be paying my respects to Kappa," Dean grumbled, moving to hold his chin with his hand, keeping his head up, "We should just go in, all guns blazing. I'm sure Crowley can get rid of any that I miss. Cas, too."

"Don't be so high and mighty, Dean," Bobby warned, glaring at him, "Kappa feed on blood like vampires, they're as competent in the water as water-spirits and they are petty thieves and rapists."

"So not very nice creatures then. Gives us an excuse to hack and slash." Dean looked amused, almost excited, and he realised that he actually wanted to take out the Kappa to stop his frustrations at losing his memory.

"Anything else we need to know?" Castiel asked, as deadpan as ever.

"They will beg for their arm back if you rip it off, and you can make a pledge with it to never harm anyone else again."

"Okay, this is now officially creepy. Can we just get this over with?" Crowley almost whined, as if bored by the whole prospect of spending time with Cas and Dean and their epic love-affair-that-wasn't.

"Yeah, yeah. Kick some Kappa butt or something," Gabriel said, looking and sounding wistful. Like he wanted to come with them. Dean understood; Gabriel was a Trickster, and the Kappa were infamous as tricksters, causing chaos whenever they felt like it.

"If you want, I'll bring you back a head or something nice," Crowley joked, winking at the archangel, who responded with a jovial laugh.

"You're like an excitable dog, you know that? Dean, you'd better get going."

"Yeah, wouldn't want your new pet to start humping your leg."

Dean's smirk grew as Crowley silently glared at him, but didn't say anything.

"Oh, Cas, where are the keys to my baby? I don't know where I usually put them..."

Before Castiel could answer, Gabriel clicked his fingers, and the keys appeared on the table. Dean looked like he wanted to cry in happiness, and picked them up gingerly, as if he didn't want to damage them.

The keys had grown, however, and Dean wanted to know the story behind each one. There were three keys in addition to the car key; he assumed one was for the house; one was for Sam and Gabriel's, but the other? He had no idea. Bobby, paranoid bastard that he was, wouldn't give out keys to anyone other than himself, and angels had a habit of simply turning up in his living room as if they owned the place.

"Okay, then. I suppose we should be on our way?"

"Dean, your jacket is in the hallway. I suggest you get it, because it is Winter outside." Cas was the voice of reason, he grumbled, smiling however.

Dean almost forgot that they were in the middle of December. Snow hadn't fallen yet which was bizarre in itself, but he assumed that it would start soon. It always did. He realised that it would be his first white Christmas with the people he cared about. Hopefully Ellen and Jo would join them, if they were still in his life, and he'd go the whole hog, if you will. He thought about calling Jessica, if he could find her, and invite her along. She and Sam had always had a good relationship even after they had parted, but looking at Gabriel and Alex, he knew that it wouldn't be the right thing. She probably would have moved on, or maybe had started her own family. Dean would ask Sam when he got back, and make arrangements to call Ellen and invite her and her daughter along.

He stepped out into the hallway to retrieve the leather jacket that he had missed, happy that even after a year and a half, he still had it. He pulled it on, stepping into his boots that had been left out there too. When he got back, after asking Sam about Jessica, he was going to get Cas to show him where all his stuff was.

Annoyed as he was at losing his memory, Dean was certain to get his head down and just get on with it. He was filled with questions, such as 'why me?' and 'how?' but they were for later. He would merely push them into a box with all the other mental issues he had and lock them away in his brain to dissect later, when he was free from distractions.

He backtracked and strode through the living room, passing the group at the dining table. He jingled the keys in his hand, looking between the angel and the demon.

"Are we gonna get moving? Don't want more people to drown..."

"No, Dean, we don't," Castiel agreed, moving from his position in the chair to stand with his human charge. Dean allowed Cas to move past him, and followed him through the kitchen, into the garage.

Out here, it was freezing. Absolutely, positively freezing. Being a stone room with no windows, it kept all the cold in like a freezer, magnifying it and making it feel ten times worse than it was outside. Dean stepped around the sleek, black Impala and opened the driver's door, smiling to himself when the door opened with its familiar creek. After his whole life had changed, the car was the only foothold he had on the world. She was his anchor.

He started the engine as Cas sat in the passenger's seat, and he was reminded about weapons. He had no idea what the interior of the trunk looked like, but he was determined to see if it was still in order.

He opened the boot and began to deliberate, eyes casting a critical eye over the back. He was concerned with the state of his trunk; half the weapons were missing or moved, as if carelessly tossed into the car. This was the only fault he had with this new life; it was as if he had given up on ensuring everything was in their rightful place. He moved those that were in the wrong place, suddenly feeling very anal in his actions; everything in the trunk had a rightful place that needed to be followed to the letter.

He sighed and shut it, tapping fingers against the shell of the car for a brief moment. On top of talking to Sam and getting Cas to show him where his stuff was, he was going to have a bloody good sort out of the trunk. Just him and his baby. Dean smiled, more confident about getting his memory back then he was just a few hours ago. He didn't mind that he had no idea who was dating who, or where his life had gone. People lost their memory all the time, he could cope with it.

He couldn't, however, cope with Crowley, as he turned around to see the demon leaning against the door frame of the garage. His arms were crossed against his chest, looking at Dean with amused curiosity.

"It's sad that a car makes you so happy." He commented, grinning as the smile fell from Dean's mouth.

"Man, screw you. I don't want to know what makes you happy. Probably cooking cats or drowning puppies."

"You have such a low opinion of me, Dean. If it pleases you, you wouldn't like what makes me happy. You wouldn't understand, not with that thick skull of yours."

He prevented Dean from commenting back by moving to seat himself in the back seat of the Impala, slamming the door.

Grumbling in annoyance, Dean manoeuvred around his baby and got into the driver's seat, glad it was already running. Cas was looking at him with mild curiosity, and the hunter brushed it off with a smile at his friend.

"Oh Christ, it's the dreaded 'Eye-fucking' stage. Can you please just drive us?"

Dean gave Crowley the finger as the garage opened, and he roared into the sunlight, feeling as if he hadn't spent enough time with the car.

Bobby had given Dean directions to the place; a community lot about a mile away that had a pond large enough to be a lake in the grounds. Rich families lived there, free from 'commoners' that lived around Sioux Falls. They were the sort of people that Dean hated with a passion; he hated those that saw themselves above others. It was a reason why he hated angels so much. Well, there were a few exceptions to the rule, but generally? Angels were self-appreciating bastards who had no qualms about using people to get the ultimate goal.

In a weird way, angels were closely related to demons. They all acted the same. Perhaps Dean was just bitter about it all, it didn't matter.

They were silent on the journey there. There wasn't really tension in the air, nor was it uncomfortable, they just didn't feel like talking to one another. Dean didn't need to focus on driving as much, and he was left to mull over what had happened.

Just this morning he had woken up unable to remember a year and a half, and now he was expected to go on a hunt with an angel who was in love with him and a demon he couldn't trust as far as he could throw him. He was supposed to be okay with that? No.

He was fine hunting with Cas; it was like old times. But it felt weird when Sam wasn't there, and whenever he glanced over, he saw Cas look away. The angel was watching him. He wasn't a freak show, dammit!

In reality, Dean wanted to break down and cry himself to sleep, then wake up and find it was all a bad dream. He couldn't cope not knowing where the past year had gone. He couldn't be dealing with being the mean one in a one-sided relationship; he didn't know if he could cope knowing he had been in a full relationship with another man. He wasn't gay, he respected Sam too much to hate homosexuals. It was just strange that he had been a part of it and hadn't remembered anything. He also couldn't cope with having a demon around constantly – What was Bobby playing at?

Dean saw everything in black and white. It was either right, or wrong. Demons = wrong. Saving as many people as possible = Right.

He swung another cursory glance at Cas. They hadn't really maintained much eye contact since their kiss in the early hours of the morning, and Dean felt kind of bad because of it. He didn't want to cause Cas pain, yet every second of every minute of every hour he was, by simply being alive and not remembering anything.

Cas was a _man_. He'd woken up in bed with another man, both of them naked. How had it felt? Evidentially he'd enjoyed it, otherwise he wouldn't have been with the angel for a year. He was curious, and that was never a good thing. Dean wasn't about to jump the poor man, nor was he going to force himself to do anything, but it was... odd. He had no recollection of sex, and for Dean, that was strange.

He forced his hands to stop shaking, locked his jaw and proceeded to stare out of the windscreen, watching rolling greens pass him by on either side. They were in the country now; wide, open fields that blended in to each other in a green monotony.

The fact was, they'd be at the place they needed to be in a few minutes. They had to sort out how to go in and kill everything.

"It's nice for you to finally say something, Dean." Agitated, Crowley was scowling out of the window. Dean felt violated. He'd read his mind, which meant the demon knew all about how he was feeling.

"Do you know how I'm feeling, Crowley?" Dean spat, looking at the mirror to glare at him.

"Obviously not. If you knew how I was feeling, you would have pissed off and left me to deal with it alone."

"That would have not ended well. You would have drunk yourself to oblivion or done something utterly reckless." Castiel interjected, concerned about Dean.

"Well I don't need a demon prowling around behind me!"

"Oh, get over yourself," the demon replied from the back seat, "I'm not here to attack you for once. I was asked to help you two out, so here I am."

"Doing a good deed for once? Please," Dean snorted, "Demons don't help humans. You make deals with them for their souls, then toss them into Hell. You only helped us originally because your life was in danger."

"And look where it landed me, Dean. I lost my position, the respect that I had _tortured_ for. In effect, I was banished from Hell. After Lucifer went back into the box, do you know what I went through getting my position back?"

"As the King of the Crossroads? My heart bleeds for you, it really does." His reply was sarcastic, laced with blatant hatred for the demon that was currently jumping on his last nerve.

There was a laugh from the back seat, and Dean gripped the wheel harder in anger, hunched over in his seat a little.

"At least I'm not the King of Hell. I'd drag your sorry arse back there faster than you could blink."

Dean pulled the car over, into the entrance of a pathway that signified the way to the house they needed to cleanse.

"Is that a threat?" His voice was quiet, curious.

Crowley's was softer, "I can make it. You know I have a Hellhound who just can't _wait_ to rip into you. As such, I promised your close friends that I would try to help out. Hence why I'm here."

Dean stared at the demon, and Cas could see the cogs working in his head.

"Please don't listen to him, Dean. Let's just get this over with before someone gets hurt."

"Listen to Angel-face, Dean. None of us like it, but as you so blatantly put it, 'saving people is a good thing.'"

Dean shut off the ignition and opened the door, "Stay out of my head, or I will shoot you."

"I'm positively shaking with fear."

Castiel shot the demon a look, almost bordering on a glare, and stepped out of the car also. Crowley joined them, Dean looking up at the large imposing house that loomed over the land around them.

"Do they know someone's coming?" He asked.

He turned around and Castiel vanished from the spot he was standing on, the air displacement washing over Dean. He was left alone with Crowley, and he wanted nothing more than to wipe the smug look from his face.

Dean busied himself with looking up at the house, and wondered where the lake was. The Impala wasn't small enough to fit in the narrow driveway, so they'd have to walk. The sides of the gate rose up like steep verges; preventing curious passers-by from staring into the compound as they drove past.

Cas appeared again in front of Dean, as impassive as ever.

"They know we're here. The gates should open."

Dean moved to grab a couple of metal swords from the trunk. He paused, before grabbing a handgun. Mutely, he passed another sword to Crowley, refusing to look him in the eye. He turned to offer one to Cas, but found he was holding the angel killing blade, looking peaceful while staring into the distance. He closed the boot while the electronic gates opened for them.

A young man was limping down the lane to meet them, and Dean realised this must have been the Rex guy who called Bobby. He looked very injured, a huge bite mark taken from his leg followed by a series of scratches over the rest of his body.

He was looking at Castiel like he was unsure how to react; as a hunter, he must have realised he was dealing with something supernatural.

"Winchester, right?" His voice was gruff, laced with pain.

"Yeah, I'm Dean."

"Heard you were good," He remarked, looking over Dean's shoulder to scope out Crowley.

Dean smirked, feeling big-headed, "I've been told that before."

"So who's your friend here?" He nodded at Castiel, "In a hunter's sense."

"I am an angel of the Lord." Cas replied humbly, tightening his grip on the sword in his hand.

"Well shit, Winchester. An angel and a demon? You've got some serious fuckin' issues."

"If it gets the job done, I'm not complaining."

Rex seemed to remember why they were there.

"Well come in, then. If Bobby trusts you three, I have no choice."

"So tell me what went on here." Dean asked, following the limping hunter.

"So I get a call from the lady who owns this house, right? She's a... friend. Said that her daughter had done something, and suddenly there's all these creatures in her grounds. Bear in mind this is a community; there are kids and all sorts here. They don't bring any harm to the occupants, so they leave them in the lake.

"Then kids start drowning. And adults, and horses. The daughter tries to stop it, gets shived by whatever these things are."

"So you went to check it out?"

"Yeah. Killed a few 'fore they overpowered me. Took a chunk out of my leg. Figured it was an emergency, called the first hunter in the neighbourhood."

"So here we are. How many of them are there?" It was Crowley who asked this time instead of Dean, and Rex was staring at him with thinly veiled hostility.

"He won't hurt you. At the moment he's like a dog on a lead."

Crowley didn't listen, and merely spun his sword around lazily.

"What, you make a deal or something? Restrain him?"

"Nope. Bobby seems to trust him enough to let him come out hunting with us."

The hunter nodded his head and turned away, "Well you better follow me. Get this over with."

Crowley hit Dean on the arm, "You weren't supposed to tell him that."

"Well how was I supposed to know?" He hissed, shrugging his shoulders.

Crowley gave Dean a disapproving look and took a step back, falling in line with Castiel. Dean moved up to Rex, and repeated Crowley's question to him.

"Prolly about thirty? There might be a lot more though."

"So they were summoned?"

"Yep. Destroyed the book meself, thinkin' that would make them go home. Didn't work."

Dean could see the lake up ahead, away from the big house and the little houses hidden behind it, in its shadow. There was movement, as if children were milling around by the lake. But there were no children on site anymore.

"We've got it from here, Rex. Get that leg checked out, yeah?"

"You sure you don't need any help? I know I'm getting old, but I can still shoot a gun."

"It's alright. Besides, I think metal swords will do more damage than bullets."

Rex bowed his head to Dean, "Good luck. I'll be back later, let yourselves out when you finish. If I find you dead, it's your own problem."

He began to backtrack down the path they had walked up, giving Cas and Crowley a wide space.

"He's a paranoid bastard, isn't he?" Crowley commented, watching the human saunter away.

"He appears to be hostile towards us, yes," Cas added, turning to look at the lake, "Shall we begin?"

Dean sighed as he sliced the blade into the nearest monster. Two had already fallen to him, and most still hadn't realised he was there. The creature lay writhing on the floor, beaked mouth open in a silent scream. It had slimy, green scales that glistened in the light and with every move it made. It grew weaker, no longer thrashing around. Dean did the sensible thing and cut its head off.

Their work would soon become ten times harder as Dean glanced over to Castiel. He was currently busy with two, hacking and slashing at them when they came too close.

There was a growling emanating from under the ground, vibrating the earth beneath Dean's feet. He assumed that they were going to pop out of the ground; but realised quickly that they were primarily water beings. He turned to see what the other two were doing. Castiel was standing, staring at the lake with his usual head tilt, sword hanging loose by his side. He looked like he was concentrating, listening for something. A little further from him kneeled Crowley, looking over a dead Kappa silently. The metal rod that he had carried was deposited on the floor, ready to be picked up when needed.

The rumbling stopped, the place now eerily quiet. Dean scuffed at the dirt with a heavy boot, tightening his grip. He knew instinctively, on a hunter's feeling, that they were coming for the three of them.

The wind whistled irrepressibly through trees in the background, hissing as the bitter cold washed over the three bodies. Dean wanted to shiver. He was under-dressed for such an occasion. However, he was better dressed then the other two. Cas was also in jeans and a jumper, but he was wearing the trench coat over the top. The demon was still in sharp business suits, insensate to the cold.

The surface of the lake – rippled through wind movements and under-surface activity – began to froth and seemingly boil, thrashing around like a dying creature. This was what they were looking for – the Kappa knew they were here now.

Castiel took a hesitant step back from the lake; Dean began to slowly make his way over. He noted that Crowley had moved into a standing position, armed too. He hadn't moved, however, and had probably assigned himself to some form of backup. Or he was waiting for an opportune moment to strike when appropriate.

The Kappa burst from the pond/lake in a fury; snarling mouths snapping sharp beaks open and shut. Their skin was slimy, an aurora of colours from red right through the spectrum to green. The shells on their back were covered in algae, dark, stagnant water dripping down in rivulets. They were ugly creatures once Dean had gotten a good look at them. They had wisps of hair that clung to the backs of their heads, bald where the scalp dipped down. They were filled to the brim with water; Dean was convinced that they were pulsating a light blue colour. However, it could have been his imagination getting ahead of him. These were not everyday supernatural creatures; they did not fly or flash colours, neither did they drink the blood of their victims or steal body parts.

They charged in a free-for-all, splashing and rasping filling the air that had previously been filled with apprehension and silence. Now that Dean was ready for them, he knew how to act, hunter's body and brain taking over where a civilian had once been.

He fired a shot into the air from a handgun, smirking when they shied away from the sound, some bending over, others raising arms in the air in defence. Of course Dean never did like killing things, but if the Kappa were allowed to live, they would continue to kill children. That was unacceptable. That was _wrong_.

He got himself caught into the fray of creatures that blurred around him like obscene rides at a fairground. Honestly, he'd never encountered creatures so goddamn colourful. He kicked at one that clambered too close, spilling the water from the depression, causing it to cry out in pain. Dean shut it up by slicing at it with the sword he carried, flesh burning away from the area he cleaved. It was fascinating, in a sickening way.

He ducked under a blow he almost didn't see coming, raising fists to block the second blow that came his way. He retaliated with a punch, an elbow finding purchase in a Kappa that grabbed his jacket. They were swarming, literally hundreds of them around him.

Dean saw Castiel kill two with one swing, taking the head off one and ending with the angel sword in the chest of another. He pushed one that got too close to him away with unseen forces, and moved to swing at another.

Dean couldn't help but watch. Cas was graceful in his movements; something that Dean hadn't really noticed before. Perhaps he had, he just couldn't remember. But that brought a lot of pain, and he didn't want to think of it at that moment in time.

He was forcefully pushed aside by a force he didn't see, causing him to crash to the floor. When had he lost his focus? He glanced up. Crowley was standing in the place he had previously occupied, the end to his sword in the neck of a Kappa. It took a moment to put two and two together. Crowley had moved Dean out of the way of a blow that could have incapacitated him, or worse.

He didn't want the demon to be saving his life. That sort of thing came back to bite him where it hurt, and when he least expected it. But by the way Crowley continued fighting, it seemed like an instinct; he _had_ to save Dean.

He hauled himself to his feet and picked up the blade that had fallen from his grasp, moving a hand to the back of his jeans to pull out the gun he had placed there as a plan B. He fired another shot into the crowd around them and they backed away a little, snarling, gnashing cracked and broken jaws together. Castiel hacked his way through, a dark look on his face. He looked menacing, and Dean could see the Lord's Warrior in there. It was strange seeing his friend with such a dark expression.

"Did they hurt you?" He asked, voice lanced with anger. He was scanning the Kappa, watching as they circled warily.

"No, Cas. I'm fine." He replied, pointing the sword at one that got too close. It shrank back before Dean could deal damage to it.

"He's only alright because I saved his sorry arse. He was too busy admiring yours, Castiel."

Dean turned his head to glare at Crowley, "Don't be a dick."

"But why? We were having such fun. You should be honoured I could be bothered to save you."

"Enough," Castiel said, silencing the hunter and the demon. He knew they weren't truly mad at each other, not anymore. It was banter. He didn't understand how human beings could be so mean to each other with their speech and mannerisms and still get along as friends. Even after being on the earth with human beings for a few years, even after being friends with Dean and Sam and Bobby, he still had so much to learn about humans. Maybe one day he would truly fit in with humanity. For now, he was safe simply watching them all.

A Kappa hissed angrily in Japanese, and they began to move in again, surrounding the three men. They had effectively trapped them in a circle of Kappa. More began to move, separating the three, even as they attacked the lot surrounding them. Dean cleaved a Kappa's head in two, and was rewarded with a painful bite on the arm. The beak of the being acted like a bird's, although jagged and broken. It broke the skin, blood staining the jacket he was wearing.

He cursed, kicking it out of the way. They were in over their heads, but they would get the job done. Luck usually befell Dean on a hunt.

He heard a splash to the left of him, and looked over. Cas had pushed aside a Kappa who had rushed him, throwing the monster into the lake. It looked like they were trying to herd him into the lake where they could drown him. Dean panicked suddenly, not sure if an angel could swim or not. While Castiel was well versed in the understanding of the universe, Dean was unsure if he had mastered the basics of swimming.

Castiel sent out a burst of his Grace, decimating the Kappa around him. More stormed in, clearing a path for Dean to follow. He was running over to the lake, kicking monsters out of the way, or merely slicing them to pieces.

Castiel was sucked into the lake, an effort of the kappa above and below the water. He was in their universe, governed by their laws. They would drown his vessel faster than Cas could repair it. Dean managed to follow, letting out a growl when a solid wall of monsters stopped him. He understood their tactic of killing them off one by one. Cas was first, then Dean would, invariably, be next, leaving Crowley as the last person to be killed. He wasn't having that.

Dean kicked through the wall; a combination of punches and sword slices. He dived into the water, closing his eyes against the cold. It was well below zero. Dean opened his eyes to find the angel. Under the lake, empty egg cases littered the floor, only one or two holding a live kappa baby. This was how they were reproducing so quickly. The water was dark, allowing for limited visibility, but Dean knew Cas would not have been dragged far away. A solid shape brushed past him, and he retaliated unthinkingly. It was a kappa, and the wound from the sword flowed red blood into the water around it. Dean pushed it away and swam forwards, heading towards a glowing light in the distance.

As he got closer, he observed two kappa holding Castiel prone in the water, another with webbed hands around his head. This was where the bluish light was coming from; they were taking something from Cas' vessel. Castiel himself was limp, mouth partially open. It was obvious that he couldn't swim, and had half drowned himself trying to escape.

He wasted no time dispatching the kappa around Cas, kicking away the one that had the blue lights. It snarled under the water and swung for Dean but the hunter was faster; hitting out with the sword. He pulled Cas close to him and kicked up, closer and closer to the surface. He'd been down for at least a minute, and hoped Cas was okay.

He broke the surface of the water, taking in a deep breath that threatened to burn his lungs. He was glad to hear Cas take a breath next to his ear, and realised they were hugging. He didn't mind, and pulled Castiel close when he heard the angel's ragged breathing.

"Thank you, Dean. I was unaware they would try to take my Grace from me."

"Was that what the blue light was? It's not a being that can do that, Cas."

Castiel moved to look Dean in the eye, "It is the equivalent to the life force; like your blood or your soul. My vessel has no soul, with being dead and all; but I... I have something that can be taken."

Dean smiled, "If I knew you couldn't swim, Cas, I would have made you stay in the car."

He smiled back, although it was slight, "I was unaware of my inabilities."

He and Dean looked up at the shore at the same time when something roared. It was louder and more booming than a Kappa, and Dean could feel the evil emanate from it. Castiel shrunk into Dean almost imperceptibly, and Dean responded by placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

On dry land, Crowley was still, a hand stretched in front of him, palm faced outwards. His other hand was still clutching the metal sword, although he was not using him. He frowned and another kappa burst into flame, crying out weakly as it quickly died. There were many more around that were burning, and others were being mauled by unseen forces. Crowley, obviously sensing things were out of hand, had summoned his Hellhound to help.

When the last kappa had burnt to a crisp, he turned to face the angel and the hunter, who haphazardly pulled themselves out of the water. Their movements were clumsy and heavy; Dean was shivering with perhaps an early onset of hypothermia. The jeans were obviously not helping.

"Nice of you love birds to join me. I'm sure you've met my hound before."

The booming bark to the right of them indicated that was where the hound was, and Dean looked at the charred bodies around them.

"They're pretty much water demons. How did you burn them?"

"Nothing burns hotter than Hell fire. When you use it, you make sure you evaporate all their water molecules first. This includes cellular moisture. After that, they go up like timber."

Dean looked disgusted, "You creep me out, you know?"

The demon winked, and clicked his fingers, indicating the hellhound could go.

"Let's say we head home before you die of something so... unbecoming."

He shivered in response, frowning at the angel, who had dried himself out.

"Cas, you couldn't possibly dry me off or something? I have a nasty cut on my arm as well."

The angel nodded and touched Dean's forearm, over the bite that the kappa had caused.

Dean felt his clothes lighten and heat up, and closed his eyes in bliss.

"Man, that's warm!"

Cas kept his hand on Dean's arm, "Come on, let's get you home."

_This chapter was absolutely dreadful to write. I feel I ruined the ending of this chapter a little, but I'm too tired to really care. I had to write this though. I had a dream about it and I found it quite cool. Now it's in writing! :D_

_Please leave a review, they make me so happy. _


	7. Christmas Arrangements

**Helping Hand**

**- Daianta**

I don't own Supernatural. I wish I did, but I don't. I wouldn't mind writing for them though. *hint hint*

_Hello again! Welcome to chapter seven of Helping Hand. I really do hope you've been enjoying it as much as I have writing it. Just a warning, I wrote this as I was moving into my university, so forgive me if there's any mistakes here. I was writing on paper, on Gmail, in my head, trying to keep the words I'd formed somewhere concrete._

_But I'm home now, so I can write more, and post easily._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seven: Christmas Arrangements<strong>

_Word Count: 9,051_

Castiel didn't know what to think. One minute Dean was normal and happy, the next he was a completely different character. A regression, almost. This was Cas' first real relationship, and a part of him felt like he was to blame for Dean's obvious, childlike behaviour. He'd done nothing wrong, nothing he could think of would explain his partner's irrationalities. Being that this was his first, he was unsure whether he should allow Dean to walk away without a backwards glance, or kick and scream at the Winchester for not trying hard enough. Although really, you couldn't blame anyone for Dean's memory loss; that was a creature's fault coupled with Dean's lack of personal safety. Castiel had locked himself away in the master bedroom the night Dean had rejected him and found himself inconsolable; sobbing in a manner he was sure he had never done before. It was a crippling loneliness, one that was pushed further because Dean, man be damned, had moved around downstairs loudly and reminded Cas that this was really happening. He wanted to talk to someone; Sam or maybe Gabriel, if push came to shove. Gabe was lovely really, mellowing out a lot with parenthood, but there were times when he could be a pain in the neck. If Castiel allowed him to talk to Dean to resolve the problem, someone would wind up getting hurt. And it would not be Gabriel.

It had been several days since the incident with the kappa. In that time, Dean had been told all sorts of things to help him get his memory back. Castiel had sat with him from the day after the Kappa incident right through until the evening telling him all sorts of things to try and get him to remember. It seemed a little harsh, trying to force the man to remember, but Castiel was growing desperate. Very desperate. However, on top of the desperation was weariness.

Sometimes it felt like Dean wasn't even trying to remember. Of course, it could just be Cas picking holes in everything. Like he said, it was frustrating.

Dean, too, was having problems. He felt like he was becoming a burden to the angel, because he couldn't remember anything. In the five days since he lost his memory, he'd noticed the sad looks Sam had given him; the pity smiles and the disbelieving stares. Right when he'd found happiness, he'd had it snatched from him from under his nose.

Now, however, there were more pressing issues to contend with. Now that it was almost Christmas, they were due guests. To simply make it easier for everyone they'd decided to host Christmas at Cas and Dean's place, where he was familiar. Bobby's place was mentioned, but it wasn't big enough to house the two hunters, two angels as well as a baby, Bobby and Crowley, who had, infuriatingly, remained in Dean's household. The first time Dean told him to get out, Castiel had scolded him. The second time, Bobby had seriously threatened to skin him alive. The subject wasn't brought up again, but Dean was itching for answers. Crowley wouldn't actively spend time in the presence of hunters for no reason.

He had gone to ask Bobby a few times, but had chickened out at the last minute. Either he would hear something he didn't want to know, or Bobby would change the subject; he knew it. Dean wasn't even sure if he wanted to know the answer; his morbid curiosity got the better of him and he knew it. The point was, he didn't want Crowley in their lives. Although he had been a big help with the Kappa and had sought to help Dean, there were still creases that couldn't be simply ironed out with talking.

The hunter wanted to punch the demon, which was a pretty normal thing for hunters to want. He seemed to be there merely to irritate Dean, and that in turn made him more irritated. Coupled with the memory loss, he was in a very, very bad mood.

Gabriel had taken over the household; Sam busy changing Alexis on the sofa and Crowley was God-knows where. Castiel and Bobby were running errands in the town, collecting supplies for Christmas now there were to be more people this year. Dean and Sam had managed to get in touch with Ellen and Jo and had invited them over. Dean invited them, Sam did the explaining over Dean's memory incident and how they were trying to overcome it. So they agreed to come over to Cas' place. (Dean had no idea whether to call it his place, Cas' place or _their_ place, as in together. It seemed Ellen was under the impression Christmas was at Bobby's too, which had annoyed the old hunter slightly. His house wasn't a come-to whenever people wanted somewhere to meet up.

Gabriel and Dean were upstairs in the attic's bedrooms, changing bed sheets and making the rooms tidy. Bobby was to have one bed, Ellen and Jo were to share the other. On the first floor, Cas would have the master bedroom and Sam, Alex and Gabriel would share the spare bedroom. Dean had taken to sleeping in one of the beds in the attic, although he would have to give it up for the girls. There was no way Bobby would be able to sleep on the sofa considering his age, and Dean thought he was being really considerate for once.

It meant he now had to sleep on the sofa – well, he had to fight Crowley for it. Dean was not going to sleep on the floor, and there was no way he was sharing the corner sofa with the demon. He'd fight him tooth and nail, even though Crowley had helped them out with the Kappa. Now Dean thought he was being shallow, but he didn't really care. It wasn't like he could sleep in the same room as Castiel, though. Or share a bed. It wasn't that it sickened him, on the contrary, Dean rather liked Cas' company. It was the fact that it would be so awkward Dean would need lessons on being normal again.

Besides, it wasn't like they would be able to have sex. Castiel, in spite of Gabriel, had ban-hammered all inter-species relationships over the festive season. The reason? He'd walked into the library room to find Sam bent over the desk, Gabriel standing behind him in a very obvious pose. Castiel had said nothing and left, leaving the two men very confused and suddenly not interested in sex anymore.

At dinner that night, he'd proclaimed that he'd banned it over Christmas, causing Dean to choke on his food and Bobby to raise an eyebrow. Gabriel had glowered at Cas, Sam had gone a lovely shade of beetroot red and Alex had squawked at the frustrations that rapidly spread around him at the table.

"But it's Christmas, Castiel!" Gabriel had whined between mouthfuls of mashed potato. He raised a fork, pointing it in Cas' direction, "Do not ruin my Christmas like this!"

Cas had remained poker-faced, "I do not want my maps defiled in such a manner."

The tips of Sam's ears were now red and Dean had gagged on his food. He couldn't believe he was hearing about his brother's sex life. At the dinner table!

"Don't tell me you and Dean never did the dirty in there."

"What Dean and I do is none of your business, Gabriel. We do not go to your house and have sex whenever and wherever we want."

Gabriel went to speak but Dean interrupted by waving his knife in front of him as if he was about to launch it at Gabe's head.

"Before you say anything, I want you to know I don't remember anything to do with me and Cas."

At this, Sam had looked sympathetic. "Do you want us to tell you some more?"

Dean nodded, and Sam pushed his plate away, "Okay. Just, try to listen, yeah?"

So he talked. At times, Cas, Bobby and Gabriel interjected, but Sam was able to recall most of what had transpired while he had been there.

"We went to the beach about seven months ago. We thought," He indicated at Gabriel and himself, "that it would be a good idea to bring Alex along, get some fresh air at the seaside. Naturally, you wanted to come along. Although you don't remember, you doted on Alex."

"I do now," Dean said defensively. It was true; he'd bonded with Alex seemingly all over again, and would do anything to protect his brother's children.

"Okay. So we played on the beach. Gabriel created a clone to keep an eye on Alex, and we played beach games like volleyball and badminton." At the look Dean was giving him, Sam rolled his eyes, "They're normal games, Dean! We couldn't exactly begin play-fighting on the beach!"

Dean raised his hands in defence, "I didn't say anything!"

"You didn't need to, Dean-o. You've got a face like a book."

Dean pulled a face at the Archangel and turned back to Sam, "Continue?"

"It was nice. At first, it was you and Cas versus Gabe and I. Then we decided to play brothers against brothers, and it felt good to be working with you again. Obviously, with Alex and all, we haven't been able to go out hunting as often as I'd like. We've been sending you to do it alone or with Cas and stuff." Sam shrugged his shoulders, mouth unsure whether to smile or frown, "Frankly, I've missed hunting with you."

"So when was the last time we did?"

"Before Alex was born. When he arrived and we took him home, my life changed, Dean."

Dean understood. They'd passed the rest of the evening regaling tales of Dean, as if in remembrance for the man that had been lost. Dean didn't mind, however. He was interested in hearing tales of what he had done, who he had pissed off.

"So we're in this bar, right?" Gabriel said, laughing, "And this chick comes up to you, and you can clearly tell she came out to grab some, know what I mean? You told her you weren't interested but she was having none of it. Pulled you in for a kiss and everything. Mr. Serious here," He pointed to Cas, who had his head bent. You could see he was trying hard not to smile or laugh out loud.

"Mr. Serious here comes over and pulls this girl's head back, reiterating that Dean's not interested. You and Cas caused a massive scene, Dean-o! I had to come over and wipe everyone's memories of that night. Castiel here can't control his temper."

"She was touching him inappropriately, brother. I was not having any of it."

Gabriel burst out laughing, causing Sam to laugh too. Dean smiled, shaking his head.

"What are you like, Cas? I probably could have taken care of her by myself."

"I couldn't control it. There was this rage inside me at the thought of her with you... I couldn't help myself."

"That's jealousy, brother. Nice to know you have human feelings after all!"

They'd spent the night laughing, just the five of them, like old times again. Dean had enjoyed himself, and the company he had received from Castiel.

Dean grabbed a hold of the corner of the duvet, pulling the cover over it. Gabriel had the other end. Between snide remarks they had sorted out a good system for cleaning the room and making the beds, and Dean was surprised how well they got on with each other. If only he had revealed himself earlier instead of killing him over and over again.

He looked at Gabriel now, who was concentrating on the room around them. He was shaking the duvet, pulling the duvet sheet down on his right hand side. There was a radio that crackled slightly in the background, the DJ calling out the date and the name of the next song. It was, thankfully, an alternative radio station, which meant he wouldn't have to listen to shitty pop music while cleaning.

"So, Dean..." Gabriel began, moving to push the press-studs at the bottom of the duvet together, "what do you remember?"

"Honestly? Nothing. Only what you've told me, and the reason for that is that you've told me yourself. I have no idea really of my old life before I woke up here."

Gabriel shook his head sadly, peering up at the hunter.

He felt sorry for the pair of them; Dean and Cas. Dean was so stupid, it was unreal. It wasn't like Gabe had simply stood in the background and tried to allow Dean to figure it out for himself, Gabriel had thrown himself in there. He'd mentioned the Djinn a few days back, along with _arch_angels and alternate realities. He knew that Dean had thought of different realities while trying to find the Impala, and of Djinn and angels, but he hadn't really acted on them or questioned Gabriel's motives. Of course Gabriel should have just done what he had planned; locking them in a cupboard and seeing what happened. It would probably be a lot easier and quicker than being in this world where Gabriel controlled everything. It was lovely seeing his little family had become complete, but Castiel's moping when no one was looking and Dean's stupidity was starting to grate on his nerves, just a fraction.

"So how do you feel about Cas?" He threw the question out there, no longer concerned with keeping up pretences. Dean just had to know how much Cas was hurting with his ignorance.

"I don't know, Gabriel. I mean, he's a friend and all, but knowing that we were closer than that and I don't remember it? It freaks me out a little. A lot, actually."

"Is it because you don't remember, or you're freaked out by the fact that it's with another man?" Gabriel challenged, dropping the sheet in his hands to stare at Dean.

He didn't answer, merely gaped around like a fish out of water. He didn't look scared, merely confused. He had no idea what to think.

"Come on, Dean-o! It's not a hard question..."

"I'm freaked that I don't remember it, okay! There's nothing wrong with dating another man, I accept that. Especially with you two," He motioned to Gabriel, and as an extension, Sam, "I made my peace with all that. I know I'm not gay."

"Yeah, we know that. The fact is, Castiel isn't like a normal person. He's neither male or female, the same as me. You know Sam and I watch TV some nights and pick out the girls we'd love to take home? I wouldn't call Sam gay, but to outsiders, that's what we are. Love has no gender, Dean."

Dean recoiled from the fact that Gabriel had said something meaningful without resorting to sarcasm. Obviously he cared for his brother, but he cared for Dean also, something that Dean hadn't thought of at the time. Not that he was selfish; Gabriel and Dean had a friendship that was sometimes strained, although they got along for the sake of Sam and everyone around them. Over time they'd come to call each other secret-friends, neither wanting the world to know they got on like a house on fire. Gabriel had _killed_ Dean. More than once. That sort of stuff wasn't easily forgotten.

"And besides, Castiel would do anything for you, you know that? He's completely wrapped around your little finger without you even knowing it. If you told him to jump, he'd ask how high."

"I'm... I..."

Dean faltered, stuttering and stumbling over his words, unable to form a coherent sentence. The fact that Cas was in love with him had been a new concept that he had readily understood, perhaps a little too easily, his mind whispered devilishly to him; but it was the fact that Gabriel knew everything about it and had observed it meant a whole lot more. This was big; far bigger than he thought.

"He cares for you, Dean-o. Don't let someone like that go easily."

Gabriel left the room, leaving Dean by himself to finish up. He growled and threw the fluffy throw they'd brought over the bed angrily, before collapsing on top of it in a huff. He resigned himself to internal arguments, and this was how Sam found him half an hour later.

"Dude, what the hell?"

Dean looked over at his brother, pulling arms out from underneath him to wave at him in a friendly manner.

"Join me, Sammy. It's been a weird day."

Ellen and Jo were due to arrive after nine in the evening; in time for a late dinner. It was after five now; the sky was dark and the lights were on. The room Dean was in was dark, a tiny lamp providing light in the corner of the room. It wasn't that big, but it was adequate to fit two people comfortably.

Sam moved, silent as shadow, to perch on the edge of the bed, back to his brother. They hadn't been around each other a lot lately, and it showed. He wanted to be close to his brother again; back when they were hunting things and not having commitments. Of course, Sam would never give up the life he had made for himself with Gabriel and Alex; but he would like to go out on a hunt again, just him and his brother.

"How'd you do it, Sammy?" Dean asked, sounding incredulous.

"What?" Sam turned to look at Dean, a frown marring his face. He seemed genuinely confused with Dean's question that had come out of the blue.

"All of this," Dean gestured at Sam with a hand vaguely, moving to sit upright, "Alex and Gabriel. How did you manage to find happiness when our whole lives were shaped with unfortunate events?"

Sam smiled thinly, obviously having thought the same thing along the way.

"Honestly Dean, I don't know. I mean, one day we were fighting the Trickster and then the Apocalypse and then I was _kissing_ the Trickster who had killed you so many times after he took me to different places in time. You don't know how scared he was, Dean, during the Apocalypse. At the thought of going up against his own brother."

"You couldn't do it." It wasn't a question, it was a statement that Sam agreed with.

"I know how he felt. He loved Lucifer in the same way I love you. But, the devil had to be stopped..."

He trailed off, not ready to re-live the fact that he had become the vessel for Lucifer and had almost killed them all.

"What about Alex?"

Sam did smile this time, almost a beam.

"Well I didn't expect to have a child with Gabriel, if that's what you meant."

"What made you want to do it?"

The younger Winchester sibling looked thoughtful, most of the beam had vanished and in its place was a sly smile, one that was almost forgotten about but not ready to leave.

"Love, Dean. I love Gabriel and he loves me and we wanted to share that love with another being."

"Yeah, but there are different ways to show your love for each other, you know? Not that I'm condoning having a kid; I love Alex. I'm just saying there's marriage, you know?"

"We haven't discussed marriage, Dean!" Sam said, almost exasperated. He looked hesitant and Dean sat up further.

"You want to marry him, don't you? Sammy?"

"Yes. No. I don't know, Dean! I feel like I'm ready to but I don't think he's into that sort of thing."

"Well why don't you ask him? Don't hide away, Sammy. You faced the devil head-on. Don't think one little question is so scary. All it is, marriage, is a piece of paper with your signatures and a couple-a rings. No biggie." Dean looked down for a moment, "I can't believe I'm telling my brother to propose to the man who killed me a hundred times over."

Sam laughed, "Yeah, well times have changed, Dean."

Dean snorted, "Like a demon in our lives? Come _on_, Sammy! He's got no reason to be here!"

"It's not my place to say." Sam looked visibly upset, and obviously wanted to change the subject.

Dean repeated his brother's statement, "_It's__not__your__place__to__say_... Well that tells me a lot! Why the hell are you allowing such a bastard near your own child?"

"_Dean_..."

"_No_. Tell me, Sammy, or I'll cause a scene until I get answers. Crowley's gotten under my skin too many times."

"Look, if Bobby trusts him, then we do too, okay? I'm not about to have this conversation with you."

Dean had his mouth open, agape. His vivid malachite* eyes were widened in almost-horror, unbelieving.

"So you're just gonna let it go? I'm gonna ask Crowley about it myself."

He snorted, "You do that, Dean."

"I will. So..." Curiosity got the better of him, "What's Gabriel like when I'm not around?"

Sam raised an eyebrow.

"I know that he would still treat me weird, even after all this time. He showed it with me earlier, shooting his mouth off without thinking of my thoughts."

"When we're alone, Gabriel's amazing."

Dean rolled his eyes at the cliché.

"I mean, he would do anything for me. If I needed a book; he'd find it for me, even if it wasn't in circulation anymore. If I wanted to go out for a walk or something, he'd drop everything to come with me. At weekends, we'd sit in bed all day, just the two of us. Talking about the future, about us and everything else. He has a heart, Dean.

"When it was a special occasion he'd get up early to find me something special, you know? You don't remember what he got me for my birthday, do you?"

At this Dean shook his head, wondering if they were both talking about the same person. This was not Gabriel at all. Gabriel was malicious and cold and cruel and did whatever he could to annoy Dean. He was probably working with Crowley as they spoke, the two of them in cahoots with each other.

"He got me a Chondrite."

Dean blinked, "A what?"

"A Carbonaceous Chondrite. They're what's left over when the stars and planets were formed."

"He brought you a space rock? Jesus, Sammy. You get with an Archangel and he buys you a rock?"

"No, Dean. It's the meaning behind it, too. These rocks are older than our own sun. You won't really find them in museums much. This stuff is a lot rarer than meteorites. It came from God's hand himself."

Dean raised his hands in defence, "Alright. Whatever makes you happy, Sammy."

He continued to look over at Sam, however, "What do you mean it came from God?"

"Well, the Archangels are the only beings to see God, right? Gabriel was given it to him by God like, forever ago. He held on to it, 'cause it came from his father. He wanted to pass it on to me."

"Well you've certainly got yourself a piece of history, haven't you?"

Sam's wane smile was enough.

"Anyway, how's Gabriel with Alex? Is he pulling his weight?"

"Yeah, he's great. Really, Dean. He'll get up in the middle of the night when I'm too sleepy to even move. I'm worried when Alex grows up and goes to school, Gabe's gonna flip."

"What about when Alex realises you and he are aging while his other dad stays the same?"

Dean's voice was soft in the half-light, not quite willing to broach the subject but unable to stop himself. He swallowed noisily, the only source of sound in the room. The others were on the ground floor, a whole level between them.

Sam bit his lip, looking at the floor quietly, a slight shake of his head.

"We've discussed this. Argued about it, actually. I really don't know. Gabe says he'll be a good boy and won't cause undue attention to himself, and we'll tell Alex when he's older that he has an angel for a daddy and he'll still look the same when he's on his deathbed."

There was an undertone of anger in his voice, a slight wavering that made Dean realise how much it choked up his brother to mention the future.

"I don't want to leave this world without Gabe, Dean. I want to stay with him forever; just the three of us. I don't want him to watch me grow old and die, then do the same with his children, and his grandchildren."

Tears had formed now; Sam always was the more emotional brother. Dean clapped a hopefully comforting hand on his shoulder and moved it in little circles, maybe calming his brother before things got hysterical.

"I'm sure Gabriel will find a way, Sammy. Either he'll pray to become human in the future, or God will give you a special chance; or something like that."

"No he won't, Dean. Don't say things that aren't true. God isn't even around anymore; Gabriel can tell you that. Hell, even Cas can."

His mouth twisted into a frown, a single tear managing to fall. He brushed it away by his cheek, embarrassed to be caught crying in front of his brother.

"Hey now, Sammy, come on..."

"It's alright. I'm okay. I... I just don't want to lose them both, you know?"

"Yeah, I know Sam. I know."

Sam laughed once, almost a snort that quickly died down.

"What?" Dean looked indignant, hands out in confusion. It looked like a half shrug and he fidgeted in his seat trying to get comfy.

"You. Caring about someone like that. I'm sorry about your memory and all, but you really haven't been treating Cas right."

"What?" He said slowly, turning a glare on his brother.

"I just mean, when's the last time you spoke to him in depth? Asked him how he was? Everyone can see you're avoiding him, Dean. It's like you're scared of him."

Dean scoffed, "I'm not scared. It's... Complicated. Awkward. I've slept with him, Sammy, and it weirds me out that I don't remember. Something like that shouldn't be forgotten, you know?"

"So you're saying you want to remember?" He grilled Dean subtly, taking his time. If he made a wrong move Dean would retreat inside his defences, and they'd never get him to talk this openly again.

"..." Dean goes to answer but stops himself, shaking his head mutely. Sam had thought about Dean's regression into himself, and it had happened.

"Aw, come _on_. You know you can talk to me."

"My world feels like it's crashed down around me, man. I don't know what's freaking up and what's down. In '_now_' I'm with an angel. Do you know what that does to you? How would you like it if you woke up, and you didn't even know you were with Gabriel?"

Sam understood, for a brief moment. Perhaps he was more... understanding in this type of situation then Dean was. Sam always knew there was someone in the world waiting for him. He just hadn't expected it to be a supernatural being. Or a man. But that couldn't be helped; you can't choose who you fall in love with.

"Dean." Sam used a tone that commanded attention, similar to Dean's tones when he was going to say something important, "Just talk to him. You don't have to get down and dirty or even do anything, just talk. Talking's the first step. Cas understands that it's tough for you; for the pair of you. You're in this together, okay? Don't ignore him."

He could tell his brother was getting nervous and irritated at the talk, which was Dean all over.

"I'm gonna go and see if anything needs doing. Why don't you talk to him while we wait for Ellen and Jo?"

Dean grunted in response, not bothering to give an answer and collapsed back onto the bed, back facing his brother. Sam sighed quietly, understanding his sibling's gesture. Dean was practically running away from his problems. Although he had looked upbeat regarding his prognosis and the fact he may never have his memory back again, Sam could tell from the haunch in his brother's shoulders that the issue weighted him down more than the Apocalypse, and that was sad. There was no need for it. If only Dean did the mature thing and talk to Castiel about it... But no. He just loved running away from his problems. Dean had to learn that running away meant they weren't swept away under the carpet never to be seen again. With running away, they had a habit of bursting out of you at the most random moments.

Sam closed the door, perhaps a little harder than he should have done, and left the man to mope.

Alone in the darkness, Dean sighed heavily. He knew that Cas knew he was up here; the angel could come up and talk if he really wanted to. He was not making the first move, however. Oh no. He had to admit, though, he and Cas had a good time looking after Alex at the park. They'd taken him into the town a few days prior when the house was busy with activity, when Sam was at work filling out one more case before the Christmas festivities started. It was one of the rare times he and Cas had gone out alone. They'd been stopped once by a man who was obviously a neighbour or something similar, for he stooped to smile at Alex and ask how the pair of them were doing. Castiel had politely thanked him for his concern and told them they were all good, and then they were on their way. Cas had been a bit disgruntled at that, and had pulled at the ends of the trench coat he wore when Dean took over the pram.

He'd been confused, but ignored it.

There had also been the little talks they had, about hunts and things. Dean had been sent out to take care of a spirit south of their house, and he found Castiel had tagged along for the fun of it. For an hour or two, they were not estranged lovers or whatever the fuck they were; they were the hunter and the angel, back in the thick of it; demons, ghosts, vampires... It didn't matter. The fact was, they communicated like they always had done. Castiel had given him puppy-looks, as he always had done, and his gazes were a bit more meaningful than usual. Aside from that, he had helped Dean if he asked for it, given him advice and orders to move to claw the spirit down while they figured out what was wrong and a way to effectively destroy it.

If it was possible, the sky got darker outside, and Dean saw that the clock on the bedside table was reading after ten. It would mean that Ellen and Jo were either here and he'd missed their entry, or they were running slightly behind schedule.

Eager to greet them, now realising how much he'd missed them, he made his way towards the tiny steps that led to the first floor. When was the last time he'd seen the female hunters? Well, he didn't remember seeing them in the year and a half he'd lost, and it had been at least another year before that, back when he was still working at the mechanic's place.

So he hadn't seen them for a while. He didn't realise how much he'd missed them. Hell, he'd even put up with Jo's incessant flirting for one evening, just so he knew she was there.

Back when the Apocalypse was in full swing, she and Ellen had been in an accident that hadn't looked good; they'd been in an explosion inside a building, mere seconds after Dean had walked outside for some fresh air. He and Cas had searched an eternity looking for them, to even find something to bury. No, there was nothing there. Cas had sent Dean to the Impala and forced him to drive as hordes of demons began to appear, and they had high-tailed it out of the place. Dean never had the chance to mourn his friend's deaths.

He'd arrived back at the motel where he'd sunk into bed and really let loose the tears he'd been holding back. Jo was like his little sister; Ellen was another mother figure he had lost. His life really did suck. Of course, with Winchester-bad-luck, the door had been kicked in shortly after his crying fit had started, when Cas wasn't able to comfort him.

Ellen had walked through the door; third degree burns in some places, mouth set in a thin line. She was also limping, and Jo walked in after her, in a similar state. Cas had been quick to heal them of their injuries, and Dean had hugged them while they told him they managed to escape the blast's full extent by a metal door falling on them.

Dean reached the bottom of the attic's stairs and stopped on the top of the stairs leading to the ground floor. From here, he could hear the conversations that took place down stairs. The TV was on, probably a documentary that Sam was watching. There was laughter from the dining room area of downstairs, a laugh that was obviously from Crowley. The damn bastard didn't know when to leave, did he?

As Dean contemplated going downstairs, the door knocked, and Dean called out that he had it. He reached the bottom as Sam waltzed through the living room door and opened up the front door, a heavy thing that creaked slightly.

"Sam! Dean!" Ellen called, rushing forward to envelop Sam in a hug, since he was the closest. She let go of him to wrap herself around Dean, a gentle pat on the back for comfort.

"How's your head, boy?" She asked, moving back to stare at him as if able to see the problem. She pressed a cold hand to his warm forehead like a mother would to her child.

"Still no improvement, Ellen. No memory really."

His crooked grin made Ellen smile, and she made to walk into the living room door as Jo hugged Sam.

"Ellen!" He said suddenly, touching the hunter's arm quickly.

"What, Dean?" She said, surprised.

"I'm just letting you know there's a demon in there that I want to kill, but can't."

In response, Ellen burst into raucous laughter. "You really have lost your memory, haven't you?"

Before Dean could ask her what the fuck she meant, she disappeared around the corner into the living room, where more noise meant she was loudly welcomed.

Behind him, Sam had embraced Jo in a brotherly hug and was helping her carry in bags. Dean helped, dragging them up the stairs and leaving them on the landing for now. They weren't important as of now.

He turned to see Jo standing behind him, a small smile on her face, "Hey, Dean. I've missed you."

They hugged briefly; Jo was the first one (surprisingly) to pull away. Dean had come to see her like a little sister, although spoilt at times, but he was surprised with himself over how he had reacted. He remembered when they first met each other, and how he had flirted with her. Now, he didn't feel that way. The thought of being with her made him sick, but not in a mean way. Perhaps she had realised that over time.

"So how's your memory going, Dean?"

He sighed, shaking his head.

Dinner was a relatively simple affair consisting of a simple chicken breast each with chips and condiments. They were running out of things to use before they got stuck into their Christmas food, so it was all good. Bobby and Gabriel had prepared and cooked it, to allow Castiel a chance to relax.

Although he was inept when it came to people and human nature, he was a damn good cook. Maybe it was just an angel thing; Gabe was a stunning cook, thank _God_, because Sam was utterly useless. Although, the Archangel _could_ conjure food out of thin air... Dean imagined chefs turning around to find their recently cooked food vanished from sight.

Cas had brought more chairs in to accommodate the female hunters, and Dean had found himself more than a little disturbed when Ellen and Crowley had shared an in-joke. He was going to stab the demon in that smug face of his. He was smirking because he knew that he was at no risk of sudden death; the hunters around him weren't baying for his blood and Gabriel seemed more like a friend than a mortal enemy.

Jo was sat at the table in silence, as conversations surrounded her. Her mother, Bobby and Crowley raucously laughed at some joke or something, looking every inch like old friends. Jo was used to the demon's presence now, after spending an Easter's holiday at Bobby's house where the demon resided in his spare time. It was weird to see Dean shoot such malicious looks at Crowley. Of course they hadn't been friends; far from it, actually; they had a tentative acquaintance for the sake of Bobby. That said, they had progressed to not trying to kill each other on sight. The demon was eating with them, which was strange in itself. She didn't know if they even needed to eat. Sure, the angels didn't, but that didn't stop them from joining in the fun.

Jo had long since come over her hatred for demons, and a large part of it was the Crossroads King that sat parallel to her. She had come to terms with his relationship with Bobby, and how it was abnormal, so fucked up that she had no idea how it worked but it had, and for the first time since she knew him, he was smiling for real. So screw Dean and his prejudices against demons; if Bobby was happy, it was all that mattered.

Gabriel and Sam were murmuring in low voices, obviously about Alexis. Jo's views were forced to change when she saw that they were giving not-so-hidden glances in Dean and Cas' direction. She stared at the non-couple in confusion and disbelief. The confusion wasn't completely unfounded; they had spoken over two weeks ago when Dean was very much his wholesome self, when he was with Cas. They sat next to each other now, although one could see how they weren't as close as they had been before.

They still spoke like old friends, Dean laughed at something he said or remembered while Cas smiled hesitantly, still reeling from his partner's loss. Anyone with half a brain cell could see the lust and love in his azure blue eyes that shone like the ocean on a sunny day.

Dean's eyes had a veiled look in them, one that indicated he was trying to hide something from everyone, especially the almost-telepathic angel sitting next to him. He obviously cared about Cas; that much was obvious, and Jo thought he just needed a little prodding in the right direction in order for him to realise what those feelings were. Winchesters, _huh_, and their ability to throw all sense of feeling out the window.

Jo looked back over to Gabriel, currently stuffing his face with chips, and tried to catch his eye without drawing attention to herself. This sort of thing required stealth, and she was obviously a lot less stealthy then most people at this table. She caught his gaze a minute later, when she was getting flustered and was at the point of kicking him under the table. It was unfortunate Gabriel couldn't hold his tongue; she would have done that as her first port of call.

Once she had his attention, it was a lot harder for her to tell him what she was planning on doing, and she communicated without words in Dean and Cas' direction. Gabriel looked confused, a little out of his element. He shrugged his shoulders almost imperceptibly, realising their need for secrecy. In the end, she realised the Archangel could read minds, and quietly projected a thought at Gabriel, eager for no one else to hear what she was thinking.

He picked it up easily after that, as she ran through the plan involving Dean getting to grips with his feelings for Cas. She decided the best thing to do would be to send them somewhere on their own, away from a hunter's setting. Knowing that Dean had brought presents but had hidden them (and now couldn't remember where they were), she decided that they needed to go Christmas shopping _alone_, to get presents and for them to talk about their feelings. A total male bonding session.

She looked in their direction for emphasis, where they were engaged in yet another conversation about the house they lived in. Seriously, they talked about it like a married couple.

Gabriel smirked and nodded, not needing to speak.

_'Agreed.'_

A cursory look showed that no one had seen their exchange, not even the demon. Plan: successful and in motion.

Ellen was the first to go up to bed. Dean realised that she wasn't getting any younger, especially when she moaned about her limbs hurting from the car ride and how she had a headache from where she was old. She bade everyone goodnight and Dean heard her stalk up the stairs, quietly as to not wake up Alexis. He wondered how she would cope with being in the attic, but there was a separate shower and toilet up there, so it wasn't like she had to go very far in the morning.

It was approaching midnight when Sam took himself upstairs to the spare room next to the little library, Alex wearing him out now that he was crawling. Sam had watched over him with a sharp eye, careful that he was not touching anything. Honestly, Sam was an overprotective parent when it came to his only child. It was better than Gabriel, who would simply wrap his child in bubble wrap and let him get on with it. Gabriel was childish like that, and would take great pleasure in bursting the bubbles.

It was the Archangel who went up next, not ten minutes after Sam. He sensed that he might get lucky with Sam, even through Cas' ban-hammer. But with Alex in the room? _Ew_. Dean knew though that once Alex was asleep, not even a hurricane would wake him. And Gabriel would be sure to keep the noise down, he hoped. Dean was sleeping in the room underneath them. (It would mean he did have to fight with Crowley, like he feared after all. It didn't matter, he'd shoot the demon with rock-salt if things got too out of hand).

When Jo went up, Dean was both surprised and glad that she hadn't flirted with him. Of course, they had spoken and all, but he figured it was to do with the angel in the room that would tear her spine out with his bare hands. Castiel was the type to get insanely jealous very easily, and Dean wasn't sure what to make of that information. He tucked it away for now, ready to process it later on in the night.

With the others gone, it was Dean, Castiel, Bobby and Crowley huddled on the sofa, watching some crap sitcom repeat that was neither funny or interesting.

It was approaching one in the morning, and Dean stifled a yawn. Castiel saw it, however.

"I think we should be getting some sleep. It's been a long day for us all."

"Yeah," Dean agreed, "I'm dead..."

"Well I'm gonna stay up a little bit longer, you know." Bobby said, looking up at Dean when he stood.

"Do what you want Bobby, you know you're welcome here. Crowley, could I have a word?"

He looked at the demon, who cocked his head to the side, "If you want. Shall we step out into the back garden?"

The hunter nodded and led his way to the kitchen and into the garage, where there was a door leading to the outside. He'd only ever been in the garden once. Now, it was filled with snow from where it had finally fallen, blanketing the world in white that, in the sun, would blind him. Dean could feel his heart beating with nerves from what he was going to ask. He was prying into his friend's life, a friend he considered a replacement father for his own failed one. But it had been bugging him for a while, like an itch that wouldn't go away.

"So..." Crowley said, attempting to entice Dean to speak. He knew what he was going to ask; he was merely humouring the human.

"Am I missing something?" He asked. Crowley looked confused.

"What?"

"What's your relationship with Bobby?" He blurted out, knowing it was now or never, "And don't skirt around the question."

"I wouldn't dream of it." Crowley's gaze was even as he bored holes into Dean. "Would it make you feel better if I told you we were simply friends?"

"'T_old_...'" Dean repeated, putting emphasis on the word, "That's a bit different from what I'm asking."

"Well turn the other cheek, Dean. Maybe you wouldn't like the answer I'm going to give you. Maybe you should start working on your own problems before you attempt to intervene on other's lives."

"Hey," Dean said, growing defensive. "I asked you if you and Bobby were..."

Crowley put a hand up, stalling dean from talking. He wanted a cigarette, but it could wait until morning.

"No, you listen to me. My orientation and who I date is up to me. I _will__not_ have a pathetic _human_ get in the way of what I want or desire, when he can't even be sure of who he wants himself. I'm not a miracle worker, Dean. In case you haven't noticed, I'm a demon. Look," Crowley's tone, which had been filled with malice, lowered until he was giving Dean advice, "Castiel cares for you. I know people left, right and centre have been telling you that, but it's the truth. But you need to fucking do something before Castiel goes dark side. He's grieving his loss of you while you're still here."

Dean was quiet, mulling over the demon's words. Castiel had been withdrawn, expectedly, but Dean hadn't realised the reasoning for it might be the angel's grieving process. He was treating it like someone had died. Well, a part of Dean had, and a relationship had crumbled for it. Bitterly, Dean realised that Castiel didn't deserve something like that. He was an _angel__of__the__Lord_, who had fallen for a human. Cliché or not, that stuff deserved respect on how well he handled it to Dean's face. Maybe he could fool the others, but there was no fooling his brother Gabriel.

Crowley read his thoughts, "And because of Gabriel, I know how Castiel's feeling. Don't be a dick, jackass."

He turned and headed back into the house, leaving Dean alone in the cold by himself. He was glad he was still wearing boots from his earlier excursion, otherwise his feet would be absolutely freezing.  
>He mulled even more, over Crowley's words and meaning. He knew the demon was gay; it needn't be said aloud. For him to admit it to Dean's face, when all he ever did was skip around questions, took a lot. He wondered if their relationship had been this strained when he still had his old memories, the ones he had lost somehow.<p>

_'Who I date is up to me.'_

Dean sighed. Crowley still hadn't fully answered his questions. Demonic son of a bitch. It still plagued him, but to have Crowley talk to him honestly for even a few minutes was enough. He had a point though. He had to sort out his own short-comings before he could start on the friendship/lovers thing between Crowley and Bobby.

He took himself back inside the house, moving into the house pressing a cold hand to the Impala's frame for a brief second. The kitchen was dark and warm, and he found himself shivering slightly. Back in the living room, Castiel was talking to Bobby.

"Dean," He said in greeting, standing near the doorway. "I'm going up to bed now."

"Alright, I'll fight with Crowley for the sofa." He said, placing a small smile on his lips. Castiel looked at him with a frown, uncharacteristically biting his lower lip.

"Stay in our room, Dean." Cas' face was as confused with Dean's, as if he hadn't expected the words to tumble from his lips.

"Cas, I'm not sure if that's a good idea..."

"It will be okay. I will not do anything untoward to you. You have my word."

Nodding despite himself, Dean followed the angel up the stairs to the master bedroom, the room he hadn't entered since he awoke with no memory and was kissed by Cas.

He almost forgot about that kiss. He could feel the love Cas had for him poured in to it, and had been momentarily dumbstruck by it. Maybe he thought he was still dreaming. He had gathered his senses and pushed the angel off him, and the rest was history.

His heart beat faster as he stepped into the room, unsure of how to react. The only changes to it were the pile of clean clothes that Castiel had placed in the wicker chair in the corner. Dean could see his own clothes in there; moved from Sam and Gabriel's room. It wasn't like Castiel had planned this; he was not malicious, but Sam and Gabe had needed the space to put their stuff as well as Alex's.

He changed in the bathroom while Cas did the same in the bedroom. He also brushed his teeth, and could feel the awkwardness rolling off the pair of them like waves. He was nervous to be in the same bed as Cas after last time, but not as nervous as he could be. Castiel was his friend; his best friend. He had to treat it as such.

When he emerged dressed in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, Cas was waiting patiently for him to finish using the bathroom. He had a pair of joggers on, a baggy shirt that was once Dean's hiding a skinny frame. Dean heard him brush his teeth too, while he got into the bed on the side that was closest to the bathroom door. It was where he had woken up, and it seemed like the best place to sleep.

Cas turned off the light by the door as he made his way around to the side of the bed.

"You're sleeping in my place, Dean." His voice was light, playful, and Dean poked his tongue out for him.

He skirted over, so he was now closer to the _other_ door, leading to the hallway. He faced the ceiling as Cas climbed in next to him, between sheets. Dean noted his friend's movements were graceful and controlled, all long limbs and patience. For an angel who had almost become human, he was beautiful.

He laughed to himself.

"Goodnight, Dean." Cas whispered, burrowing into the covers like a child. He was facing Dean, but the hunter didn't have a problem with that. If he was to look over at Cas, all he would see was a pair of eyes and a shock of dark hair peering up at him.

He had no idea how long he laid there for. He couldn't be bothered to open his eyes and check the alarm clock he remembered was on the bedside cabinet. He heard Cas' breathing deepen and even out as he fell into slumber, and he shifted places a little, so he was now lying on his back, head looking towards the bathroom door.

Dean wondered about the events that had transpired between him, the demon and Cas, all independently from each other. He had thought of Cas as _beautiful_.

He heard footfalls on the stairs, not one pair but two, and Dean realised the true extent of his friend's relationship with the demon. He didn't understand, not fully, not yet. Perhaps in time he would.

They stifled laughter behind the wooden door, and Dean couldn't help but listen. The first words were muffled, although recognisably English.

"Don't be acting so camp with me, Crowley."

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of it." He replied. It was silent for a moment, then came the sounds of more stifled laughter. Dean found himself smiling. He'd never heard Bobby laugh like that before. It sounded... Happy.

The sounds of the pair of them faded as they ascended the stairs to the attic, and Dean knew that Crowley wouldn't come down that night, although he would make it look like it in the morning. He was secret with his feelings, Dean thought, but he hadn't been able to help himself with their earlier conversation. The words Crowley said now made sense to Dean, as well as what he had said when they were by the Impala, getting ready to fight the Kappa.

"_If it pleases you, you wouldn't like what makes me happy. You wouldn't understand, not with that thick skull of yours."_

It was because it was so _obvious_ that Dean hadn't understood what Crowley was saying. Bobby made Crowley happy, hence why he was here, staying with two angels and a handful of hunters. Even though he was in danger of being killed by any of the occupants in the house, he stayed because he had wanted to celebrate Christmas with Bobby. There was also the way Bobby had hissed that he would skin Dean alive if he killed Crowley... He had missed it. It was a protective instinct.

Dean rolled over, everything clicking into place around him. He looked on the sleeping form of Cas, and felt his eyes close.

* * *

><p><em>Chapter's finished! I lost about three thousand words on this because I was trying to watch series 6 episode 16 on Sky Player with my laptop, and it caused my laptop to freeze and then crash. I thought I might of have had a document recovery, but no... ¬_¬ It's not much different to how it was originally. <em>

_I loved this chapter. It's got to be my favourite so far. I've made up my mind on how I feel about the Bobby/Crowley pairing, as you can see. I'm sorry Dean's so dense with stuff like this... ._

_*I called Dean's eyes malachite for a very specific reason. Most of you, understandably, won't know myths and legends and information about gemstones, but Malachite is believed to be the protector of children, and is believed to protect them from witches. It also protects against undesirable business relationships, although in Dean's case this would involve Crowley and we can see how that turned out..._

_Malachite is also called the 'mirror to the soul' and is believed to reflect the feelings of the wearer onto others. They say you should keep a piece of malachite in your room to get rid of nightmares. There's also a bit of foreshadowing for this, as malachite is a part of the chakra system; it is the heart. Finally, it is known as the stone of balance in relationships. _

_Tl;dr: Malachite relates to Dean a lot. :)_


	8. Mistletoe Mission

**Helping Hand**

**- Daianta**

Just to let you guys know, I don't own Supernatural. Season 7? We'll leave out how I feel about that...

_Hey guys. I've had a really crappy start to the year. Really bad. . But I figured I couldn't leave you guys hanging for half a year._

_Thank you to all those who showed concern and care over the past few months, as well. I appreciated it so much, you have no idea. _

**Chapter Eight: Mistletoe Mission**

_Word Count: 12,509_

* * *

><p>"Is it working?" Called Sam, sounding curious.<p>

"It looks like it. Old Dean-o's realising that the world around him isn't as simple as he thinks. I feel he's matured."

"So he knows what, exactly?"

"That Bobby's pretty much with Crowley. I had to include it, Sam! He had no idea in the real world and that needed sorting."

A suffering sigh, "Gabriel, Bobby didn't tell Dean because he didn't think it was important. Bear in mind how much Crowley and Dean hate each other."

"Yeah, yeah. I think they've reached some form of understanding here. Maybe it will be slightly different when he wakes up for real, but I think they'll be able to get along."

"What about Castiel?"

"_That_. That is amazing. Dean's changing his mind, slowly. It's not that hard, I know the feeling's there, he just doesn't want to believe it."

"Well, for your sake, Gabriel, I hope he learns soon."

* * *

><p><em>There were flashes of light. A movement up ahead, raising eyes to stare at the full picture. A man with short brown-black hair was elbow deep in soapy water, rinsing dishes. There was laughter in his eyes, and he said something to the person viewing the show. His sleeves were pulled back, dressed in casual jeans and a shirt. His feet were bare on linoleum flooring, one foot bent behind the other. He looked down at the sink and up again, throwing soap suds at the viewer, at Dean. He responded by stepping over, scooping up some of his own and dumping them on Cas' head. He could hear laughter, and Castiel leant in, brushing lips against Dean, who pulled them closer together. Dean had a feeling the dishes were forgotten. <em>

_More flashes, and Dean was sat on dry, coarse grass. There were a few baskets in front of him; he looked around to find himself in a park. Opposite him sat Sam, with Gabriel lying in his lap. He watched as the Archangel touched Sam's cheek, moving up to sweep the hair from his lover's eyes. Dean felt a hand touch his shoulder and found Castiel staring at him. His eyes were deep, pure blue, a large, beaming smile taking up his face. There was cream on his lip from a cake of some sorts, and Dean found he moved without thinking, sweeping the cream away with a gentle brush of his thumb. He swept over Cas' lips again, feeling a tongue lick his thumb, causing the angel to laugh, embarrassed, before looking away._

_The scene merged into another one. Dean was on the floor, hands holding himself up from behind. He was in the process of scrambling to his feet, but had frozen. Castiel had appeared in front of him, arms outstretched on either side, protecting him. There was a blast of something pulsating a menagerie of colours that hit Cas on the shoulder, he faltered but didn't fall. Instead, he moved to arm to point at the... thing that was attacking them, and it exploded. _

_Dean knew the next scene was a direct continuation of the one before. Cas was underneath him, mouth hung open as he gasped. His eyes were closed, and even as Dean slowed down his very obvious movements, his eyes fluttered open, looking up at the human inquisitively. Dean was breathing hard; he could feel the emotions and feelings that were associated with sex. _

_He kissed the angel hard, reverently, drinking him in and making him more than a memory._

"_You're beautiful." He heard himself whisper, although he didn't feel his mouth move. Perhaps this was just a dream, or a memory._

_Cas laughed, emphasising the fact that Dean was buried inside him. He trailed warm, almost feminine hands across the plane of Dean's back, just a hint of fingernails scraping across skin._

"_As are you."_

Dean woke in the morning to find Castiel was gone. He assumed the angel was an early riser, and he had woken up late. His mouth was dry from the dreams he had experienced the night before. Maybe they weren't dreams; they felt more like memories. He would have to ask Cas about it later. They left him breathless and out of control, ambivalent in his feelings. He was unsure of how to react to his own feelings. He looked down at himself as he flung the covers back and suppressed a groan, scrambling to cover himself with the covers and rolling over on his stomach. He was NOT aroused at all, by his little dream with Cas. Dammit. He didn't like Cas like that, no he didn't. At all.

He willed it to go away, not ready to deal with such things yet. He wanted to sulk. He was friends with Castiel; he shouldn't allow his body to do things like this. That being said, it could be a memory. They were dating, after all, and sex was a natural part of that. Was he remembering their sex life? It didn't sound bizarre, they were memories after all.

The little alarm clock on Dean's side (The side he found Castiel in originally) read that it was coming up for 11 in the morning. Surprised that he was up that late, Dean swung himself out of bed and into the bathroom, where he relieved himself and showered, before getting dressed in the bedroom. He wondered what he was going to do today.

He stepped into the hallway and checked the library, finding it empty for once. He knocked before entering Sam and Gabriel's room, only to find that empty as well, the bed unmade and clothes left in a pile on the floor. There were childish screams from downstairs that could only be equated to Alex, and he practically vaulted himself down the stairs in an attempt to see them all.

He was feeling a lot happier now; calmer about what was happening around him. The fact that he didn't feel as awkward sharing a bed with Cas didn't faze him either. He assumed he would be freaked out by it, but he wasn't. He opened the door to the living room and stepped over giant Lego bricks that were strewn across the floor. The place looked like a really strange toyshop. Stuffed animals and plastic toys were thrown everywhere, with the culprit in the body of a nine month old baby. He was sitting with his back to Dean, Ellen cross legged next to him. Bobby was perched on the edge of the sofa, the coffee table having been moved to an empty corner, waving a limp toy bunny around. Alex took it, snatching it with tiny, pudgy hands, and placed the ear in his mouth, turning to face Dean as he heard him come in.

He opened his mouth to squeal, showing four tiny teeth that had come through over time.

Dean picked his way through the destruction of toys and picked the baby up, bouncing him in his arms. The baby squealed in happiness, throwing the bunny at Dean's head by accident. The kid was strong, he noted. He glanced around, to find that Gabriel was nowhere to be seen. Dean wondered if he was out, considering he wasn't in his room.

In the corner of the living room, left of the TV stood a six foot Christmas tree, slightly wonky at the top. It suited the menagerie of people, having a crooked tree. Jo was adding tinsel in methodical circles around the tree's circumference, and there was a box next to her filled with decorations such as baubles and plastic figures. None of them were small enough for Alex to choke on, now that he was at a stage where he put everything in his mouth. There was a pile of lights in the corner, tangled, that would go around the tree as well. Dean imagined them glowing in all different colours, and realised that actually, he was looking forward to Christmas with his important people this year. He wasn't sure if they'd ever done it before.

Castiel was busy fastening shiny plastic types of decoration to the ceiling, stretching them out from one corner of the room to the other. Alex was looking at one in wonder, and his hand shot out to make a grab for it, not realising how short he was. Dean bounced him one more and stooped to allow Alex back on the floor when he began to squirm in his arms.

"So we're actually celebrating Christmas properly?" He asked, moving his weight to one side of his body and folding his arms. He was looking at Castiel, and the way he stretched out on the chair to add the final pin to the edge of the decoration.

"Yep. Get used to it, Winchester."

"Where's Sammy?"

"Out back," Replied Bobby, "Making sure we got everything we need."

Jo turned to talk to Dean, blue-pink tinsel hanging between her hand and the tree. "Don't you have presents for us, Dean?"

He bit back a grimace. He didn't know if he'd even brought presents or, if he had, where he had stashed them for safe-keeping. And sure, he wanted to get them a little something, but did he even have enough money?

"I should get you something really." He agreed, scooting back to perch on the armrest of the sofa.

Jo looked like a cat that had gotten the cream. Her grin was almost obscene, and she turned away from the group to finish up with the tree. Sam came back into the room.

"Okay. We're short by a few items, so I should go and get them from the store."

"Perhaps Dean and I could get them for you." Castiel interjected, stepping down from the chair he was standing on, "He has to buy a gift for you."

"And us!" Jo added indignantly.

Sam turned to Dean, about to say something. He closed his mouth and shook his head, apologising for something he hadn't even said.

He worked around the mess on the floor and sat down, moving over so Dean could sit next to him.

"So you're gonna go shopping? Five days before Christmas? Good luck to you."

"Yeah, well. I need to get stuff, don't I?" Dean replied defensively, practically glaring at Jo. There was no real anger in his eyes, and the woman poked her tongue out at him.

"I brought you all gifts when Dean still had his memory, so we can give them together, but I assume you would want to buy some for Sam and Alex."

Castiel looked at Dean, now sitting on the chair he had previously been standing on. He gently threw the bunny back over to Alexis, who had thrown it in the angel's direction, smiling fondly. Dean was thankful that he had Cas around; it meant he had less to buy. Castiel was good with reading people; he would know what to get them. Dean was no good when it came to presents, he remembered several Christmases he'd shared with Sam when they were younger.

"Yeah, we can do that. It will save us a bit of money, too."

"Honestly, Dean. Money's not the problem anymore." Sam said, bumping his shoulder against his brother.

"What?"

"Duh, dating an Archangel. There are certain things you don't need to worry about anymore."

Dean shook his head, bumping Sam back, "Bitch."

"Jerk."

"Where is Gabriel, anyway? It's too quiet in here."

"He's out on business."

"Heaven?" Jo asked, stepping away from the tree to pick up the lights. She didn't know either.

"No, he's gone with Crowley. They might be taking issues from Heaven down to Earth, though." Sam replied, fiddling with the hands in his lap.

"Sammy," Dean said, catching his brother's movements with his eye, "Relax."

The younger Winchester was practically wringing his hands, finding them more interesting than the world around him. They appeared to be shaking, and Dean refrained from taking them in his own hands to stop them.

"Sorry," He apologised, "I just don't want him getting hurt. Raphael's not the nicest person in the world."

"Raphael is a dick." Castiel said, looking down to the floor, "But if anyone can put him in his place, it's Gabriel."

"See? He'll be fine. I'm sure Crowley would kick up a fuss too if things started getting out of hand."

Dean was gentle, understanding how his brother felt. The Archangels were vicious beings who would tear anything apart when angry. Even if the victim was family. Sam wouldn't cope well if Dean told him to man up and get on with it, and took the 'mothering' tone he hadn't used since Sammy was a kid.

They watched as Jo finished decorating the tree. She refused help from Castiel and Ellen, snapping at them. She'd never decorated a tree by herself before, and wanted to do it as a thank you to Cas and Dean.

She purposefully didn't place the star on the tree; leaving that for Alex to do and Gabriel to see. Since he wasn't here, it would wait.

Sam went back into the kitchen when Alex began to cry out in hunger, and Ellen snatched up the child to smother him with kisses. She retreated into the kitchen behind Sam, eager to help. Having done this before meant Ellen had experience she could pass onto Sam, and she was certainly going to do so.

Castiel moved to go upstairs and Dean, unable to stop himself, followed. Jo and Bobby shared a look between them.

"You give them something?" He asked. Jo shook her head.

"No... Gabe and I planned for Cas and Dean to go shopping today, to bring them closer together. There are things between them that can't be easily sorted out."

"I think they're just acting like teenagers again. Dean will get his memory back, I hope."

Jo nodded, "I hope so, too."

Dean followed the angel into the library. He obviously liked retreating here. Dean felt a little off in the room; he remembered exactly who Castiel had caught in here. He chose to ignore it, however. He just wanted to spend some time with his friend.

"How... How're you feeling, Cas?"

"I wasn't aware you were so eager to start 'chick-flick' moments, Dean." He had a smile, however, and Dean rolled his eyes.

"I was being friendly!"

"I know. I was, uh, playing with you?"

Dean ignored how wrong but how right it sounded.

"So..." He started, indicating Cas should answer his question.

"I am well. Although I'm still upset that you do not remember us, I am learning to adapt."

Dean remembered his dream.

"Hey, Cas, I think I remembered some stuff last night. I'm not sure if it was a dream or memories; I want you to see if they are the real thing." Dean said, looking down at his hands. Castiel, who had sat down on the chair by the desk, leant forwards in anticipation.

"You think you remember?" He sounded excited, and Dean didn't blame him. Any memories meant he was getting his old Dean back.

But in all fairness, all Dean wanted to do was go home. Go to sleep, and wake up back where he was; in his apartment after finishing a mechanic's job. He wasn't even sure if he still had that job, but as it was the Christmas period, he was probably on a holiday. He turned back to Cas, a small smile on his face. Cas looked so eager, he didn't want to disappoint him.

"Do you want to tell me? I can tell you if they are memories or just your dreams." He sounded shocked, breathless, curious. All rolled up into one tiny angel package.

Dean recounted the first two with ease, and was thankful that Castiel told him they were memories. He was slowly, slowly but surely getting his mind back together.

He told Cas the third and fourth memories.

"...And there was this ball of... Light. Stuff. Something that flashed different colours hit you in the shoulder. I didn't know what it was. I still don't."

"That happened too, Dean. You do remember little bits."

Cas took a hold of Dean's hand with both his own, unsure of how to react. Dean was sitting on the other side of the desk, his hand stretched out across the top so Cas could hold them. He'd seen his friend with a variety of emotions, but none as strong as this. Dean supposed Cas would want to know everything.

"There was another one, too. I, uh, I don't know how to say it..." Dean was growing embarrassed. He would obviously not inform Cas that he had experienced certain feelings over what he had dreamt/remembered.

Cas merely cocked his head to the side in his usual manner, and Dean was thankful there were parts of Cas that would never change. His blue eyes looked bright and curious, and Dean began tentatively, unsure how to tell his friend that he may have been dreaming about the pair of them getting it on with each other. In a total cliché moment, as well.

He sighed, and began to recount the final dream.

* * *

><p>Gabriel was panting, almost crouched down on all fours. He had a hand by his side, and another holding him up, one leg bent at a slightly odd angle behind him. There were three angels in front of him, not what he had planned <em>at all<em>. His instilled desire was to burn them into little tiny fragments and dance on the remnants until he had sated his desire, but that would not look well. He could fight Heaven all he wanted, but he had to have angels who were loyal to him. Going around and destroying everything holy in his path was not the way forwards.

The fact was, it was Raphael that was the main issue. He was a domineering force as a part of the Host of Heaven, and was poisoning the minds of the angels underneath them all. If Gabriel had remained in Heaven, would he have ended up like his brother? Presumably not. Raphael was angry at everyone, mainly his younger sibling, and longed for blood. The reason why? Gabriel was with a human. If Raph wasn't so human-phobic, it wouldn't be so bad; Sam did have a habit of pissing creatures off.

But no. Gabriel wasn't even entirely sure why he'd put himself in such a place. He had taken himself out of the dream-land he'd placed Dean in, to protect the very man he had so much fun torturing.  
>Raphael was growing weary of Castiel's unwavering trust and commitment to Dean, and longed to change that. He had long given up trying to sway Gabriel away from Sam, but now that they were due a child, Raphael seemed almost unwilling to come between them. Children were sacred.<p>

Gabriel glanced to the angels. One of them was a Grigori, a watcher angel. Evidentially, he was siding with Raphael and keeping tabs on the lot of them. Gabe fought to remember his name, but came up a blank. He decided on an insult, but remain Archaic about it.

"You are following an _iri,_ Watcher. You shouldn't be here." _An insult indeed._

"I serve whomever chains me, Archangel. Watch your tongue."

An _iri_ was given to Archangels who chain watchers and get them to do their bidding. It was an insult, a different way of calling them obedient slavers.

Gabriel saw the way his wings flamed; Watchers were beings of fire and air. The air around him shimmered even in the early morning, and Gabe rolled his eyes at the power display. It didn't affect him.

"You still shouldn't be here."

"Grigori are meant to be bound to the valleys of the Earth until Judgement day. Since your little rats stopped it, we've been set free without redemption."

The Archangel settled himself down onto the floor, carefully checking the wound on the side of his leg. He and Crowley had been ambushed by the three angels, the Watcher technically referred to as a fallen Angel. He was unlike Lucifer, however; only referred to as fallen because he had once taken a human lover. He was demoted to a Grigori, and had been forced to sleep with the rest of them until the day of Judgement; the Apocalypse.

Gabriel had often wondered if he would be demoted to a Watcher. He had taken a human lover in Sam, although the taboo was there because Sam was Gabriel's brother's vessel. However, the very obvious absence of God, of his Father, pushed any thoughts of being demoted out of his mind. For one, there was no longer the threat of an Apocalypse. Secondly, he was an Archangel; he wouldn't necessarily fall.

His head swivelled over to where Crowley kneeled, trying to force the blade embedded in his knee out of him. Every time he touched it his hands would burn, and he was forced to let it go.

He originally hadn't intended to have Crowley follow him outside the box he had placed them in, but realised he needed an ally.

He found himself able to trust the demon, too, which was unlike him. Not that Gabriel was racist to supernatural beings, but angels and demons should never usually get on with each other. On their way over to the meeting spot where Gabriel was meant to speak with Balthazar, the angels had attacked and Crowley had defended Gabriel quite spectacularly. Almost as strongly as a long-time friend.

He'd also informed Crowley of what was really happening. While it was easy to place Dean in dreamland and add copies of humans, demons were able to sense a part of themselves that had been recreated and locate where that piece was. At the library where the angel and the demon had spoken, Gabriel realised Crowley was onto him, and had been his 'normal' self for a short period of time. He'd allowed the copy to continue in his place, only sneaking in for brief looks. He'd observed and calculated, and had taken over his copy to follow Gabe into the real world and try to knock some sense into the angel. It hadn't ended well for the demon, but they formed a truce, and an understanding. If it meant Dean got over his moping, it was all that mattered.

"Don't touch the flaming sword, Crowley! It will burn you to a crisp."

Even from here Gabriel could see the shiny burns that covered the demon's hands; unable to heal it himself. Being an Archangel, he was able to heal anything, so he would be the one lugged with healing the demon and getting them back to Dean's dreamland before the occupants grew worried.

"Well it hurts!" He growled back, getting to his feet and dodging a blow from a flaming whip. This was something different.

The angel was Kushiel, a bitch most commonly seen punishing those in Hell. He was a true angel, not fallen like Lucifer, and punished those who were once holy but lost their faith. Mainly it was angels who gave up their powers to become human, or current religious leaders for spreading false information on a religion that shouldn't be touched. The amount of times they had mentioned how Michael would save them all... It was sick. If only they knew the truth.

It was odd that Kushiel go for Crowley, who himself had a proficiency for fire. Gabe could see it blaze in his eyes now, and his anger grew exponentially. The pain seemed to fade away and he burned himself once more, pulling the metal out of his knee with a sickening sound. Gabriel could see how he clamped his mouth shut to prevent the cry of pain that wanted to be freed.

The Archangel had more pressing matters. The Watcher and his companion, an angel by the name of Samael, were approaching.

He was wearing a vessel; he looked about thirty with hair cut just below his ears, a dark brown colour that reflected light when he turned his head. He was in a pair of ripped denim jeans and a worn, grey shirt, as if plucked from his home on a day off from work. Samael had an ugly grin on his lips, a glare in his eyes that would freeze lava.

Samael was known as the accuser, seducer and destroyer. It wasn't hard to see why Raphael had used these three to intercept the angel and the demon. A torturing angel to get information out of them, a Watcher to find them and another angel to destroy them when finished. Gabriel wasn't entirely sure what his brother's plan was, but it was big. Bigger than they had originally imagined. Gabriel wasn't sure if this was simply about loving humans anymore.

He heard the crack of a whip followed by a hiss of flaring fire; he wasn't surprised to see Crowley lit up in flames. Was he really that angry? Hellfire burned hotter than anything else, and the only way to fight fire was with fire. He was curious to see if an angel could beat the King of the Crossroads.

A dart landed in front of Gabriel and he retreated back in time to miss the explosion, throwing a thousand tiny needles in all different directions.

The Destroyer _tsked_ in response, rolling a ball around in his hands. It looked like mercury.

"I missed. Do you want to tell us why you oppose Raphael so much?"

Gabe laughed, "Nope, I'm perfectly okay keeping quiet. Besides, you're not worth my time. As an Archangel, I order you to leave."

His eyes were hard as he stared down the Grigori and the angel, but they seemed to ignore him.

"We are not leaving, Archangel." The Watcher growled.

"Please, I have a name. I'd appreciate it if you'd use it. It's Gabriel. _Ga-bri-el_. Rinse and repeat."

The mercury ball was thrown at his head by Samael, which the Archangel teleported around to dodge. Where it landed on the floor it hissed and spluttered, destroying the grassland they were on, leaving a small patch of dry earth. Gabriel was sure nothing would grow there ever again.

"Touchy, aren't we?" He added, flinging the angel back with a flick of his wrist. The Watcher flew for him as Samael crashed to the ground ten feet from where he had originally been.

"Enough! We have orders to destroy you!"

Gabriel latched on to the Grigori as he barrelled into him. They fell, tumbling. One of the fiery wings scorched Gabe's cheek, but it healed before the skin could blister. He rather liked this vessel, and he had no intention of scratching it up.

"No can do, firebug. Got stuff to live for, remember?"

"We can obliterate them if you are willing to watch."

It was Samael who hissed, in a crouch where he had finally regained control of himself. He had a look of glee, as if he wanted to rip Gabe's important people apart in front of him.

Gabriel narrowed his eyes at the threat, kneeling over the Grigori, and felt the air around him tense. He _squeezed_ with his mind, concentrating solely on Samael. When he stopped getting to his feet, Gabe grinned.

_Gotcha_.

He raised a hand and clicked his fingers. The angel exploded. It was more like Samael's limbs were ripped apart from his body, and chopped up into little tiny pieces; wings included. It only took a second, but Gabriel revelled in it. He usually didn't like killing his own kind, his brothers, but threatening his family like that was a risk he wasn't going to take.

The Watcher let fly at him with a barrage of punches, only one of which hit him. It caused him to stagger back from the being, who got to his feet slowly and gracefully. He procured an angel sword out of nowhere, and Gabriel recognised it as Raphael's. _Things must be serious_, Gabe thought, _Raphael doesn't like sharing his toys_.

Before the Grigori could attempt to plunge the blade into Gabriel's chest, he made a strangled noise that sounded both confused and in pain. There was a blade's edge just peeking out of an armoured layer, which glistened silver with Grigori blood. There was a sizzling sound similar to frying meat, and the Watcher's fiery wings vanished from the bottom up, tendrils of smoke rising slowly. There was no light leaving his eyes, as a fallen and as a Watcher, they did not have the same Grace like other angels did. The sword clanged to the ground just once before vanishing back to, presumably, Raphael.

The watcher turned to Gabriel, hissing a curse in Enochian. Gabriel rolled his eyes, "Fuck you too. Go back to sleep."

The knife was removed, and the body fell, causing Gabriel to lock eyes with Balthazar.

"Brother, you do so enjoy getting into trouble, don't you?"

"You don't know the half of it."

Balthazar clasped Gabriel on the shoulders, over the dead Watcher, as a scream echoed in the area and a body fell to the floor. Crowley ambled over, slightly limping. The knee of his expensive trousers was bloody and ripped, and Gabriel clicked his fingers to heal the demon.

"Did you know him?" Gabe asked off-handily, looking over the dead bodies.

"Who? Kushiel? Not really. We'd met in passing. I've handed souls I've had deals with to him before, but not very often. It's hard to make deals with religious bastards."

He smirked, and nodded towards Balthazar, who was looking at him with curious regard.

"I think I like your accomplice, Gabriel. It's too bad he's a demon."

"True. I think I can trust him."

"You did let me in and out of the box." Crowley replied, raising an eyebrow. If Gabriel didn't trust him now, where did it leave them all?

"Box? What box?" Balthazar sounded inquisitive, head cocked to the side. It reminded Crowley of Castiel, and thought to himself that a lot of angels seemed to learn a lot from each other; in both knowledge and mannerisms.

"That's what I'm here to talk to you about." Gabriel said, cheerful, as if he hadn't just killed several of his brethren with the help of a demon who had avoided death during the Apocalypse.

Gabriel regaled the sad, epic love affair between Dean and Castiel, which Balthazar had seen with his own eyes, and how he had locked Dean in an imaginary world where everyone believed he and Cas were in a relationship. Balthazar found it humorous, and was eager to learn more.

"So we want you to come over for Christmas dinner!" Gabriel finished, waving his hands with a flourish to finish the sentence. They had navigated their way to a bar on the other side of the world, where it was night and the bars were open. In the real world, the day was breaking, and Crowley wouldn't be caught dead in a café; he thought that Balthazar would be the same.

"So I'll just _pretend_ that Dean and Cassie are together, and try to get them together subtly?"

The Archangel nodded, downing a shot of whatever the hell Balthazar had ordered. It had a sweet taste, good enough for him, but Crowley didn't look like he was enjoying it.

"How come Mr. Suits over here gets free reign in this little box and I don't?"

He didn't sound jealous, merely curious.

"Because I'm trusted, Wings." Crowley replied, adding his own response to a nickname.

"He's been there pretty much since it started, stealing his clone's memories like a proper demon. If you can behave yourself, I'll see you for Christmas dinner?"

Balthazar nodded in response to Gabriel, who was currently pouring out a sixth shot. He should stop drinking soon.

Gabriel spoke when Balthazar nodded, "As long as you don't bring along Melchior and Caspar. I don't want them giving my son gold and frankincense."

He was teasing, and Balthazar rose up above the threat. Crowley bit back a snort, and drunk another shot to occupy himself.

"I assure you I don't know who you're on about. I believe that I'm the one who brings the gold."

"You'd rather steal it!" Crowley objected, before Gabriel could speak. Evidentially he was thinking the same thing, for he nodded in agreement.

"I really don't know what these people were on when they wrote the bible."

"It's a kid's book, really. Not that I'd read it to Alex..."

"So what part did you really play, Wings?" Crowley asked, curious.

Balthazar regarded the demon with an even look, levelled through years of being able to play people at their own game. When he saw no hostility in the demon, only curiosity, he allowed the twisted soul to hear a pretty basic run-through of his life story. At least, the one surrounding the bible.

"It's a classic case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, right? Gabriel here did the whole speech with Mary and Joseph about Jesus, led them to the stables, _blah blah blah_. I'm looking around Earth; the other angels think I'm dead or have become human. I get into this crowd of astrologers, who think they can tell the future and crap from the stars. I give them information I intercepted from Heaven, get hailed a hero, and Melchior and Caspar and I follow a star Gabriel whispered to me to follow. We get to Jesus, give him gifts, and I'm put in the bible as some weird king of some sort. Fast forward two thousand years, and I've got five year olds cosplaying as me in school nativity plays. Even if bloody none of this crap happened in December."

"You could have backed out at any minute, you know. You were still an angel. You still had your grace."

Balthazar bristled as he defended himself, although he spoke rather sheepishly, "You all thought I was dead. Cas was _grieving_ my loss, I wasn't about to just pop back up again."

"I knew you were alive, jerk. I wasn't about to give Castiel hope though. I knew you'd pull a stunt and skip outta Heaven."

"Only because you had done the same! Quite frankly, angels should have realised I was copying you when I left."

"From my experience with angels," Crowley interjected, "They are rather stupid. They might see the bigger picture, but they fall short with the finer details. That's why demons have been good at setting traps. The devil's in the details."

"Well yeah," Balthazar agreed plainly, "And have you seen how many demons have been easily killed? They don't look to more than five minutes in the future."

Crowley smirked, "An oversight. I assure you I do not allow things to happen for no reason."

"You are different from a lot of other demons, you know that?"

It was perhaps the only way Balthazar would express his understanding of Crowley, and all three of them were willing to accept it for what it was and move on.

"We must be heading back now. I've got an appointment with my son I'm in no position to miss. Thanks for your help, Bal."

"If I had known you were going to be ambushed by Raphael's sorry lot, I would have made our meeting point so much closer to your home. Expect me for two on the 25th."

Gabriel nodded and extended a hand to Balthazar. They were similar in a lot of ways, more than Gabriel let on. If Bal knew of this, he didn't mention it, and Gabe was in no hurry to show their similarities. Being an angel, uniqueness was a rare trait, and although they may have been similar to a certain extent, there was a lot that made them different. Gabriel had a sweet tooth exacerbated by the fact that he had pretended to be a Trickster; Balthazar had a penchant for stealing. Both lied and cheated to get what they wanted, but went about it in two different ways. Gabe had the power to move the world around him to get what he wanted, Balthazar stuck to the shadows and hit hard and fast, moving on before people would suspect him. It wasn't as if they'd find him; Bal was better at hiding than the Archangel.

He scowled. A part of the reason why he'd been discovered was because of Sam and Dean. Sam was good at spotting details; he had been the one to realise who the Trickster was in the café when Dean was constantly killed. It had been Dean to put the final pieces together and to discover who he really was. Gabriel wasn't going to lie; he was glad Dean had put his brain to good use for once. He couldn't handle hurting Sam anymore than he had already done. The man practically hated him, and Gabriel was so hung up over this... kid, that he was unable to think straight. When he'd died, he vowed to come back and try to court Sam.

The rest was history.

Gabriel flew back to Dean and Castiel's house, taking less than a second. No one saw two men leave the bar suddenly, or how the third seemed to melt into darkness and never appear again.

* * *

><p>Dean was blushing so hard he felt like he was on fire. He'd told Castiel exactly what he'd dreamt about, down to the letter. Hell, he would be able to tell Cas how many eyelashes he had in the dream; they had been that close.<p>

"I... I really don't know what to say, Dean. The night I was injured saving you was the night Sam was put into hospital. He'd broken a few bones Gabriel didn't feel right repairing himself."

"So we didn't... On that night?"

Dean purposefully avoided the phrase, lest he rile up the angel again. It was like treading on eggshells, although he knew Cas wasn't likely to explode. He was concerned. He didn't want to say something that would upset his friend, make him relive the fact Dean wasn't his lover anymore.

Although, with the way Cas was looking at him, he was half tempted to just _take_ the angel. He was used to looks from women, but not from Cas. It was exhilarating, to be frank. Dean hadn't been expecting it.

Cas shook his head, "No. I'm sorry, Dean. That was a dream on your part."

Internally, Dean swore. Cas must have read his mind, for he smiled, hiding it when he realised he was prying into people's thoughts.

"So did you like what you see?" Castiel was looking at the ground, voice sounding less strained and more relaxed. There was a nervousness to it that Dean had never heard before, and he watched the angel for a moment as he stood on the spot, gently twisting left and right via his hips, like a schoolgirl talking to her crush.

It hit Dean violently, made his stomach flip and his heart flutter. Was Cas... Was Castiel _flirting_ with him?

He decided to beat the angel at his own game.

"Perhaps. I think it depends on how you look at it."

He took a tentative step forwards, ready to spring back if Cas seemed upset by it. Instead he leant forwards slightly, as if eager. Dean could feel something rear up beside him and around him, almost suffocating in its intensity.

He didn't know what it was, and felt himself brush up against it. It felt like Castiel, like home. Maybe this was Castiel's way of ensuring he was safe and home. Or this might be his Grace. The human wasn't used to such contact.

"Well how did you want to look at it, Dean? Did it look..." He paused, as if trying to say the right word, "Good?" He finished gingerly, still not having the courage to look at Dean. It was now or never. Already, something was changing between them that couldn't be reversed. Dean was unsure if he was ready. Was he able to be the missing part to Cas? Was he ready for his other half, the missing part?

But then Castiel looked at him, all wide, blue eyes and innocence and he felt himself slipping; the mask he carefully controlled around the man moving aside, just for a second. Maybe Dean wanted this. The more he looked at Cas fully, the more strongly he felt.

Dean had a hand on the side of the table. He felt Cas' fingertips brush against his skin, and felt it tingle. The _thing_ that was around him vibrated with energy, and Dean was sure he saw a flicker of colour. He now assumed it was Cas' Grace protecting him, showing him that the angel would never mean him any harm.

"Cas." Dean whispered. They locked eyes, finally. Dean was astounded by their depths, never having realised how stunning they were. He realised he sounded like a girl. When had he started feeling like this? He never, ever found Castiel attractive like this, he had never wanted to taste the man in front of him so badly before. Maybe it was the dream he had this morning. But he found the world was becoming increasingly crowded with all the _maybes_ and _possiblys_ and _perhaps_ that, just once, he should be selfish.

Castiel went to say something, Dean went to incline his head forwards and the door burst open on them.

Dean took a huge leap backwards, even as Castiel did the same, blind fear taking over his pale features. He soon settled into an annoyed look, even as he peered around Dean to see who was at the door.

Dean felt like he had been slapped. Gabriel stood in the doorway, a mixture of confusion and enjoyment in his eyes.

"Well, didn't expect to feel such sexual tension in a library. Of course, I'd need Sammy here to challenge you."

Dean snarled and forced his way past Gabriel, brushing shoulders against his brusquely. The human didn't apologise and stomped his way down the stairs. Gabriel watched him go and turned back to Castiel.

"There's an awful lot of Grace in here, don't you think? Don't tell me you were covering him with it? Castiel?" He prodded, stepping from the doorway into the room, occupying the spot Dean had just been standing in.

The lesser angel growled and moaned at the same time, a strangled sound that forced him to collapse on the metal chair heavily.

"You have pretty much just cock-blocked me, Gabriel. That's what's happened."

Gabriel bit back a smirk, "Getting physical were we?"

"About to, brother. I think he was going to kiss me. I was worried he would do something else, and we would be back to square one."

"Naw, he's starting to see sense, Cassie. He just needs a little nudge. Besides, you can both talk about your feelings when you go shopping together in what, an hour?"

Castiel had forgotten about that. He'd been so absorbed with getting Dean to notice him, he hadn't realised that time was getting on. Dean hated flying, but that was the way they were going to do it, he swore to himself. Dean had to get over his stupid fear.

Still, he thought back to what had just transpired between them. A part of it didn't feel real. He'd had to touch Dean to ensure it wasn't some sort of realistic dream, and felt his heart surge when the human had responded. And his brother had to ruin it. When he was sure he was seeing the real Dean again. If he had allowed himself to do so, he would have sighed out of contempt. Gabriel had a habit of walking into things he should have just ignored. He wasn't ignorant; no, far from it. Gabriel enjoyed playing a dangerous game, where he and Dean were the victims.

Although the look on Gabriel's face gave nothing away. Castiel had learned to look deeper. There was extra adrenaline in Gabe's vessel, leaving his limbs shaky with tiny aftershocks. He could feel the alcohol from here, not enough to cause alarm, but enough to make Castiel realise something had happened.

His first thoughts were on Raphael. Things had been too quiet since Gabriel had beaten him half to death in Heaven, and Cas knew he would pop up eventually. He thought deeper, feeling out the presences of the others. The blistering white, innocent light that was Alex, surrounded by the scarred soul of Sam, who held him underneath his feet in the kitchen. Nearby was Ellen, whose presence was a soothing feminine one, not as blemished as the others but scarred too, broken by the death of her husband. Jo bore those scars as well, to a lesser extent. She was the purest next to Alex, a hunter who wanted to hunt but was overseen far too often by her protective mother.

Cas sought out Dean's presence, angry and confused. He was pacing in the living room, Jo sitting on the sofa in front of him.

If Castiel could feel his confusion from here, did that mean he didn't want it? No, he had been quite willing when he had leant into Cas. He had meant to kiss him. If that didn't give the angel a huge boost, what would? He assumed the confusion was from his feelings. Having lost his memory, he had reverted back to his previous state of bizarre, self-loathing womaniser. Cas knew differently. Dean went to those women because he didn't know where to find love that would define him.

If Castiel was a romantic, then he would say Dean had simply been waiting for him. God knew how long Cas had waited for Dean, it was only fair that he return the favour.

There was also annoyance in Dean's spirit, that Castiel could feel as if it touched him. He wasn't annoyed with the fact that they had gotten close, it was because Gabriel had walked in on them. He probably felt embarrassed.

Cas could hear the hum of voices downstairs and listened, unable to help himself. He concentrated on the soul of Bobby, sitting on the edge of the sofa as Crowley informed them of what had transpired on his and Gabriel's business trip. There wasn't a void where Crowley was, per se, but as he was a demon, his twisted soul was blackened and burned at the edges. There was a sliver of red and gold, too, that held no meaning to Cas' eyes until he peered deeper. He kept what he saw to himself.

And then he looked at Gabriel. He could see the Archangel bursting at the seams in the vessel, golden sunlight that in no way matched the Morning Star but then again, he didn't have to. Gabe was unique in his own way, and that was all that mattered. Cas remembered how the other Archangels looked, and how they blotted out the sun when they were together, commanding all the other angels with a finesse Cas didn't or couldn't master.

"Don't." Gabriel warned, reading the thoughts of his younger brother, "Don't compare us like that. They don't have the right to be revered by you."

"You were all-powerful, Gabriel. It was hard to not fear and respect you all."

"To be fair, none of us deserve it. Lucifer... Lucifer had a point, to a certain extent. He loved our Father the most, would die for him, and he couldn't understand why he was supposed to put his creator underneath humans. Michael was the eldest sibling, always doing as Father decreed. To cross Michael would be a bad mistake. But would you be able to cast your own sibling out of Heaven? And for Raphael to stand aside and allow it to happen. A part of me wished I had remained for longer, so that I may have put a stop to this stupidity."

"Lucifer wanted to destroy the world." Castiel dead-panned.

"I know." Gabriel's eyes flashed, "And I would have let it happen, had it not been for Sam. I would have called upon the angels to return to Heaven and simply ate sweets until the whole thing blew over."

"Sam does not deserve your kindness, brother."

Gabriel smirked, "That was sarcasm, Cas. I'm impressed." He sighed before continuing, "I first met Sam when I was still pretending to be the Trickster. Played them pretty well, too. Seeing Sam's anger and rage moved me a little, and from that moment on, I always had the bloody Winchester in my sights. Well, before that actually, but I was still technically calling myself God's Messenger when I stumbled across Sam as a soul."

"When you saw him, you knew that you would do whatever you could to protect him. That you would always love him, no matter what choices he made or what he did to you. You would always love him, no matter what he became."

Castiel was speaking out of wisdom, for once better than an Archangel. Gabriel nodded sadly, "I never realised until today how so many people want us gone from this world."

"Raphael will never be able to split the pair of you. If I know you like I do, you would die again for Sam Winchester, the same as I have done for Dean."

"And half of which he still doesn't know, Castiel. You didn't tell him about the first lot of watchers, did you?"

The angel shook his head, embarrassed, "There was never a right moment to say I had been ambushed and my being destroyed. And I'm only here because you brought me back."

"What right to the other angels have, trying to dictate who we love?" Gabriel sounded scandalised, even as he rose from his seated position on the edge of the table, and turning to look out of the window. The snowy landscape of suburbia smiled back at him.

"I will not allow a pathetic elder sibling to take what is rightfully mine."

He informed Castiel of what had happened to him earlier; of the Watcher and the Destroyer and the Torturer, being helped by Balthazar. He finished by informing him that he was coming over for Christmas dinner, and how it was supposed to be a surprise.

"Balthazar and I have a lot of catching up to do."

Castiel hadn't seen his friend since the Apocalypse had been averted, when they'd all hidden low to escape demonic wrath and were trying to bring Sam back from the cage. Balthazar had been reluctant to help them; unwilling to be dragged back into Heaven's debate over feelings and morals. Cas hadn't blamed him.

He sighed, "It would be best if we get back to whatever we were doing. Are you going to inform Bobby of what happened?"

"If Crowley hasn't told him already. I'm sure Dean would care, but not enough to show it." Gabriel's smirk was contradictory to the pain in his eyes. He had come close to losing the battle; he should have never gone so far to meet one angel. Thankful he hadn't been alone, Gabriel turned away from his brother.

"I'm sorry I walked in on you. Truly." And he was. Although Castiel had walked in on him and Sam in a _very_ compromising position, they were already dating and could brush it off with a laugh. With Cas and Dean, it was something more. They were trying to repair a one-sided relationship that neither of them completely understood.

"You'd best get Dean and buy me some more sugar; I think I need it."

He walked away massaging his temples, moving to the guest room rather than downstairs. Castiel would be sure to let Sam know where his partner was, when he went downstairs to fetch Dean.

He moved to the master bedroom, where he collected a few of his things. He hesitated beside the wardrobe, unsure, before pulling the door open and clutching at the old trench coat that had been placed in there for its own well being. It _defined_ Castiel; the coat was the first thing people remembered about the angel.

He hadn't worn it since he and Dean had moved in together. There was no need to; Cas had humanised himself over time and had taken to changing clothes regularly, to fit in with the world around them. They didn't exactly want to draw attention to themselves.

He put it on, feeling the familiar weight on his shoulders. He patted a hand down the side, affectionate. It had been too long.

He left the room and made his way downstairs, where Gabriel simply appeared into existence. Alex squarked and made a beeline for him, crawling on hands and knees clumsily. Gabriel bent down to pick him up, and cradled him close.

"You been a good boy, Alex?"

Even from here, Castiel could see the fear in Gabriel's eyes. He was worried about losing them. Cas vowed to never allow that to happen. Gabriel turned around to face the Christmas tree, "Were you waiting for me? You wanna put the star on top?"

He was laughing as Alex giggled, stretching out hands to poke and prod at Gabriel's face. Jo brought the star over and gave it to Alex, who tried to put it into his mouth. Cas stood beside Sam as they smiled together, and he looked across the room to see Dean standing there, arms folded, leaning against the wall. He was smiling, but his eyes were looking at Castiel. Cas felt himself flushing under the gaze, and turned back to watch Alex.

When he looked at Dean again, he had a bigger smile, but he was watching Alex as Gabriel lifted him up, and the kid practically threw the star onto the top of the tree. Castiel could see the tendrils of Grace wrapped around Alexis, and the star. It shimmered around them like gold; glittery and warm. He could see it wind around Sam, too, near his heart and surprisingly his wrists. Castiel didn't question it.

When Gabriel had brought Alex down, star in place thanks to some angelic interference, Cas turned to get Dean, only to find he wasn't there. He was about to call out in confusion when the man strode out of the kitchen, pulling on his jacket. He had been told, then, that they were leaving now. When he was sure that the hunter was adequately protected from the cold, he leaned up and touched Dean's forehead to blink them out of existence.

To say shopping was an easy experience was wrong. Dean had flustered like a girl over what to buy, unable to decide. He brought so many colourful things for Alex that Castiel was sure he was going to see colours when he closed his eyes. He knew the kid needed things to keep him engaged because he bored easily, but this was beyond a joke. As well as presents, Dean had brought tubes of wrapping paper and sellotape. And Castiel had offered, innocently, to carry some of them, but Dean was having none of it. He was lugged down already, unwilling to take help from someone else. But the stuffed toys were going to drag him under the snow.

The high street they were on was crowded with people, the snow beneath their feet turned to slush that tripped unwitting people and caused them to slide. Dean had almost gone over once; Cas had a firm hand on his arm now to keep him upright. They were both in boots, but Cas was able to endure the cold more than Dean, whose cheeks were pink with exertion and cold. They took their time, leisurely, as others bustled around them, last minute shopping.

Dean had almost finished with Alex's presents. They'd decided to keep the presents Cas got for a few of their guests as joint gifts, if Dean didn't know what to get them by the end of their trip. There was a book that Castiel wanted to show to Dean; unsure if he should give it to Sam, or if Dean should do so. It was a book that hadn't seen the light of day since the near beginning of the universe; written by Gabriel's hand. The penmanship was unblemished and the pages still a pure, pristine white. Gabriel didn't really remember it; but Castiel had always marvelled at the words. Gabriel was Father's messenger; he _always_ had a way with words.

It was a novel, really, that Cas was sure his sibling didn't want to or couldn't remember. It outdated the Winchester Gospels; they paled in comparison to this. Gabriel wasn't a prophet, but if he dreamt, then he would write. It was a series of snapshots, really. They jumbled together, broken in their timeline, but there was no faulting who the people Gabriel had written about were. They had no names, no real faces, but one knew. Gabriel had been dreaming of Sam since the beginning of planet Earth.

Castiel, sneaking a sly glance towards Dean, was sure that the elder Winchester would complain about how many priceless artefacts from the beginning of time his brother received. Dean wasn't going to be the only one. Castiel's gift to him was more of a personal thing, one that he was sure Gabriel wouldn't give Sam for a while. It was a promise that meant a lot more than people understood.

"Hey, Cas," Dean said, using Castiel's hand on his arm to lug the angel into another store, this time a jewellery shop, "I figured you needed something that wasn't an angel relic."

Castiel looked confused, brushing a stray piece of snow from the front of his coat as he followed the hunter around the shop slowly.

He wasn't stupid; he knew what being in a jewellery store meant. He and Dean had agreed to never get necklaces and rings for each other; mainly because Dean wasn't into that sort of thing and Castiel had an aversion to human trinkets.

He basked in the glow of the lit cabinets, allowing his companion to ponder and awe over the shiny materials and the grossly overpriced tags that were attached. Of all the things Dean wanted to get him...

This was obviously a different Dean to the one he had fallen in love with, but he found he didn't mind. He realised that the human had regressed back to over a year ago; when materials weren't precious to him, but they had a story to tell. He would let Dean have these few minutes to browse and buy whatever he wished.

Still, he had a niggling feeling between his shoulder blades that indicated something was wrong, but he couldn't bring himself to care over what it was, even as he itched at it casually. Dean was purchasing something, keeping himself as a barrier between Castiel and the glass-fronted box near the back of the shop. Castiel rolled his eyes. His present was going to _absolutely rock_ this year, when he was sure he was using the phrase right.

It was dark when they teleported to the front door of their home. Castiel didn't want to intrude on the people who still resided there; four perfectly good hunters and a demon would not bode well for them if they suddenly appeared. Gabriel could get away with it; the only thing that could kill him was an angel killing sword, which none of the house's occupants currently held.

Dean opened the door to his home, Castiel standing silently next to him. He was worn out from shopping; unusual in itself. He was an angel, he didn't actually need to sleep. Still, the day had been long, and he would welcome any chance of relief that came his way. He was calm in Dean's presence, and was thankful for the hunter.

Their experience earlier made Castiel feel hopeful. Especially when he peered around a frozen Dean.

Standing on a chair in the hallway, looking guilty but not trying to hide what she was doing was Ellen, one hand held up to attach something to the ceiling.

Dean looked up, confused, even as Castiel looked around him.

_Shit._

_Mistletoe_. He hadn't been expecting it, really. He'd been too occupied trying to untangle the feelings in his body and mind to realise that there were couples and friends in the house they were staying in, and how they'd want to stick to tradition for once. Even if tradition didn't really dictate their lives.

Nevertheless, Ellen stepped from the chair daintily, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Well?" She smirked, clearly enjoying Dean's panic stricken face opposed to Cas' confusion. She loved teasing her boys.

"Is that..." Dean started. Ellen finished for him.

"Mistletoe. Yup. You know what it means."

Dean looked up, letting out a shaky breath when he realised he and Cas were directly above a branch of the green plant. He noted Ellen had lined the hallway with it. No doubt there would be some hidden in strategic places, too.

Gabriel appeared at the top of the stairs, curious as to what was going on. When he saw the plant lining the ceiling, his eyes lit up.

"Oh? Cool, you guys gonna make out?" He grinned to himself, slowly walking down the stairs.

Dean moved further into the hallway to allow Cas to move inside, and to shut the door behind him.

Dean realised with a thudding heart that he would have to kiss Castiel; no mere accident this time or misguided conceptions as to the situation they were in. They had almost kissed earlier; Cas had been flirting and Dean had responded to that. He was watching the angel when Alex put the star on the tree, and had felt something stir when he blushed and looked away.

Gabriel stopped in the crowded hallway, looking up at the mistletoe directly above him, as if it had personally offended the people he held close. Or perhaps it was because it was up so high, and he was so short. It was in front of the living room door, meaning if two people were to try to walk through, they would have to kiss.

Dean went to speak, obviously trying to argue his case, but Ellen cut in, silencing him with a wave of her hand.

"No. Don't try to get out of this one, boy."

"You don't mind if I steal some of this, do you?" Gabriel said, completely ignoring the looks he received from the three others in the hallway, "I think I'll find Sammy."  
>Gabriel could have just brought the offensive plant to him with a click of his fingers, but he seemed insistent on grabbing it himself. The Archangel ignored the burning glare from Dean and stepped on Ellen's chair, untacking the leaves stuck above him.<p>

He was enjoying his luck; he wouldn't have thought on someone bringing in mistletoe. It gave him an excuse now to break Castiel's sex-ban, even if he was going to break it anyway. His luck was broken when the living room door opened in front of him, and a very curious, now very _unlucky _demon decided to stick his head around the door.

He looked confused, and looked up to glare at the Archangel. He saw sight of the green leaves mixed with white berries in Gabriel's hand, scowling.

"Please don't tell me this isn't what it looks like." He groaned, feeling the strength sap from him as he leaned against the door frame. He was not locking lips with an angel.

Gabriel frowned in response, apparently offended, "I was taking it down actually. It's your fault you wanted to interfere."

He jumped from the chair, twirling the plant in one hand. The angel and the demon stared at each other; one obviously trying to unnerve the other.

Dean watched the display with something bubbling under his skin. They really would not work well together. Besides, they would have their work cut out trying to stop Bobby slaughtering Gabriel, and Sam's silent fury that his angelic partner would swap saliva with a demon. After all, Sam had been in the same situation.

Dean tried to inject some humour into the increasingly bizarre situation they had found themselves in, "Well, you know how this works. Tradition, and all that..."

Crowley winked at Gabriel, who responded by blowing a kiss.

"I don't do tradition." They announced at the same time. Crowley retreated into the living room, practically slamming the door shut, while Gabriel disappeared from the spot he was occupying in a flurry of wings.

A muffled shout from upstairs indicated where Gabriel had gone, and Dean rolled his eyes before turning back to Ellen, who had been quiet. By the look on her face, she wasn't sure whether to be amused or slightly weirded out by what she had saw.

"Does this mean we don't have to follow tradition either?"

Her eyes snapped to his form, "No. Mistletoe is there for a reason. I'll trap them together if I have to."

Dean couldn't answer; Castiel had taken a strong grip on his arm and had whirled him around to face the angel. He could see the power thrumming underneath the vessel's skin, the glimmer in his eyes which informed Dean Castiel was about to kiss him. He pressed a shaky hand to Cas' shoulder, feeling the material of the coat underneath his palm. Castiel looked even more excited, and leaned in fast.

Dean didn't squeak, but he pushed back against the angel, who looked confused, and even more hurt. He wasn't surprised, he'd practically refused the angel's advances.

"Take it slowly, Cas. I'm kinda not used to it all."

His crooked smile made Cas blush a little, and bow his head. He had gotten ahead of himself again. He apologised, a quiet murmur that Dean almost missed.

"Well come on, love-birds. We haven't got all day." Ellen had crossed her arms across her chest, and was leaning against the wall. She obviously wasn't leaving until she had seen them complete the tradition.

Dean turned back to Castiel, and nodded to him. Cas leant in, one hand gently cupping the side of Dean's face. The hunter felt his breathing increase; Castiel's had stopped. His heart beat against his ribcage in anticipation and another emotion he didn't understand, and felt the sparks from Cas' hand on his cheek.

Castiel kissed him slowly, not at all like their previous kiss. It was gentle but firm; Castiel was brushing his thumb against Dean's stubble, and Dean kissed him back. He wasn't sure how it would have gone if they had been allowed to meet before they were interrupted by Gabriel in the library; but it would no doubt have been passionate and rough. He liked this though, it was sweet and gentle. Castiel was a firm pressure against him; Dean could feel the heat where they were so close to each other. Cas' other hand was still on his arm, gripping it with more force than necessary. He was being calm for Dean's sake, Dean realised.

Castiel parted first, lazily opening his eyes. Dean opened his own, peering into too-blue eyes, unsure what his expression looked like. He would have to think carefully now, lest he say something stupid.

He heard Ellen move and enter the living room, leaving them alone in the hallway. He still couldn't take his eyes off Castiel. He could see something moving behind Cas' eyes, and Dean wondered if he was seeing the angel underneath them, layers upon layers of barred emotions stirring through slowly; filtering when needed. Cas had a small smile on his face.

"I will speak to you later, Dean. You should wrap your presents." He indicated to the bags that had been left on the floor next to them, and when Dean looked up, he felt the wash of wings float over him as Castiel vanished from where he was standing.

Dean cursed under his breath, but knew that it wasn't Castiel running away. If anything, it should be Dean who should be doing the running.

Nevertheless, he grabbed the bags, forced the smile to leave his face, and slowly made his way to the master bedroom to prepare his gifts for everyone.

Sam was sat on the sofa, eyes drooping. It had been a long day, mainly because Alex was so active. He had strength, too, which Sam was unnerved about. Perhaps it was just a kid thing; Sam hadn't really been around children. Ever.

Gabriel was curled up by his side, head resting on his shoulder. He had an arm around Sam, pulling the pair of them together while Sam had an arm across Gabe's shoulders. A Christmas special was showing on the flat screen, and every now and again, Sam could feel Gabriel laughing into his shoulder. It felt good.

They had a few beers in front of them; Gabriel had received permission from Castiel to create an open fire in the usually closed fireplace, and it was roaring quietly in the background. Jo sat on Sam's right side, knees tucked into her chest, leaning against the arm-rest at the end of the sofa. She was laughing at the show too; a British program that may or may not have been a one-off special; but the tall, Scottish actor who worked well with the blissfully funny red-haired woman should really have been a proper series.

In between Sam and Jo were Dean and Castiel, lightly touching shoulders. Since their kiss earlier, they had been comfortable with each other, and Gabriel knew that it was almost the end of their story in his little box. Dean was holding a beer in an uncharacteristic manner; sleeves pulled over his hands to cradle the bottle; most likely protecting him from the coldness of it. Castiel, as usual, had no drink, but every now and again he would reach across to pick a few crisps from the snacks laid on the table. There was a box of half eaten chocolates, too, that Gabriel would no doubt be refilling when he thought no one was looking.

Up at the table, raucous and quiet in equal measure were Bobby, Ellen and Crowley; playing some sort of card game that Sam had no qualms about missing. There were a few beers on the table up there, too, but no one was drunk, not really. It was more of a merry thing; and surprisingly comfortable. Sam had missed this. He snuggled closer to Gabriel, who gave a snort but snuggled back nonetheless.

"Hey, you three; the Three Musketeers, why so anti-social?" Gabriel called, not bothering to look up from his place next to Sam. He gave a particularly loud laugh at the television, as did the other people on the sofa, and finally pulled himself away to glare at the table.

"Are you gonna join us, or what?"

Ellen shrugged her shoulders half-heartedly, placing her cards face down on the table so she could drink the mulled wine Castiel had graciously brought for her. "Why, when we're having so much fun up here?"

Her words were light and teasing, and Gabe poked a tongue out childishly.

"C'mon, I wanna tell you about some angels near the start of humanity."

Ellen laughed harshly, already decided, "Right when I was completely _owning_ everyone!"

Bobby grumbled into his drink while Crowley simply stared through her, grinning.

"It's a good thing this wasn't a deal."

She smiled back and the three froze the game, gathering their drinks to join the group on the sofa. It was a tight squeeze, but so worth it, in Sam's opinion.

Jo sat on the end closest to the door, Ellen right next to her. Then it was Castiel and Dean, pushed back to the 'L' in the sofa. Dean had done the intelligent thing and dropped the bowl on Cas' lap so they could eat without having to leave the sofa. Then it was Sam and Gabriel, who had moved so Gabe was practically sitting in his partner's lap. Bobby was sitting next to them, and Crowley was leaning against the old hunter, hands unsure of what to do with themselves. It was the first time Sam had seen Crowley look even remotely nervous. Okay, perhaps not nervous, but unsure.

Bobby answered by pulling one of his hands up angrily and clasping it against his own, bringing the hand down to nestle between them. It may not have been visible to Dean and Castiel, but it still assured their feelings for each other. Sam reckoned he was going to be seeing Crowley in his life for a lot more years to come.

"You guys know you're my family, right?" Sam said, completely cutting across Gabriel, who glared at Sam for being interrupted.

At the incredulous looks, or perhaps Sam was feeling bold, he continued, "I can trust you. All of you-" There was no missing the look in the demon's direction, "- And I would defend you in the same way you would defend me."

"Sam..." Dean began. He was quietened by Sam.

"I mean it. I would trust you guys around _Alex_, and I know if I was to die, you would all look after him."

"Well, he's a kid, ain't he?" Bobby said gruffly, but there was a hint of a smile.

"I just... Thank you. You guys mean the world to me."

"Enough with the chick-flick moments!" Dean barked. He looked slightly uncomfortable, and Gabriel swooped in to rescue him.

"So... Angels. Bloody stupid things, if you ask me."

Sam sat back, allowing the feeling of family to wash over him. This was his first Christmas with Alex; the whole family complete. From Jo's almost childish laughter to Crowley's polite smirk to Castiel's curiosity to Dean's loud mannerisms, Sam felt at home. He knew these people, and he trusted them completely.

* * *

><p><em>There are several scenes here I'd really love someone to draw. There's the one where the group are on the sofa, right at the end; Castiel and Dean's kiss beneath the mistletoe and Gabriel, Crowley and Balthazar being BAMFs against the other angels.<em>

_But thank you for reading; please leave a review! :)_


	9. Gift Horse

**Helping Hand**

**- Daianta**

I don't own Supernatural, okay? None of the characters are mine (With the exception of Alexis, but he's only a baby at the moment...). The plot is mine, but _really_, you can't exactly get copyright on a plot.

_Chapter nine! I'm so excited! This is probably shorter than the others..._

_I'm just letting you know that this was the chapter I wrote while undergoing all that stress. Be warned. I'm not entirely happy with it. Oh hell. I updated some things, and FF completely stopped working and I lost what I had edited._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Nine: Gift Horse<strong>

_Word Count: 8,053_

Dean was warm; he accounted it to the angel that was currently wrapped around him, snoring softly in his left ear. Dean had no qualms about being in the same bed as the angel; their kiss a few days prior had pretty much confirmed his feelings about Castiel. The only problem was telling him. Dean didn't have the courage to say the words to his best friend. He'd never really had to say to anyone that he wanted them to be together. Well, there was Cassie, but to be fair, their last goodbye had been pretty solid. Dean would never _willingly_ go back to Cassie; he'd gone to _Lisa_ instead when he lost his brother, even if it had been for a short time only.

He could feel the angel pressed up against him, one leg brushing against his own. They hadn't fallen asleep this way, and Dean had been confused when he'd woken up from a nightmare with an arm around Cas' waist and his lips touching his friend's neck. Promptly he'd rolled over, feeling as if he was taking advantage of the man.

Still... Dean felt _safe_ with Castiel; more so than he had been for a long time. Even working at the mechanic's place, Dean always carried a concealed weapon on him. He was just too paranoid about being attacked. He was still a hunter; and he still hunted, but since trying to 'fit into society' meant holding down a job and having work attachments, he was able to hunt and kill less, giving the supernatural a chance to fight back when his defences were down.

His skin prickled in a warm and pleasant way when Cas shifted against him, now pressing flush against the hunter's back. Fortunately he was restraining himself, Dean thought, for Cas' hand could be so much lower than it was now. He fought the urge to move his body so the angel's hand was indeed lower, and felt proud of himself. He _would_ restrain himself around Castiel.

Dean had almost forgotten; it was Christmas! His presents were wrapped and placed under the tree the evening before. They would have had gifts placed earlier; but Alexis was curious and was eager to rip the wrapping paper from the assortment of boxes under the wonky tree.

A glance at the clock informed him it was only seven in the morning; hence why it was still dark. Dean closed his eyes again, and was lulled back to sleep.

Something jumped on the bed, and heavily on him, and Dean growled in anger at the dead weight that was currently jumping on him. He opened his eyes to see Gabriel, a ball of shortness and excitement, alternating between jumping on him and pulling at the duvet covering him.

"Piss off, Gabriel!" He snarled, rolling over, trying to knock the archangel off him. Honestly; Dean had closed his eyes for two minutes and suddenly God's messenger was attacking him. His face was earnest, though, eyes twinkling.

"No can do, Dean-o! It's Christmas morning, and I've received orders to get the pair of you out of bed!"

Castiel rolled over and _glared_ daggers at his brother. "Leave."

His voice was groggy with sleep, laced with anger. If the rest of his body was sluggish, his mind was ready, eyes blazing with irritation.

"Nope." Gabriel replied flippantly, folding his arms. He was still sitting on Dean's legs.

"Can't you go and bother Crowley and Bobby? For Christ's sake, give us another hour or something."

A look akin to horror passed Gabriel's face, and Castiel cocked his head to the side.

"Brother?"

"I'd rather not, thank you very much. I like my skin where it is – on my body."

"Dude, what's your problem?" Dean asked, curious now.

"Crowley threatened to skin me if I woke him and Bobby up early this morning. To be fair, I don't want to wake the pair of them. I don't want to see..."

Dean groaned, "Dude, no. Don't."

"So I've been tasked with getting you knuckleheads outta bed!" He chirped, clapping his hands together. He still hadn't moved from Dean's legs, and he was getting irritated.

"If we decide to get up, will you get off my legs?"

Gabriel considered this in a sarcastic manner, with a finger pressed to his chin, "Perhaps. Sam's feeding Alex; if I go and help him will you get Ellen and Jo up?"

"Yeah. Fine. Whatever. Just _go_, Gabriel." Dean could feel sleep beginning to overtake him again; the nightmare he'd had last night seemed to drain his strength. Castiel placed a hand on his arm, however, and he found himself invigorated. _Blame the angel_, he thought.

Gabriel vanished, and Dean stared at the spot where he had previously been. An Archangel scared of a demon. The King of the Crossroads, no less. Well, Gabriel could obliterate Crowley with just a snap of his fingers, but he was probably more concerned about what he would see if he went up there. Dean shuddered; even he didn't want to see it.

Still, as Dean thought of Gabriel, he realised he was extra chirpy this morning. Probably not because it was Christmas, but probably because he'd broken Castiel's very firm sex ban, and that was cause for celebration.

Ew. He'd rather not think of his brother's sex life, thank you.

"You know Bobby will be okay, right?" Castiel said, to Dean's right. He spared him a glance.

"What?"

"Gabriel won't go up there, and you don't want to think about it. You're worried about what might have occurred between the two of them. Bobby can look after himself, and Crowley cares for him."

Dean snorted, "Yeah, sure."

Castiel sighed, "No, honestly, Dean. I saw it with my own eyes. Where I see your soul as this blinding light, I see Crowley's as red and gold. The red represents pain and what he is a part of, but the gold indicates a very strong feeling for another being."

"It could be his hell hounds." Dean said, but it lacked its usual bite. He was thinking.

What if Castiel was right; could Dean live with having a demon in his life? He thought of the demon Ruby, and how much she had fucked Sam up. But, Bobby wasn't drinking demon blood. Hell, Crowley would probably refuse him if Bobby asked.

But Crowley and Dean didn't see eye to eye; would that cause trouble? They'd argued enough already; the household seemed okay enough with it.

"Dean. You know who it is, stop acting like a child."

Dean gaped at Castiel; rolling onto his back now to stare at the ceiling.

"Hey Cas," Dean asked, moving onto his side to look at Castiel. He held his head up with a hand crooked at the elbow, the other resting on his side. Castiel looked at him, wary.

"Merry Christmas."

He was wearing a smile, for once, and Castiel reciprocated with his own, feeling glad that they were able to be this comfortable with each other.

"Merry Christmas Dean."

He pulled the hunter into a bone-crushing hug, sliding underneath the hunter so Dean was on top, almost pinning the angel with his weight. He looked down at Castiel, who had a faraway look on his face; as if he was remembering. Dean rested his head on Cas' shoulder, breathing in the scent of the man underneath him. He had made up his mind. The only problem was, Dean had realised that he hadn't lost his memory; he was trapped. He wanted to be free; to be in the real world again so he could tell Castiel how he really felt and they could have really hot man-sex and irritate the fuck out of Gabriel, who was, surprisingly, very protective of his younger sibling.

He stifled a laugh and rolled from Castiel's slack grip, sitting on the edge of the bed. He scrubbed his face with his hands, rubbing away the sleep and he glanced at the clock again. It was half ten, rather late for them all to be getting up, and stood slowly, pulling his arms above his head to feel the joints pop out of place. His back clicked too, as he twisted on the spot, and he padded over to the bathroom, even as Castiel pulled the bed sheets tighter around him. His eyes were glued to Dean's frame, and he felt a moment of swelling in his chest, but dampened it before it could grow a head and a mind of its own.

He showered quickly, relieved himself and brushed his teeth, hoping to whatever God was kind enough that this Christmas would go well. He wasn't sure how Castiel would take his gift to him, but hoped he would like it. Dean liked it.

He threw on some clothes as Castiel took his place in the bathroom, and was dressed by the time the angel emerged. Dean was smirking; Cas took forever in the shower. It was surprising. For someone blessed with intangible wings, getting them wet must be a nightmare.

If Castiel saw the smirk, he ignored it, and retreated back to the bathroom to get dressed, obviously preferring his privacy. Dean thought to himself, '_It's probably because Cas can't dress himself properly_.' However, he ignored the thought, thinking of it as unfair and unjust towards the angel.

He left the master bedroom and took the small stairs up to the loft, intent on waking Ellen and Jo. He knocked, feeling oddly out of place. Jo answered sleepily, right when Dean was about to walk away. Her hair was messy, her eyes were still half-closed and she simply looked like death.

"Good morning." He greeted chirpily, causing the blond to groan and run a hand through her hair.

"Dean, it's quarter to 11 on Christmas morning. Let me go back to sleep."

Dean grinned at the woman's sleepiness, but shook his head.

"Nope. I had Gabriel _jump_ on me to wake me up. If I don't get you up, he will, and you won't like that very much."

Jo rolled her eyes, turning back to look in the room. She stepped back inside and Dean stood in the doorway, watching. Jo hadn't really changed from the last time he saw her. Her blond hair was shoulder length, all over the place from sleep. She was in a pair of shorts and a baggy shirt which looked like it belonged to a man. It hung from her shoulder, and Dean wanted to push it back into place, to preserve her dignity.

Once, there may have been something between the pair of them, but he grew to control himself and she got over whatever crush she had on him. They were better off as friends anyway; they acted like siblings, and that wasn't a good frame of mind to have with relationships.

"Hey, Dean?"

He hummed in response, even as Jo pulled off her shorts in the bathroom to get dressed. Dean couldn't see her, but the door was open. They trusted each other enough

"You've been sleeping with Cas for _days_ now; how much do you remember?"

"Not much," He admitted, "Only the stuff I dreamt about a while ago."

"Huh."

She didn't sound confused, more along the lines of understanding.

"I think it will get better over time, you know?" Jo's voice was muffled, and Dean realised it was the shirt over her head that was causing it. She dressed quickly.

He wasn't surprised Ellen wasn't in here; she would be up playing Aunt to Alex and helping Sam. It was amazing how much stuff people had to do on Christmas morning.

"Yeah," He agreed, "I sure hope so. It's annoying not knowing everything." He could feel himself scowling, but found he didn't care.

It was quiet for a few minutes; the only sound was Jo's hairbrush untangling her hair, and the hum of the central heating system making the house warm. It was… Peaceful.

When Jo emerged, fresh-faced and clean, she had a small smile on her face.

"I hope you'll like the gift I got you, Dean." She winked at him and he moved aside to allow her through the doorway. She disappeared down the stairs, and he found himself shaking his head. Honestly. Even after all this time, he still didn't fully understand Jo Harvelle.

Dean looked at Bobby's closed door, wondering whether he should get them up or if they were already up. Gabriel hadn't said anything about getting the pair of them out of bed, but things needed doing, and Dean knew Ellen wanted them to all help prepare Christmas dinner.

He hesitated; a hand rising to rest against the wood. If the demon was in there, he would feel Dean's presence and either answer the door or kill him.

He knocked, gently at first until he grew confident. It was absolutely silent, and Dean was all ready to walk away and leave them to whatever they were doing – or not doing, he wasn't going to think about it.

However, before he could move to leave, the door opened. Crowley stood, leaning against the door frame, sorting out the cuff links on his shirt. Only a few buttons were done up, and he looked disgruntled at being disturbed while getting dressed.

"Can I help you?" He snapped, glaring at Dean with fiery malice.

"Is Bobby there?" Dean replied; he was not going to be intimidated by a demon, no matter how good his glare was.

"Maybe he is; what's it to you?"

"Well I was asked to get Ellen and Jo up, and since they are now, I thought I'd get you two up as well. I don't have to explain myself to you!" He griped, returning Crowley's glare.

The demon studied him for a moment, one hand pulling at the buttons on the sleeve of his pristine white shirt. He was contemplative, steel grey eyes staring into space.

"He's getting dressed. We'll be down in five."

He slammed the door, and Dean could hear murmurs behind the door. He was quite confused. He didn't expect the demon to actually co-operate with him. This was a surprise. At least he hadn't tried to attack Dean.

The hunter made his way downstairs, and into the living room. The laminate was cold on his feet, but the rest of the room was warm. Ellen, Jo and Gabriel were seated on the sofa, engaged in idle chit-chat until the remainder of the house were downstairs for Christmas celebrations. Sam was standing behind them, Alex on his hip, watching the television news with apparent disinterest. His child was being fed banana slices; Sam handed them to him gently but firmly, and ensured Alex ate what he was given.

"Hey, merry Christmas, Dean." He called.  
>Dean stepped over and embraced his brother, on the side opposite to where Alex was. Gabriel, sensing an opportunity, stood up from the sofa and over to the three of them; his family. Dean was handed Alex, and he pulled him close, whispering a greeting and burying his nose in Alex's hair.<p>

When he looked up, Gabriel had a hold of Sam's hair and had pulled him into a crushing kiss. Sam was responding by wrapping his arms around the shorter angel, almost looking ready to lift him up and do him against the wall. Dean grimaced, and looked down on Alex.

"You see that, Alex? Your parents, getting it on in a room full of people. Such class."

Alex giggled even though he didn't understand, and laughter filtered through from the sofa, even if Ellen and Jo wouldn't make eye contact with them. Gabriel merely flipped them the bird and continued to lock lips with Sam. Dean felt an eye twitch. He saw a tongue in the mass that was the angel and his human companion.

"Alright, break it up you two. You've got the whole day to freaking make googly-eyes at each other."

Sam forced himself away from the archangel, his face a lovely scarlet shade that made Dean snigger into his jacket. Of course, he wouldn't laugh in front of Sam; the man was slightly embarrassed about things like that when confronted with his brother. But when he wasn't looking, Dean would laugh at him. In a brotherly way, of course.

"But it's Christmas, Dean-o, and I'm allowed to get what I want."

Nevertheless, Gabriel released his boyfriend and swiped Alex from Dean's grip, "Come on, you! Let's get you finished."

Dean stifled a yawn and made his way over to the sofa, where he collapsed on it heavily. Jo moved to place her feet on his lap, arms crossed over her front as they scanned the news on Christmas morning. Usually, some type of demonic activity or supernatural phenomenon would be taking place. Christmas was a dangerous time of year, for everyone. He allowed her to rest on him for a short while, ready to throw her off when she wasn't expecting it as a joke, or tickle her feet.

He had been thinking. He loved the people around him so, so much. He hoped, when they opened the presents he had gotten them, that they would like them. He'd put effort into getting them, and so had Cas.

Speaking of the angel, where was Castiel?

Dean looked to his right in time to see the man appear in the doorway, a stack of wrapped presents perched precariously in his arms. He seemed okay with it, however, although Dean wasn't sure where the presents had come from. He'd watched Cas place his gifts under the tree, along with Dean's gifts.

Dean moved Jo's feet from his lap and stood, ambling over to help his friend with the pile he had in his hands. Castiel muttered an apology and stood taller.

"Is there anything we can do to help?"

He was looking at Ellen, who had obviously taken control of Christmas morning. Perhaps it was Castiel reading the minds of the people around him subtly.

"Yes. When Bobby and Crowley come down, we're going to prepare dinner. I've just put the turkey in the oven, so it will be cooked in time for dinner, which should be about four-ish." She bit her lip, "If we're lucky. Gabriel wanted to do Christmas this year without angel mojo, so we've got to actually pay attention to cooking times."

"Oh, just a reminder; Balthazar's coming for dinner, yeah?" Gabriel interjected from the dining room.

"Yes. I'll be sure to get an extra chair for him. How we will all fit around the table, I'll never know."

Castiel was eyeing the table critically, as if trying to tactically figure out a way to move the occupants around to squeeze as many people as possible. He knew that he shouldn't put Dean next to Crowley, and Sam should sit apart from Balthazar, but everyone else could sit where they wanted. He would sit one side of Dean, Sam on the other, next to Gabriel, and the rest of them could sit around them. Hopefully. Castiel was learning that his plans didn't always work out the way he wanted them to.

"Could you imagine if Sammy had more kids, or if Jo was to have any? We won't be able to get everyone here."

"Put them on a smaller table, or something. Adults in one place, children in another." Jo said, completely disregarding what Dean said about her having children. It wasn't important; he was only making a valid point. She wasn't really that great around kids, anyway.

"Yeah, as long as we're all together, it doesn't matter where people sit." Sam added, standing in between Gabriel and Dean. He had his arms crossed, and although his body was angled in Dean's direction, he was watching Gabriel with Alex.

Ellen looked at the clock on the wall, huffing to herself. If the blasted demon and his lover didn't get their asses downstairs now, there would be hell to pay. She opened her mouth, sucking in a lungful of air, ready to scream her head off until the two men came downstairs; sheepishly hanging their heads.  
>She didn't have to. Crowley materialised in the middle of the room, head held high. He was in a shirt, as usual, but was missing the blazer. He still looked too smart, though. Bobby followed him down the stairs, poking at the demon when he got into the room.<p>

"You could have just beamed me down too, you idjit."

"_Beam me down, Scotty._" Crowley misquoted. Bobby rolled his eyes.

"Now that you're here, boys," Ellen said, wearily getting to her feet, "I think we should prepare dinner."

"Are we not going to open presents yet?" Gabriel asked, sounding every inch like a child. Ellen shook her head.

"No, not yet. If Balthazar's coming over, I brought him a gift, and want him here to open it."

Gabriel looked at Ellen in confusion. So did Dean, Jo, Sam and even Castiel. The woman shrugged.

"What? All I brought him was a bottle of Jack."

"Well," Sam said, trying to bite back a smirk but failing to do so, "I guess Balthazar's a part of Team Free Will, then?"

"Huh. Seems that way," Dean said, shrugging his shoulders at his brother.

Sam and Dean had first met Balthazar when they were struggling with a case. Castiel had seemingly vanished from the face of the Earth, probably still on the lookout for God. Bobby was on holiday _again_, although Dean now thought that perhaps it was something else entirely.

They were struggling with their case, however, and getting nowhere. When Dean had called for Castiel for the umpteenth time, another person had appeared. He had introduced himself as Balthazar, friend of Castiel's. When questioned why they had never heard Castiel mention him, he had sheepishly replied that Cas assumed he was dead, and he was only helping the two hunters out of the goodness of his heart.

What had actually happened was he wanted to steal some of Sam's inventory, some of which Dean didn't even know existed. Sam had been blisteringly angry, but Castiel, suddenly appearing out of nowhere, had politely asked him to calm down. He'd exchanged sentences with the other angel, and Balthazar had forgiven himself. He and Sam didn't really ever get on after that initial meeting, even after the four of them went out for a beer after the Apocalypse was averted. Sure, Dean was friendly towards Balthazar, even if he was a douchey angel at times, but he found it was nice to have friends outside of his immediate family, even if Sam still was bitchy towards the blond angel.

* * *

><p>Bobby and Dean were peeling potatoes, passing them to Sam to cut into smaller pieces and add to a big pot to boil before putting them in the oven to roast. Next to him, Jo and Gabriel peeled, chopped or otherwise prepared the rest of the vegetables, adding them to their own pots ready to turn on when they needed to cook.<p>

Ellen was washing up whatever was left over from their drinks the night before, and Crowley and Castiel were drying them with white and blue chequered tea-towels. The whole affair seemed awfully domestic; considering there was a demon in their midst and Dean wasn't allowed to kill him. But Dean found that he didn't mind, not when he looked up from peeling to see Castiel and Crowley gently pushing each other out of the way with their elbows to grab the last parts of their meal the night before to dry up. Perhaps he really did like Castiel; maybe he _had _simply been too naïve to see the angel was in love with him. It seemed reasonable, when Dean looked at how much they'd been through together. That sort of stuff changed relationships for life. He and Castiel shared a profound bond, and Dean had been blind to it.

Ellen emptied the sink and moved aside as Gabriel came through to rinse the vegetables, and Bobby filled the pan of potatoes with cold water, leaving them on the hob until they needed to be par boiled.

Cas and Crowley retreated into the living room while the others washed their hands; Ellen began to play with Alex.

"Mom?" Jo called, moving into the living room, her voice changing pitch as she accentuated the fact she wanted her mom's attention. She perched herself on the edge of the glass dining table, "Are we gonna do the right thing on Christmas morning and open presents, or are we gonna worry over food?"

"I just want you all well-fed. God knows how you've all managed to live by yourselves." Ellen retaliated, although there was no bite to her words and she was grinning.

"I'm an amazing cook, Ellen, I'm saddened you would imply I'm unable to take care of a moose and a baby." Gabriel said, folding his arms in the kitchen. He rolled his eyes at Sam's indignant 'hey!' and poked his head around the corner.

"Anyone up for some gifts?"

He was acting like a child in a toyshop, acting up for the attention, but no one seemed to mind. To be fair, they were all pretty excited over the promise of presents, even if Bobby looked as if he wanted to poke someone's eyes out with a fork while Crowley smirked behind a hand in the living room.

"I think we should let Alex let rip first," Jo said, glaring at Gabriel, "Before the bigger children get too excited and pee themselves."

"Don't look at me!" Gabriel exclaimed, flapping his hands in front of him in a weird attempt to throw the heat off himself, "It was Sam who was up early this morning, all happy and ready to go."

The moose rolled brown eyes and threw the tea-towel he had used to dry his hands with at Gabriel, before heading over to the tree to pick out a selection of boxes wrapped in childish paper.

Once again, Dean found them all perched on the sofa, with Sam and Gabriel kneeling on the floor either side of Alex, helping him rip the paper from his presents. To be fair, he was only nine months old, but he seemed to understand that he would be getting new chew-toys, and pulled on the paper his parents directed at him.

Dean was calm, calmer than he had been given the stressful few weeks he had been handed on a silver platter. He couldn't believe Gabriel and Sam had created something so perfect, so innocent, given Sam's experiences with Lucifer, Hell and demon blood, plus Gabriel's Archangel business and how many people he had killed since the beginning of time. Perhaps the kid just couldn't be tainted. That was a nice thought, considering what his daddy did for a living.

But watching Alexis' face light up when he saw something bright and colourful was heart-warming. His hand found Castiel's, and they held on to each other for dear life, as Alex screeched and bit into his stuffed toys and picture books like there was no tomorrow.

Dean had gotten him a few teething toys, mainly because Sam had been moaning about how he couldn't get Alex to relax or sleep when the pains hurt him. He'd also gone overboard and brought toys, all manner of bright and colourful objects. And tough ones too, after seeing how easily the kid demolished his old ones.

Castiel had bought books for him to read when he was slightly older, as had Ellen and Jo collectively. Bobby brought clothes, because to be fair, he'd had no children of his own except Dean and Sam, but they hadn't exactly been infants. To Dean's eyes, Bobby seemed more than willing to play granddad to a child that wasn't related to him, but he remembered what he had said. _"Family don't end with blood." _He was the closest thing they had to a parent, and they would treat him as such.

Perhaps it was Crowley who had been most surprising. For a demon that had raised hell and had once tried to kill him; all the while being with a certain hunter, he had gotten Alex a gift. Dean didn't know if it was because of Bobby's influence or if, just perhaps, he had gotten himself tangled up in the ideals of Team Free Will. It was still nice though, even if the present was a dog toy laced with the demon's mojo. The dog barked and moved, rolled underneath Alex's touch and was damn near indestructible. If one wanted it to stop working, you would just tap it with an angelic touch, and re-start it in the same way.

The most beautiful gift for Alex was one he wouldn't appreciate until he was older. Gabriel had used his Grace to create a working model of the solar system, and other galaxies outside the Milky Way, all contained within a glass ball. You could move space around with a finger, pinch your fingers on the glass to zoom in or out like on an iPad; do just about anything. No doubt he would be getting top marks in astronomy.

He didn't see what Sam got for his son. Perhaps it was a private thing, maybe it was the house they were in now; Gabe had mentioned that it looked like a toyshop.

But now his eyes were rolling, tired out from the effort he had put in today and the attention around him. He was nestled in Sam's arms, a hand curled in a fist next to his cheek, nodding off contently. Ellen and Jo cooed, and Sam grinned before shifting the baby slightly.

"I'll put him upstairs for a nap. Gabe, do you wanna get everyone's presents out while I put him to bed?"

"Yeah I'll do that." He set himself to work separating everyone's gifts, putting them into small, neat, OCD-type piles, and thrusting them at people. It seemed so small under the tree, but separated out, they took up the whole floor. Gabriel's eyes were lit up at the small pile of presents he had received from people, the people that he deemed to be his family.

Even if he was screwing around with Dean's mind. Sometimes, Gabriel wanted to simply stop the illusion and wake up Dean's physical body, but seeing Castiel's puppy-sad eyes made him change his mind every damn time. There was a reason for this. Gabriel wasn't a trickster anymore. He couldn't change someone's life on a whim.

To be fair, Dean-o deserved it. He just simply didn't _understand_ Castiel; at all. They were made for each other; if even Crowley can see that, then the rest of the world had to.

The demon in question was sitting on the leather sofa, between Ellen and Bobby, eyeing the small pile of presents placed in front of him. Gabriel smiled. Crowley was like his partner in crime; both of them had reached an understanding of what Gabriel was doing to Dean. Unofficially, of course. Gabe would never actually tell the demon exactly what he was doing; he wasn't sure how many secrets Crowley could keep.

Sam came back downstairs, wan smile on his lips. Gabriel beamed, and kissed his lover's cheek when he sat down next to him. Gabe wanted to sit in his lap, but would no doubt receive a catty but kind-hearted comment about how they should acquire a room or something.

Sam pushed the final present – a hamper – to Bobby and Crowley's direction, after checking the tag to see it was for the pair of them.

"Go nuts!" Gabriel exclaimed, diving into his gifts with aplomb.

Dean opened his first present hesitantly. The tag stuck with sellotape had been signed by Gabriel somewhat flamboyantly, and he really didn't want to wonder what the Archangel had bought him. He was expecting a sex toy.

Imagine his surprise when he tore the wrapping off to find a glass decanter. It was made from differing pieces of coloured glass that blended together; a beautiful piece that winked at him when it hit the light.

Gabriel caught his eye and laughed, "When you fill it, it lasts three times as long as a normal decanter. Think of it as an enchanted container."

"Thanks, Gabriel," Dean said, unsure of how to express his thanks. He was glad that Gabriel had bought him such a thoughtful gift; a first for the angel.

He went back to his presents, unwilling to look at Gabriel's burning eyes again. The angel could read minds, and Dean had no desire to have his current thoughts read. They were private, and he was not one for chick-flick, 'thank you' moments.

He watched, absorbed, as Crowley opened an envelope marked to him in Sam's handwriting; Sam merely smirked and looked back at his own presents.

"Moose. You've bought me tickets to a whiskey tasting weekend. I don't mean to sound offended or anything, but I can go whenever I want to."

"Thought you should know that it's in Bora Bora." Sam replied off-handily, shrugging his shoulders. He had a wrapped package in his hand, rectangular in shape. His eyes were mischievous, though, the smirk still there.

"Oh."

"Oh." Sam repeated, and looked away again, back to his gift. Dean realised what the present was, even as his brother took the wrapping from it. It was a book.

"What?" He said, the moose turning the book over to stare at its back before looking at the front again.

"Oh God." Gabriel cursed, paling as he looked at the book in Sam's hand. He felt himself stiffen, roaming his eyes to find Castiel. The glare he gave was cold enough to freeze fire. Castiel merely shrugged his shoulders at it, even as Gabriel spoke again.

"That was not yours to give away."

Sam huffed, "Gabe, stop."

He opened the first page, sucking in a breath and running a finger across the words. He skipped a few pages, turning to one that seemed crammed with writing. There were notes along the edges of the page; scrawled in blue writing that looked like it had come clear out of the ocean before it suffered pollution.

Sam's eyes were drawn to one of the little notes, marked in the top right hand corner.

_Sam. Alexis. Carina. _

"What?" He questioned again, flipping between looking at the pristine words in Gabriel's hand and the angel's face.

"I dreamed. From the moment the universe was created, I dreamed about you. And Alex. And the daughter we will eventually have."

Gabriel didn't make eye contact with anyone, simply lowering his head and glaring at a jar Castiel had created for him; a perfect model of Heaven's landscape.

"I love it. Thank you, Cas. Thank you Gabriel. It means a lot to me."

Sam wiped his eyes before he could allow tears to fall. It was such a previous gift, straight from God's personal library. How Castiel had managed to find it, he would never know.

Gabriel smiled at Sam; never able to stay mad for long. He was concerned, however. Castiel was trapped in the box he had placed them all in; in the real world, Cas was busy on a job for Gabe and Dean was still 'sleeping.' Cas shouldn't have known the book existed, not in this world. He was slipping badly.

He ripped the wrapping paper of another gift, snorting out loud when he saw what Jo had bought for him; a set of karma sutra playing cards. He and the blond hunter had a bet on who could get the strangest gifts; he had gotten her a tap radio that changed colour.

Dean watched with something akin to glee as Castiel unwrapped his last present shyly. He'd purposely refrained from opening Dean's present first, presumably saving the best for last and the hunter appreciated that. Castiel and he had come so far, and still had so far to go. Dean was decided.

He found himself beaming when Castiel's eyes lit with surprise as well as happiness. Dean hadn't bought something expensive or overtly bright and diamond encrusted. It was a plain gold chain, dainty and feminine but strong at the same time, a letter hanging on a link in the centre with the initial 'D' shaped, gold with flecks of silver decoration. It was a unique gift; each design featured different forms of naturally occurring silver. Dean had tried hard to get something personalised, something unique that Cas would remember.

He watched as the angel took the necklace out of the box it was in, a deep, rich red; and held it in his hand, looking at it intently. Dean was about to open his mouth when Castiel unhooked the chain and attached it around his neck. His eyes were bright, happiness shone through them like a lighthouse illuminated the darkest fog. He didn't have to say anything, Dean could suddenly read him like an open book.

The world faded around him, until it was just Cas and himself. The angel turned around, hesitant almost, in his movements. He procured a thin, long box from next to him and slowly handed it to Dean, the light of his eyes fading again. Dean remembered that look, and what it stood for. Cas was worried? Confused? He seemed nervous.

The hunter took the box with something akin to worship; he handled it delicately as if it would crumble if he moved too quickly or touched too heavily. He heard Cas' breath hitch and the silence of the other occupants in the room.

At least they realised this moment was for the pair of them, alone.

Dean tugged the lid off the top of the box and stared.

Nestled in the centre, protected by blue satin, lay a feather. Dean noted it was a flight feather, used in aiding flight in birds. It controlled lift and thrust. It was asymmetrical; one side was wider than the other. The feather was grey, much like a pigeon, but whiter, pure. Along the edge of the wider part, on the left side, an iridescent sheen glinted in the light, throwing colours when Dean moved the box. A part of him wanted to touch it, to feel the vanes beneath his fingertips. He noted the feather had the faintest trace of pale stripes; much like sand cat cubs, who lose them when they mature. He remembered one time Castiel told them he was among the youngest of the angels. Maybe it was like that.

He overcame his mild fear of damaging the feather and touched it gently, along the rachis. He felt sparks shoot up his finger and his hand, and grinned.

"This is one of yours, isn't it?" He asked, finally looking up at the angel. Castiel was beaming. He nodded slowly, eyes intent on Dean's.

He wasn't supposed to be able to see an angel's feathers. Hell, he remembered when Castiel brought him back to Earth from Hell and had almost blown out his eardrums trying to talk to Dean. He touched it again; the tingling feeling was still there.

"Thank you. It... It means a lot to me."

He sat up in his knees and scooted forwards until he pulled Castiel into a crushing hug. Castiel trusted him enough to give the human a part of him. That sort of thing was not ignored.

Dean pulled away, arms still around Cas' shoulders. He was looking square at the angel, whose eyes were lazy with lust; a small smile playing on his lips. Dean could feel his own grin.

He watched Castiel part his lips gently, just a little, and Dean swallowed.

Then Jo sneezed, and whatever trance they were in was broken. Castiel sat back, cross-legged on the floor while Dean retreated back to his open pile of presents. He vaguely heard Jo apologise, but made no attempt to turn around. He could feel his face heat up. That would not do!

He made a show of ensuring everything was okay, and began to clear up the wrapping paper that had become strewn around. Dean stood, and made his way to the kitchen. He could feel someone follow him.

Thankfully, it was Castiel. Anyone else would ask questions.

"Thank you, Dean. I appreciate the gift."

"Yeah, well... I had to get something different for you. Thank you for the feather. I know we've had our ups and downs lately." His tone was apologetic, and Castiel tilted his head to the side.

"We are okay, though, aren't we?"

Dean nodded, suddenly unable to form words, "Yeah, Cas. We're good."

He leant over and kissed Castiel on the mouth.

* * *

><p>In the other room, Ellen, Sam and Gabriel were craning their ears to try and hear the conversation in the kitchen. Jo was starting to clear up the rubbish that had been left behind, stacking presents up to help clean up the place. Crowley was helping her, while Bobby was still staring at a book Sam had bought him. Its title was plainly, 'The Getty Apocalypse.' It was a thirteenth century book, showing the divine revelation through text and images, as well as other important events in Christianity. It was one book Bobby didn't have, and he shook his head at the boy's expert knowledge on what was and wasn't on his bookshelves. It must have been a pain to buy.<p>

"Hurry up with the black bags, will you?" Sam called, glancing up at the time. It said ten to two. They had been longer than expected. Balthazar, even though Sam hated him, would be at this house in approximately ten minutes, and the place had to be clean.

In the kitchen, Dean and Castiel unwound themselves from each other. Cas had his hands on Dean's shoulders, while Dean had one of his arms wrapped around the angel's waist, the other cupping his face. Cas let out a sigh of disappointment.

Dean could only smile, and turned away to find the bags in the cupboard underneath the sink. Sam had a fricking Archangel in there; he could easily click the rubbish away. No, Sam was into recycling, wasn't he? Sammy was too much of a health freak for his own good.

Soon, the place had been cleared and the gifts they had bought each other had been placed in their respective rooms. Alex would be waking from his nap soon, and the food, with a little guidance from Gabriel, would be finished. Balthazar had turned up, precisely at two, and had been surprised at Ellen's gift. He hadn't bought them anything, since he had no idea of their likes and dislikes, but no one particularly seemed to mind.

Dean was at the table now, with Balthazar and Castiel opposite him and Sam next to Dean. They were playing a card game while Ellen and Jo finished cooking and began to serve up the dinner. Gabriel and Bobby were entertaining Alex, Crowley was busy bringing drinks out from the cool garage into the steamy kitchen.

Their card game was interrupted by Jo, moving their discard pile out of the way to make room for the turkey that was absolutely huge. Dean's eyes bulged. Potatoes and vegetables were added next, in bowls of their own so they could simply help themselves. Condiments and extras were added; Crowley helped to bring in the plates and the cutlery.

Ellen brought in the high-chair that Gabriel had left in the hallway, and the toddler was added to it. It was a bit of a squeeze, but they managed to fit themselves around the glass-topped table.

Drinks were opened, conversations flowed, and they tucked into their food.

Jo was sat at the seat beside the window, facing the rest of the table. To her left sat Sam, and next to him was Dean, Castiel and Balthazar, squished. The table was obviously not big enough to accommodate all of them, but damn it they would fit. Opposite her was Bobby, and next to him, opposite Balthazar was the demon Crowley. Next to him was her mother, then Gabriel, and Alex in the baby seat on Jo's right hand side. The table was crowded, covered in food and plates and not much space for anything else, but it was cosy. It felt right. She caught her mom's eye and smiled.

Ellen was in a good mood. Sure, she hated Christmas because she was reminded of what she had lost, but sitting here she was also reminded of what she had gained. Her husband was dead, so was Bobby's wife, the Winchester's father and Gabriel, Castiel and Balthazar's father, God, was missing. Crowley too, had probably lost people he had loved or liked along the way, first as a human and as a demon. He had gained friends too. Although he and Dean seemed to struggle to get along, the demon was fairly easygoing with the others, her and Bobby especially. It was strange to see an angel and a demon get on as well as Gabriel and Crowley did, and she realised that Team Free Will, the name they had coined while fighting in the Apocalypse, had gained several members. Of whom held life-long membership cards.

Dean was so hungry. It felt good to eat something so well cooked, so anticipated. He noted that Gabriel had brought in crackers too, and had no doubt enchanted them to do something different.

"Anyone wanna break one with me?" The Archangel offered, glancing around the table. Sam rolled his eyes.

"Fine, but only because no one else trusts you."

Gabriel pouted, but was ignored as the giant took a hold of the other end of the cracker. He tugged at it with as much strength as he could, while Gabriel simply sat and smiled. The cracker didn't budge.

"What did you do to this?" Sam said suspiciously, glaring at the red cracker as if it personally offended him.

"Oh nothing, Sammy. You're just not trying hard enough."

Sam growled and pulled again; this time, he was rewarded with the cracker breaking. Inside was a light that pulsated colours.

"What the hell is that thing?" Dean asked, looking at it in confusion. His question was answered when the thing bounced from Sam's hand onto the table, then jumped into the air and exploded in a bang and a shower of sparks.

"Miniature fireworks," Gabriel grinned, looking over to see Alex's amused face.

"Okay. No more crackers for you," Ellen groaned, shooing away a wisp of smoke that headed her way.

* * *

><p>It was towards the end of their Christmas dinner that Balthazar posed a dangerous question to Gabriel and Sam.<p>

"What are you going to do when Alex gets older? Children can be so bad at keeping secrets."

"Well," Sam said, "We aren't going to tell Alex about Gabriel's angel powers until he's old enough to understand. We can get away with appearances for a few years, you know?"

"But we are not going to get him involved in hunting. No way. I want my kid to have a degree. I want him to be normal."

"He's not exactly normal though, is he?" Balthazar asked, looking at the human child picking at his food with interest.

Sam wiped Alex's face, "No, living with hunters, angels and demons is going to influence him, certainly," Crowley raised his head at the demon reference, "But we agreed that we would not push him into the life Dean and I were pushed into. If at like, twenty, he turns around and asks why he was sometimes left at uncle Dean's or at Bobby's as a kid we will tell him the reason. We won't push him into being a hunter."

"What if he wants to hunt at a young age?"

Sam and Gabriel share a look, "Then he will have an angel watching over him." Gabriel replies, regarding his child with a slow smile.

It seems that it is enough for their family unit, for they begin eating again and Balthazar thinks, for a moment, that perhaps his brother would be a damn good parent after all. With parents like these, and the extended family sitting around the table now, Alex is going to be the luckiest child in the world.

* * *

><p><em>Chapter's finished. Not entirely happy with it, but what can you do? I liked the ending, though. Sorry that it's late. I know it's not Christmas anymore.<em>

_Anyway, please leave a review, they make me so happy. 3_


	10. The Closer I Get

**Helping Hand**

**- Daianta**

I really wish I owned Supernatural, but I would ruin it with my ideas.

_This. Chapter 10 of 11. I can taste the end. This chapter is, in my opinion, a little on the short side, but does have a lot of man love. Here you go, it makes up for my hate for the previous chapter._

**Chapter Ten: The Closer I Get**

Word Count: 7,085

* * *

><p>28th December 2011<p>

**Three dead in suspicious warehouse blaze**

By Stella Leeds

Police chief Andy Rhoades is still baffled as to how three missing teenagers from Tacoma, Washington, ended up in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

"The fact is, these kids only went missing yesterday," The police chief tells Sioux Falls Evening Standard, "And how they ended up across America in a burnt out building is beyond me."

The blaze is believed to have started shortly after 4am, when local residents were woken to shouts and gunshots.

"It sounded like someone started a riot in the warehouse," said one local resident, who didn't want to be named, "Then there was a moment of silence, and the place went up in flames."

The teenagers were revealed to be Amelia Yates, 16; Jason Arons, 17; and Callum James, 16. The three did not know each other, yet how they ended up in the same warehouse together still remains a mystery. Mr. Rhoades, at a police inquiry, said "These children didn't deserve to die. We have no idea whether they were part of some cult or ritual that went wrong, or if they were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. The warehouse is under investigation until we understand what went on in there.

"We believe that they were murdered, on accounts that no gun was recovered from the initial investigation into the place. The reasons why, at this time, are not understood."

Startlingly, this is not the first time such incidents have taken place in Sioux Falls.

Three years ago, the body of a man known only as James M, was recovered from a lake in Family Park and was revealed to be from Bolivia. His family, not native English speakers, had informed Sioux Falls Evening Standard (SFES) that he had no reason to be in America, and had no enemies that would come after him.

He had unexplained burns to his skin that did not correlate with any acids or other chemicals, as well as nine bullet wounds to his chest, all of which were created before James died. Three of these went through his heart.

When asked whether these incidents are related, deputy chief Jesse Hudson refused to say. He did, however, tell SFES that, "We are not treating these incidents as related unless something similar in both cases turns up. We will be going over numerous deaths in the area to see if this is an unrelated incident. In the meantime, I ask the residents in Sioux Falls to remain vigilant, and to not go out at night by themselves. Until we understand what went on here, we don't know what we might be dealing with."

The families of the murdered teenagers were unavailable for comment.

* * *

><p>Dean put down the paper with an air of finality. Christmas always brought out the weird things. The three kids had been possessed by demons, he was sure of it. Dean didn't know why they had been possessed, but their proximity to where his home was settled was enough to convince him that he, or a hunter around here, had been the intended target. He wondered if Castiel or Gabriel had caught them early, at four in the morning. Demon powers were detectable to angels, and they could have destroyed them easily. Still, he had no idea of who these people were. To him, they were kids. It was sad that they had to die, but it was a proven fact that demons were more likely to kill children when they were possessed. Their bodies just weren't up to the strain.<p>

He was aware of the previous 'victim,' however. Bobby had been the one to kill him when he'd come too close to Bobby's hunting ground. He had tried to make it look like murder, the demon was alone, after all, but there were things that a well trained pathologist could see. And cover up. Dean rolled his eyes at the autopsy report at the bottom of the _Evening Standard_. The pathologist may not have been mentioned, but Dean knew who he was; an ex-hunter, out there helping hunters hide bodies and murders.

Honestly, hunting demons was the hardest and stupidest thing someone could do if they weren't prepared beyond weapons. One needed allies, friends. Ways to hide bodies or hide methods of killing. It was hard explaining to an 'uneducated' pathologist how normal bullets would not kill the demon inside of them.

Still, Christmas had been... Eventful. Tiring. He had a good time though. Balthazar hadn't caused any problems for Sam, the latter of whom had been very surprised. Crowley, too, had been kind. If it was anyone else, he would have assumed he was plotting something. But Crowley was grounded by the rules of Dean's hospitality. He had, albeit struggling, allowed the demon safety in the house by allowing him to stay.

Dean had been surprised by Castiel's present, but he had enjoyed it. It was special; he thought his present didn't match up to Cas'.

The voice at the back of his head said that he also enjoyed the kiss they shared out in the kitchen. He blushed, hiding it behind the newspaper, slapping his forehead with it as well.

Yeah, he was so in over his head.

He was seated – curled up – on the sofa in the living room, the heating on full blast to make the tall house warm. He had realised just how spaced out the houses in the area were; he could have rock music blaring and not disturb anyone. He could have blazing arguments and no one would hear a thing. It made him realise just how much he liked this house. It was a shame that he was trapped in this world.

Dean had come to realise he hadn't lost his memory; it seemed too far-fetched to make any sense. Sure, he was prone to accidents; his heart was proof of that. But this? This wasn't normal. Someone had trapped him in this make believe world. Somewhere he was sleeping, or being drained of his blood, and he was in a world where Cas loved him and he...

He couldn't bring himself to say it. He wanted to be back in reality so badly, where the real Castiel was, where they could be two halves conjoined. To hell with chick-flick moments, he was finished. Done.

He thought back to when he had first woken up in this little world, its sandbox structure and the change of seasons. Stupidly, he remembered the cold when he had first investigated, how he had ignored it due to fear and confusion. He had originally thought of the djinn and archangels, both beings who could trap him in something like this.

Gabriel was his first thought. But after he had received his Christmas present from him, he couldn't think of accusing Gabe. Someone didn't trap a human being in a different dimension and then buy him presents.

But he'd been trapped by a djinn before. He hadn't experienced the fleeting images of ethereal humans; the real world seeping in. Perhaps he was the only one; he could have been taken completely by surprise.

He spread himself out on the sofa, stretching, arms over his head and legs pointing towards the television. He didn't know what to do. He was alone in the house.

Sam and Gabriel had taken Alexis for a walk in the park, presumably to spend some family time alone, to think about the future. It was hard for them too. Would that mean in the real world Sammy and Gabriel were attempting to create a child? That would be awesome, actually. Sam deserved happiness, and he and Gabriel would be brilliant parents. The way they treated Alex now was enough proof.

Where were the others? Oh yeah, it took a moment for Dean to remember Ellen and Jo had left; they had to tend to their new bar built on the ashes of the former, like a phoenix risen from the flames. They hadn't wanted to go, but each had work to do. Ellen had told them they would be back for New Year, and Dean had welcomed them back for that event. Hopefully, they would all get drunk and watch the fireworks light up the night sky to imitate day.

Bobby was out researching at the library; he had received a call about a hunt and was out collecting information for the hunter. Dean thought Crowley had gone with him, and he wouldn't be surprised if he had been right. They seemed permanently joined at the hip. Not that Dean minded, not anymore. He had come to terms with it, forgiven the demon for any of his past transgressions. As long as Crowley didn't try to kill them again. He couldn't block the demons from attacking the Winchesters, no, some of them were still loyal to Lucifer and not the king of Hell. It was a risk they were willing to take.

However, it was a really strange grey area. They were hunters by nature; they killed the supernatural and saved lives. If one hunter was with a demon, what would that look like? What would it mean? Crowley was not simply some low levelled demon, he was the freaking king of Hell. Could he live with hunters killing his subordinates?

Dean laughed at the image of Crowley standing by himself in Hell all alone, looking around trying to find any demons but realising they had all been destroyed.

Dean finished his stretch and reached for the remote control. He had the house to himself for a few hours. Wait, there was Castiel upstairs.

He found himself thinking back to their kiss in the kitchen, and their kiss under the mistletoe. Were they a couple? Were they simply friends who care a lot about each other? No, Dean presumed it was the former. At least, that's what he wished for. He thought of the feather, nestled in the box still next to his bed. It is a gift more precious than anything Dean has ever owned before. He doesn't know what to do with it, he doesn't know how to pay back Castiel for such a gift.

Castiel had given Dean a part of him, and the human can only sit on the sofa and mull over it. Such a conundrum.

Still, he thought back. Cas had been there for him when they were trying desperately to stop the Apocalypse: Dean had helped him when he had been rendered human. There was always something between them, he had to admit. Even the look Sam sometimes gave them was enough.

Dean got to his feet when he heard someone on the landing, someone who had just come out of the library judging from where the footsteps originate from. He moved quickly, opening the door and heading into the hallway. His feet were warm against the cold of the tiles, he can feel his skin prickle almost uncomfortably, but he ignores all that.

Castiel is regal on the top of the stairs, a heavy book in his hands, bound in leather. He is absorbed in the tome, about to stride down the stairs. Dean doesn't care for the book. He is looking at Cas with something akin to hunger, and he watches as Castiel looks up at him and the angel's eyes dim with lust. Both know what is next.

Dean takes the stairs two at a time until he reaches the top, where Cas is waiting for him.

There is a moment of silence as they square each other up. Dean can see Castiel the angel, hidden in blue depths, at the edges of his vessel. He often wonders if he has fallen for the angel or the vessel he is using, but it is the angel that speaks. It is the angel that thinks and feels, and Dean knows his answer.

"Dean?" Cas questions, turning away from the human to place the book down on a series of shelves that have been erected by the doorway of their room. It is almost empty; a few empty glasses from drinks carried upstairs and in the library. There is a glass bowl filled with pot-pourri, an almost feminine touch but it adds colour to the neutral space.

Cas turns back, eyeing the human hunter. Dean is holding himself tall, broad shoulders tense with something. Castiel is not well versed in human stances, but he knows Dean as well as he knows himself. The man is moving, moving towards him and Castiel is allowing him into his personal space. It is going to be a repeat of the incident in the kitchen.

It is amazing how far they have come in a short space of time. He has finally got _his_ Dean back, as the hunter's lips fall onto his own.

Dean tastes of something unique, that can only be associated with him, and Castiel allows his eyes to close. He wraps an arm around Dean's waist, growling almost as he closes the gap between them. He feels Dean move them forwards, so Castiel's back is resting against the wall.

He can feel the heat between them.

It is Castiel who runs his tongue across Dean's lips; he usually waited for Dean to initiate that contact. He has not done it often, only with Dean, and feels inexperienced. But here, he knows Dean needs a little prodding.

The hunter's mouth parts invitingly for him, and he wastes no time in plundering that warm cavern with his tongue, tasting the barest hint of cinnamon from the cakes Ellen had made on Boxing Day that Dean had finished devouring earlier.

Cas is unsure who is making noises; he or Dean, but he doesn't wish for them to go away, he revels in them.

Dean is kissing him as if he has never been kissed before, and dear God, Cas curses, he doesn't want him to stop.

Cas can feel his knuckles turning white as he grips harder on Dean's shirt, one hand finding its way under clothes to feel the skin there. Dean moans, gliding his tongue against Cas' and the angel can feel the moan reverberate in his being. It is erotic and stimulating.

Dean pulls away, flushed, eyes glazed. His breathing is ragged, but he doesn't remove his hands from Cas' body.

He jerks his head in the direction of the bedroom; half drags Castiel blindly, who has not answered and is alight with desire. He follows Dean into their shared bedroom, closing the door behind him and locking it just to be sure.

* * *

><p>"Sam... Sammy! Oh my Father!" Gabriel exclaimed, jumping up from his seat to stand in the centre of the kitchen, his eyes fixed on a point out of reach. Sam likes to think that he's seeing something important, instead of the normally stupid things Gabriel spies on.<p>

"What?" Sam said, looking up from his paper. He has a bowl of a half-eaten fruit salad in front of him, spoon perched against the rim of the bowl.

"They're getting it on! Dean's finally made his move."

Gabriel turned to Sam, a wry smile.

"Don't ruin it for them," Sam warns, pointing an accusing finger at him, "I'll gut you if you do."

Gabriel waves a hand in his partner's direction.

"I would never do such a thing! Just know that it's almost over. When Dean falls asleep, he will wake back in this world."

* * *

><p>Once in the room, the atmosphere changes, and Castiel thinks he's blown his chances again. Dean is nervous, not used to such proximity with the angel in a sexual setting. Cas is quick to dampen his fears.<p>

"Don't worry, Dean. I will do nothing you don't want me to do."

He smiled at the hunter, who is perched on the edge of the bed, and kneeled down before him.

"Thanks, Cas." Dean's voice is hoarse from want, his grin asymmetrical and lopsided. Cas can't stop himself from pressing a hand to his lover's cheek, who reclines into it like a well practised dance. The trust is there between them, strong as ever. Castiel can wait, for God knows how long he has waited for Dean already. He would not force Dean into anything he wasn't ready for.

He leant up to press a chaste kiss to Dean's throat. He laid back on the bed to allow Cas more access. It was nice. It was better than he had expected. Dean had never allowed a man to do this to him; to get as close as Cas was. He was straight, he knew that. But then there was Cas and their profound bond, and how it transcended all boundaries and labels. In Dean's mind he was straight, but he made an exception for Cas. How could he not? Castiel was a being like light, he couldn't refuse him, even if he wanted to. Not that he did.

Dean rolled them over so he was on top, and rained kisses on Cas' body. He was gentle on the neck, nipping at the vein and leaving open mouthed kisses in his wake. He was sure to leave a mark on Cas' shoulder, at the junction of his neck and collarbone. To mark Castiel as his. Beneath him, Castiel was moaning, breathless, overcome with the feelings that made him love Dean. Just being with him was enough. To have him like this; hovering over him, smothering him with gentle and firm kisses... It was something else.

Castiel gasped aloud when Dean pressed himself to Cas' frame, feeling the hunter's erection over his own. His eyes were open, and he focused on Dean's eyes, the way his face lit up. This was good for him, too.

He breathed out Dean's name, hands coming to rest on his shoulders. He didn't know what to do with himself. Dean was ecstasy.

And then Dean had his hand on his zipper, and Castiel was not breathing. His blue eyes were fixated on Dean's hands as they undid the top button. Was Dean sure he wanted to do this; so soon?

His concentration was broken when he heard voices downstairs. Gabriel and Sam were back with Alex. Cas sighed, moving into a seating position. Dean didn't move from between his legs, he simply looked up at him with green eyes.

"Hey Cas. We've got all the time in the world. Don't worry."

Dean moved then, getting to his feet and removing the jacket he was wearing. Castiel looked confused, but his eyes widen in understanding when Dean crawls across the bed and pulls Castiel to him. They are cuddling. Castiel curls into the human's embrace as if he needed the heat. His head is resting on Dean's chest, listening to Dean's erratic heartbeat underneath his ear. His hand is splayed against his stomach, while Dean has an arm around him and the other hand hanging loosely by his side.

Dean moves it, caressing Castiel's hand and entwining their fingers together, resting them against his stomach again.

"You made me happy, you understand." Castiel says, hesitant. The room had been quiet for a few minutes, the silence comfortable. The voices downstairs had vanished again; evidentially they had forgotten something.

"Made?"

"I woke up one morning and you weren't the same. You ran away from everything; you regressed. I was lost without you. But I have you back, now."

"Well don't worry, Cas, I'm not planning on going anywhere." Dean says, but his words, although with meaning, feel empty.

He is trapped, and he wants to find a way out. He wants to find the real Castiel, to hold him like he and this Castiel are doing now.

"It took you long enough to work out your feelings," Cas whispers against Dean's shirt, "I was beginning to lose faith."

He raised his head to look at Dean, a lazy smile on his lips and his heart was filled to bursting.

"I love you, Dean."

Dean felt his blood heat, even as his heart stopped. He hadn't expected Cas to be so forward about that. Dean knew what it meant to hear it from an angel. It was a whisper that came from the soul; he'd observed it with Sam and Gabriel. To hear it from Castiel was different. It was on a personal level, and although Dean would probably never be able to say it, he meant it, and showed it through actions rather than words.

"I-"

Cas shook his head, "Don't worry. I don't want you to say it. I just wanted you to know how much you really mean to me."

Dean responded by rolling onto his side, moving Cas to face him. If they had been under the duvet, they would have been ready for sleep.

Dean kissed him softly this time, a lot different to their previous kiss. This one was sweet and mushy.

He remembered that he had undone Cas' button and slipped his hand across the angel's skin of his stomach, coming to rest just above the waistband of his jeans.

Cas looked at him. "Dean," He warned, giving the hunter a level look.

He only responded by pecking Cas on the mouth and closing the button up, his hand roving to sit on his hip.

Dean couldn't. This wasn't _his_ Cas, this was a fake one. As much as he wanted the pleasure between them, he could wait until he was back. Sure, there would be hell to pay when he found out who had trapped him in this glass jar, but for now he was contented.

Castiel rested his head beside Dean's chest, inhaling the hunter's scent and generally closing the distance between them as much as he could. The human was falling asleep, and Castiel could begin to feel himself drifting off.

With Dean, he was himself. Nothing else. He was simply the being Castiel. He appreciated that from Dean, the simplicity and the hope that generated from the man. Castiel sighed and snuggled closer to Dean, as he pulled the duvet over them to keep them warm.

Dean felt himself on the precipice of sleep. He let himself fall.

* * *

><p>Sleep was something Dean didn't get enough of. When people usually went to sleep, he and Sam would be awake hunting the things that went bump in the night. When it was sunlight hours, they would be doing research or discreet stakeouts or simply travelling. Sleep was low on the day's normal agenda.<p>

So this kind of sleep was nice. It was a sleep saved for the weekend.

Green eyes blinked, once, twice, and closed again. Then opened. Dean sighed, stretching his long body out like a cat. That sleep had been good. Taking naps in the day wasn't something he normally took advantage of, but having Cas next to him made him relax.

He turned over, expecting to see Castiel next to him. He wasn't.

Instead, Dean felt his head spin again, taking in the room around him. He was home.

His apartment – gods, he'd missed it. The messy room was laid out for him to see. The work clothes from yesterday merely dropped to the floor where he'd stripped; the chair in the corner piled with clean clothes that he had washed and left. The wardrobe with the slightly wonky door. Dean didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He was home, at least. He was free from the world that he had been trapped in. He was _home_.

There was a safety to home that nothing compared to. It was a belief that home was the safest place to be; no one could touch you.

He laid back down in bed – not remembering when exactly he had sat up – and covered his eyes with the heels of his hands, rubbing them hard enough to see blurs of colour behind closed lids.

He'd come to love Castiel. The angel of the Lord, proverbial stick-in-the-mud who had become more human the longer he had stayed with Dean and Sam. Who had died for them when the apocalypse had reached a head, and even then came back. He dragged Sam out of Hell, in a similar fashion to how he'd pulled out Dean; but with less marks on the giant's skin. Dean felt himself reach over and touch the mark, the hand print seared into his skin that would be with him until the day he died.

Christ. He really did love the bloody angel. It had hurt him to think that he'd been trapped with an alternate form, a form that was not true to the angel of Thursday.

He didn't know what to do. So he remained in bed, to simply think and clear his head.

* * *

><p>It was approaching noon when Sam looked at the clock, for the umpteenth time. To be honest, he'd lost count some time after twenty. His partner, currently stuffing his face with sweets, had mentioned that Dean's time in the Box, since they were capitalising the word now, was almost at an end. So Sam was stuck waiting until Gabriel revealed the very moment Dean was back in his own conscious, not trapped in a place Sam didn't even want to know about.<p>

Sam had wanted to peer inside the box, to see how he and Gabriel would look with a child, but Gabe had refused. The Archangel knew how their child would look; knew its gender, and hadn't wanted to spoil the surprise for Sammy.

Over the course of the morning Sam had been receiving updates; sometimes menial ones like when Gabriel had sidled close to him and mentioned how the three of them had gone to the park for some family time. How his face had been overtly warm when he softly informed Sam about their child's gifts from his extended family.

"It's over," Gabriel said suddenly, around a candy concoction in his mouth.

Sam looked up hurriedly, catching the amber eyes of his lover, "And...?"

"Dean is in love," Gabriel sang, with a strangely high pitch that was above his normal speech range. Almost as if he was making fun of Sam's elder brother. Sam knew better.

"But I'm worried," Gabriel added, toning down his voice and staring at the ground.

Sam stood and moved to where Gabriel was sitting, patting him on the shoulder, "Worried about what? Dean likes Cas; Cas was already in love with Dean. What's the problem?"

"I think Cassie knew. Castiel isn't stupid. I couldn't fool Crowley with the Box; he wormed his way in. I think Castiel did the same."

"But that can't be a bad thing, right? It means Cas could, I dunno, really admit his feelings while in there?"

Gabriel shook his head, and sighed when he felt the nearby presence of his younger brother. He was approaching rapidly.

"Well we're about to find out."

Sam looked up when he heard the flutter of wings, the change in pressure from the air moving to accommodate a sudden presence out of nowhere. Castiel was stood, glaring at the back of Gabriel's head with all the hate he could muster. His piercing gaze was legendary; Sam was almost intimidated by it once. But he had seen this angel unconscious, had seen him high (with some help from Gabriel, who allowed Sam to see what Dean had in the future) and had seen him on the edge of drunkenness. The intimidation would not work.

"Hey bro." Gabriel said plainly, knowing this was a confrontation he would rather not have at this hour of day.

"Gabriel. Sam. Congratulations on your pregnancy."

"Hey," Sam interjected suddenly, "How did you know about that?"

Castiel merely glanced over to Sam, blue eyes alight with something Sam had never seen before.

"I am an angel, Sam. And Gabriel here was a little sloppy with a game he was playing."

Gabriel got to his feet, turning around to face the little angel.

"And what game would that be?"

Castiel did not answer for a moment, and Sam saw him swell with anger. The air around the pair of angels seemed to crackle with an unseen force, and for a moment Sam thought they were going to physically come to blows. Castiel was never this angry.

"Locking Dean into an alternate dimension. Did you not think I wouldn't find out? I know when angels are making copies of my being."

"But you didn't have to take part, you know." Gabriel retorted, folding his arms when he saw how Castiel suddenly looked disarmed.

Cas couldn't answer that one. The world knew how attracted he was to one Dean Winchester, except the man himself. He couldn't bring himself to say he was thankful to Gabriel for creating that world, where Dean had finally come to the realisation that he liked the angel too.

"I got you there, bro. What you should do is go to him, admit your feelings for him _plainly_ this time, and thank me later."

"I do not forgive you for locking him there. He thought he was _trapped_, with no idea how to get out. You do not know how he felt."

"So how long did you know he was there? From the moment he first tried to talk to you, or was it later?" Sam said, finally involving himself in the conversation, completely cutting off Gabriel. The Archangel looked as if he would say something potentially aggravating, and Sam didn't have the time to get angel blood out of the carpet.

"If you must know, Gabriel, I knew since the incident in the library. When you had the fight with the Watcher and interrupted Dean and I."

"Woah, what were the pair of you doing in the library?" Sam said, waving a hand around to get someone's attention.

"They were about to kiss. I cock-blocked him."

"You could have potentially unravelled whatever was going on between us."

"But you're all fine now, aren't you? Saw you were getting pretty intimate in the bedroom. Popped downstairs briefly to check on you."

"I heard." Castiel said scathingly, but the malice in his eyes had faded, if only a little.

Sam watched as Cas seemed to shudder, a minute movement that would have been missed had Sam not been watching him curiously.

"Cas?"

"Dean is calling me. This is not over, Gabriel. I hope you enjoyed the book I gave to Sam."

He moved out of existence in a flap of wings, leaving a bemused Sam and a scowling Gabriel.

"What book? Gabriel? What book did he give to me?"

"It doesn't matter."

Gabriel popped another hard candy into his mouth, still scowling, and went back to reading whatever was in front of him. Sam merely looked on in confusion, and made a note to ask Castiel about it when they had time.

For now, he was content knowing his elder brother was finally going to be happy.

* * *

><p>Castiel appeared before Dean, looking a little pissed off but rather whole. Just how Dean had remembered him. Dean had looked at a calender as soon as he had remembered, to find it was June and not December. Things were falling back into place.<p>

Castiel was staring at Dean, the pair of them not talking to one another, and Dean was beginning to feel nervous. He wasn't even sure if Castiel would feel the same for him, or if someone, somewhere, was playing a mean trick on him.

Thankfully, it was the angel who spoke first.

"I'm sorry you were trapped in that world, Dean."

"Wait, you knew? You knew, and you didn't try to bust me out?" Dean was beginning to feel anger rise in his chest, until Castiel managed to dampen it with his next words. He couldn't believe that the angel knew, all along.

"I could not break you out, Dean. It was Gabriel who trapped you in the first place."

"That son of a bitch. I'll kill him." He swore, and moved to sit on the sofa in his living room. Even then, it didn't feel right. He had become used to the living room in his trapped world. That world, although different, wasn't that far from what he was living in now. Sam and Gabriel were together; he was pretty much the same person, Ellen and Jo were normal, and even Bobby and Crowley were the same as ever.

He would kill Gabriel, but at the same time thank him for all that he had done. The Archangel had opened his eyes, if only a little. He would be able to forgive Crowley for being a demon, since he had been able to make Bobby happy. He would be able to understand Castiel better; having fallen for him in the short space of time they had been together.

"I have to thank him, Dean. In a way. I was in the world as well, after a certain point."

Dean flushed scarlet. He hadn't anticipated Castiel being a part of it as well.

"You were involved?"

"No. At least, not originally. Gabriel was using a form of me without my permission. When I realised what it was for, I entered the alternate world and found... that. You, trapped without any idea of what was going on. Gabriel and Sam with a child."

"Wait, wait. What part were you involved with?"

"I became acquainted with the world a little while before the incident in the library. When you recounted your dreams to me, I was fully immersed in the world."

"Wait. We almost kissed then. You knew, and you didn't try to help me?"

Castiel flinched when he heard the despair in his friend's voice. He considered it an act of betrayal. He had known his friend was in there and had not tried to help him out in any way. He had not kindly informed Dean that Cas was involved, and was going to bust him out. Dean continued, "You could have accosted Gabriel, and got us out. Instead, you and I almost kiss. Oh God. We did kiss. The mistletoe..."

"And then in the bedroom. Did you not think for a moment that I wanted it, Dean?"

A moment of silence, given to Dean to allow him to register what the words meant. Castiel hadn't meant to simply throw the words between them, but he had learned that sometimes it was the easiest thing to do with Dean. Cas focused on Dean, back ramrod straight. He was dressed in the trench coat Dean was used to, still in the suit. He looked the same, visually. But inside, Dean knew something had changed between them. Perhaps there had always been something between them.

Well, besides their Profound Bond.

Castiel went out of his way to care for Dean; bringing him out of hell and then doing the same for his brother, all to make the hunter happy. Castiel, who became a human for a short while because he wanted to help Dean. Castiel, who, when hearing Dean was in a predicament, came to help.

The fact that Castiel hadn't stopped the alternate world because he wanted them to happen was something Dean was struggling to get his head around. Dean had wanted it too. But would admitting it be admitting weakness?

Castiel took a step forwards, faster than Dean was prepared for, and the hunter had his back against the wall. Castiel was invading his personal space, but he found he didn't mind. It was the opposite of the event in the hallway, that led to the bedroom. Castiel was ablaze, and Dean could feel himself catching fire too.

"Cas..." Dean began, but his voice was hoarse and he stopped himself before he was made a fool.

"How do you feel about me, Dean?"

The question threw Dean for a moment, and he searched Cas' eyes for a moment. Finding that he was giving nothing away, Dean had to answer him.

"I care for you. Cas, you're my friend. C'mon, we've been through too much to throw that friendship away, man."

"And?" Castiel was cool against him, almost flush; chests mere inches from each other. Dean could feel himself cowering, if just a little, against the sheer force of the angel. He was letting Dean know that he was not human; far from it, and to accept his faults meant accepting every part of him.

"And," Dean repeated, slowly, "How do you feel about me?"

"You know how." Came the stoic reply.

Dean found himself rolling his eyes, still trapped between the wall and the angel. Between a rock and a hard place, almost.

"I want to hear you say it." The human hissed, placing a hand to Cas' shoulder and moving him back an inch. The trench coat was familiar under his fingers, and he repressed the urge to keep touching it.

The pair of them knew their true feelings for each other, even if Dean had been duped by an Archangel in order to see it for himself. He had known for a while, perhaps longer than he was willing to think about, that Dean meant a lot to Castiel. He hadn't been entirely sure how far that care went.

He was sidetracked for a moment, wondering to himself how in all of Hell they had ended up here. Professing their attractions to one another in Dean's small living room, when each knew full well the true intent of this little rendezvous.

"You are my everything. When God first asked me to rescue you from hell, I had to admit I was sceptical. I did not think you were that important; after all, you were only a man in hell, condemned while saving his brother.

"And then I saw your soul. While my brothers fell around me, protecting you and I, I could only see you. You were light, in this place of infinite darkness. I put you back together, leaving you in the coffin Sam had placed you, and watched as you emerged, like a butterfly out of a cocoon."

"Thanks, Cas." Dean said with an asymmetrical smile, leaning back against the wall to lock away the information he had just heard.

"I never said I was finished," Cas said coolly, "I found out early on that I could not talk to you, so I managed to find a man who prayed for it. Then we butted heads. You did not trust me, I felt hurt by it. But over time, we came to understand each other. I was... Deeply hurt, when I realised you had been with Anna..."

"Hey Cas. It was in the past man."

Dean's hand moved of its own accord, slicing through the awkward gap between them and resting on Cas' hip. Dean couldn't bring himself to glance up at the angel, even as said angel was taking a step forwards again.

He could feel himself flush, the scarlet heating his face. The elder Winchester, although having kissed Castiel already, was not ready for this version. The real version. Although the Castiel he had kissed was the same as the one that stood before him, stark reality was seeping in. Was he going to turn away from this? No. But he had learned that sometimes you needed to be careful. Castiel was his safety blanket, a force that would not leave.

Dean realised why Castiel kept being brought back from death. Even God was playing matchmaker.

Castiel took a hold of Dean's other hand, bringing it to his chest.

"This beats for you, Dean."

The hunter couldn't contain himself anymore. Careful to keep his hand over Cas' heart, he moved the hand on the angel's hip and held the man to him, pressing cautious lips together.

Cas' arms snaked around Dean's waist, pulling them closer together. He felt Dean move his arm rather awkwardly from between their chests and instead used it to anchor himself to Cas' body.

Dean could feel the sparks spread over his body, like fire without the intense heat. It felt different, unique. He could feel the heat pooling in his stomach, like molten lead. He felt weightless, however, as if he could fly. He felt Cas grin against his mouth, and realised the angel was using his mojo on him. He didn't particularly mind.

The phone on the tiny wooden coffee table began to ring, and the two men let go of each other slowly. Castiel's eyes looked glazed, the barest hint of a contained smile at the corner of his mouth. Dean didn't think he looked any better.

"I'm not letting you go, Cas. Not now that I have you."

"I wouldn't be able to."

Cas' blue eyes were staring at Dean, in that same familiar way they always did. As if seeing his soul. Dean turned and picked up his phone before the call rung off, checking who it was before answering. It was Sam.

"Dude, we're coming over. We have some news."

"Alright man, see you in a moment."

Dean hung up the phone, strangely concerned by the sheer happiness in his younger brother's voice. He had no idea what his partner had done to his brother.

Although now, Dean was finding it hard to hate Gabriel now. He had brought him and Cas together, and that was something Dean appreciated. He knew he could be difficult to live with.

He glanced back at Cas, to find him leaning against the door, simply watching the human with lidded eyes.

"Cas?"

The angel smiled, beckoning him over. Dean did not refuse him and they met again, in a simple hug. Sometimes it was the hardest thing to do. But being here, with Cas, was the best thing Dean could do. Ever. No one was going to take the angel from him now that they were together, after all the crap they went through to get there.

The pair simply hugged, and would wait until Sam and Gabriel arrived.


	11. The Edge of Greatness

**Helping Hand**

**- Daianta**

I have no rights to Supernatural. Only my love.

_Oh God. The last chapter. I always do hate end chapters. _

This is also the last thing I'm writing for Supernatural for a while. I'll probably jot down a few one-shots, but probably won't post them. I'll probably work in cycles; I've got my Teen Wolf to finish writing and publish, then I'll finish my Avengers and return to Supernatural when I've seen the rest of season 7 and 8 when it comes out over here.

**Chapter Eleven: The Edge of Greatness**

_Word Count: 3,656_

* * *

><p>Sam was nervous. A nervousness that he hadn't felt in a long time, and that was saying something. He had Gabriel transport the pair of them over to Dean's house, where Gabriel decided it would be in their best interest to tell Bobby and Dean at the same time. A cursory look at Castiel had told him that he knew, and Sam knew that although Dean knew in the alternate timeline he, Sam, and Gabriel had a child, he had no idea they were trying for a child in the real world.<p>

He considered the dream world as a means of testing the waters; he had no idea how Dean had originally reacted to the thought of Sam having a kid, but he supposed Dean would love him no matter what. Dean worked well with children.

Dean had looked between Gabriel and Sam in confusion; they had come over to tell him something and instead decided to wait, wanting to tell Bobby at the same time.

He thought that perhaps it was something important. He remembered Sam's words while they were in The Box: how he wanted to marry Gabriel. Perhaps they were finally deciding to go through with it. Dean didn't have a problem with that, not anymore. Sure, when his younger sibling got with the angel who had killed him over and over again, torturing Sam in the process, Dean had been shocked. Rather angry. But he'd come to appreciate that the two were made for each other.

Especially after seeing how they lived together while he was trapped in the other world. Sam had been happy, Gabriel had always been smiling. They both cared for their child, and Dean wanted to see that day after day after day. He wanted to see his brother happy; and damn he looked ecstatic all the time.

Dean was pacing by the time Gabriel returned with Sam, having left again for something they had forgotten, and they made for the car. He wasn't agitated or nervous, like Sam obviously was, but Dean was curious. He could hold his tongue if need be, and it must have been important if they wanted to wait until they arrived at Bobby's to announce it. Dean was almost certain by now they were engaged. The nerves were probably a cast-off from when Dean and Gabriel had fought in the beginning. Sure, Dean could hold a grudge (Sam was sure Dean was secretly a woman) but really? Dean and Gabriel had learned to get along.

Sam hoped.

He was in the backseat, next to Gabriel, for once relishing the front seat to Castiel. He couldn't help himself. In the few minutes he had spent with his brother, he and the angel had been in almost constant contact. It was kinda cute. During their attempt to stop the Apocalypse, Sam had silently rooted for the pair of them, seeing how they interacted. Call it brother's intuition; he damn knew before Dean did that he had the hots for the rebellious angel of the Lord.

Their journey was short, punctuated with Gabriel's seemingly random chatter and incessant questions from Dean on the nature of the announcement. Dean found himself wishing for the answer soon, lest he explode from the secrecy of it all like a child sat before his Christmas presents and unable to open them.

The door to Bobby's place was unlocked already, pulled to but not closed. Obviously, Bobby knew they were coming but allowed them to haul themselves in. Sam found it a comforting reminder that Bobby trusted them, with everything that went on between them.

He half expected to see Crowley sat at the table through the window with a drink and a condescending smirk; Gabriel had hinted that he already knew. Sam hoped Crowley hadn't spoiled the surprise; but that would take a lot of explaining about Gabe's antics and Sam didn't need the headache right now. When all was said and done, at the end of the day he and Gabe were expecting a child and that was all that mattered.

What happened between Dean and Castiel was up to them; he knew that Dean would rather pull Bobby to one side and calmly explain he was the second brother to start a relationship with an angel. Bobby would raise an eyebrow and pat him on the shoulder and probably explain that, "Well, we'd all seen it coming."

Dean cut the engine, sparing a long glance at Cas which caused Gabriel to moan and roll his eyes.

"Jesus, I thought you two actually being together would stop all this eye-fucking business, not actually make it worse."

He pushed open the door and got to his feet, stretching. His vessel felt small and trapped in the back of the Impala, confining his wings to splay against the roof of the vehicle. He felt Castiel's wings brush his once, a friendly reminder that they were indeed brothers and Castiel forgave him for locking Dean in another world. Hey – he should be thankful. Locking Dean in a box did the trick and made him realise his own feelings.

"Shut it, Gabriel." Dean growled, but it had no real menace to it. He hauled himself out of the car as Cas and Sam got out at the same time, tapping a hand against the black metal of the Impala in a loving fashion.

Dean practically jumped up the stairs to the house, eager to learn what Sam and Gabriel wished to tell them. Castiel was at his side, a hand brushing against his as a display of comfort, of friendship and of (perhaps) love. Dean smiled.

The interior of the house was cool and quiet, empty of life. Dean thought that Bobby would have been in the study but he was wrong; when the old hunter appeared, he was moving from the panic room.

"I see you idjits finally decided to turn up."

"Sorry. Dean doesn't like flying so we had to drive over," Sam replied, ducking his head when Dean turned to look at him accusingly.

"Yeah, don't even attempt to see it from my point of view." Dean rolled his eyes, but he was joking, hiding the grin that wanted to show itself. Life with Sam as his brother was definitely interesting.

"So what were you going to tell us?" Bobby said, interrupting Sam before he had a chance to reply to his older brother's challenge.

"Ah, yeah. Well, Gabe and I have been together for a while now, and we've been doing some planning, talking to some people. We're having a child together."

The room was silent for a fraction of a second before Dean crossed the room and pulled his brother into a fierce hug.

He'd seen them in the Box; he knew how well the pair of them would work with a child. Alex – if the kid they were having was a boy – was an absolute treasure, and Dean was suddenly eager for the next nine months to roll past so he could meet the little man himself, the real Alex.

Gabriel would no doubt have used his angelic mojo to peer into the future and see what his child (or children if they wanted more) would be like in the future.

"I'm proud of you, Sammy."

Somehow, Dean always knew it would be his brother that would settle down first. First with Jessica, then seeing how he bloomed with Gabriel.

Castiel offered his congratulations to his brother, and to Sam.

"Well, I guess it's congratulations. Beer?" Bobby said, making for the kitchen before he'd even got an answer.

Gabriel looked up at Sam and smiled. It was the start of the rest of their life together, and it was going to be perfect.

* * *

><p>"He's absolutely wonderful," Sam whispered, holding the baby in his arms with a sense of fragility; like his hands were going to break him.<p>

The baby was looking up at Sam in understanding, blearily blinking at the world. He had a tuft of dark hair on his head, blue eyes wide.

"Alexis." Sam said without hesitation. "Alexis Jacob Winchester."

He felt tears fall from his eyes as he cradled his son close, on the verge of sobbing with happiness. The baby tugged at his heart, filling him with joy.

Over the last nine months, there had been trepidation and confusion; he was unsure if he was allowed to have a child, with the stuff he had done in the past. The demon blood. Hunting monsters. Happiness didn't usually befall him, and it took him a moment to realise that everything was going to be okay; that he had an angel on his shoulder who wanted the same happiness.

Gabriel stood next to him, a hand on his back. He had tears in his eyes too. This was his family, and he would go to the ends of the earth to defend them.

They had taken Alex home from the hospital in the evening, the surrogate Louise had wished them luck and remained in the ward for another night with her new boyfriend.

The rest of their family were waiting for them when they returned. They took a cab, because Alex was perhaps a little too young for Angel Air.

Dean had held him first, admitting love for him at first sight. He was so tiny! Dean couldn't believe a baby could be so damn beautiful. But it was his brother's child, so perhaps he was a little biased.

Castiel held Alex next, more unsure than Dean. The hunter had helped Cas, supporting him. They too looked like a happy family, and Gabriel wouldn't be surprised to hear in the future if they adopted a child or two.

Balthazar had popped in to hold his nephew, bouncing the child in his arms with the grace of an angel; like he'd been doing that for forever. Gabriel remembered Balthazar as a child, when Castiel had been brought home. Balthazar had held him in the same way he was holding Alex.

Bobby was last. Crowley didn't trust himself to hold a baby, not until he was slightly older, and had simply sat next to Bobby when Alex was handed to him.

"I'm proud of you," Bobby said to Sam, and to Gabriel, looking between them and the baby, "You're going to be good parents."

"We're considering you his grandfather," Gabriel replied, smiling at Sam.

Bobby smiled, looking at the baby. Crowley raised a hand to wipe the tear at the corner of Bobby's eye away, not needing to speak. The old hunter merely leaned into the demon's side in response.

* * *

><p>Alex was five when Sam started feeling broody again. Gabriel had taken the time to refer to Sam as a girl for having girl feelings, but inside he was rejoicing. He wanted another child to round off their family too.<p>

Their only trouble was looking for another surrogate. Sam had trawled the internet for weeks, meeting women but not feeling satisfied.

In the end, Jo agreed to carry their baby for them. Ellen was especially proud of her daughter, and even though Sam had been worried, he too came round to the idea.

And Carina Mary Winchester was born on the sixteenth of June, to the smiling faces of her extended family.

* * *

><p>Summer was beating down on Gabriel and Sam as they set up for the party. It was Alex's sixth birthday, and a family celebration was in order. Carina was inside sleeping, and Alex was more of a hindrance than a helper.<p>

Eventually, everything was complete. Beers were chilled in a bucket of ice under the table, there was food placed on the countertop in the kitchen. Alex had some of his friends around as well, and a bouncy castle had been set up. No doubt the adults would be on it later in the evening, when they'd had a few drinks.

Ellen and Jo were the first to arrive. Ellen had taken a beer and helped make sure everything was absolutely ready while Jo went to see Carina. She had every right; technically, she was her daughter.

Many of the children arrived after, and Sam had ensured Gabriel hide everything out of the ordinary. All symbols that led to the occult were in the master bedroom, hidden from the prying eyes of children and their parents alike.

Sam had done most of the talking to the parents of the other children, as Gabriel was abrasive and likely to drop some sort of bombshell when he allowed his mouth to run away with him. He and Sam had made a few friends at the school gates, and although they weren't shallow friends, they were not as close as they were to some other hunters. The fact was, the parents of Alex's friends were normal, and that was exactly what Sam wanted. Normality.

Dean and Cas arrived together, of course, six years not breaking them apart in the slightest. They acted as they normally did. They would go out hunting occasionally; they would go to Bobby's for drinks and a catch up. They would argue and misunderstand each other like they normally did. But at the end of the day, no matter what, they would fall into bed together.

Dean had bought his nephew a remote controlled car for his birthday, to further encourage the boy's love of cars. All boys loved cars at the age of six. It was racing red, a white stripe down the bonnet and over the roof acting as racing stripes. Flashes of fire adorned the sides. Alex had placed it next to his other presents, ready to open when his granddad Bobby had arrived with the funny demon Crowley. Alex liked him. When his parents and the others wouldn't give him any candy, Crowley would secretly hand him one with a wicked grin and a finger on his lips in silence.

Long ago Alex had learned of his dad's true nature, and of the powers of those around him. He didn't fully understand, but angels and demons were looking after him, and he had no need to be afraid.

After Bobby had arrived – without Crowley, which was a shock, because Alex was sure they were always together – he had opened his presents, his friends sitting cross legged on the floor around him. His dad and daddy sat on two hard plastic chairs, propping themselves up with elbows, grinning the whole way through opening his presents. Carina, his younger sister, was asleep against Jo, while Aunty Ellen, Bobby, Cas and Dean were sat around the table watching with interest. Balthazar, his dad's brother, had turned up too and was sitting on the edge of the patio next to the table with a beer. He had given Alex a wrapped present with a smile and a cheeky wink.

Alex unwrapped his first present to find he had a remote controlled car, obviously from Dean. He checked for batteries, catching his uncle's eye with a grin and putting it to one side. No doubt when the presents were finished he and the others would want to play with it, and even though his dad could fix anything, he didn't want it broken before he'd had a decent go on it.

Alex's friends had gotten him sweets, all kind of sugary products. He could imagine daddy's face when he got hyper and started running around the house; his angelic dad would join in and leave Sam exasperated. There was also a meccano set from Jordan and a Darth Vader torch from Eric.

Ellen and Jo had brought him picture books, some of which had colouring pages. He got up from where he had been sitting to hug the pair of them, careful to not wake Carina. Bobby had got him some clothes, as he was rapidly growing out of his own. Balthazar had bought him some sort of bug catching kit – it had a magnified bug box and tweezers and a book on creepy-crawlies. Insects, for a six year old, were the best thing in the world. He was looking forwards to dragging his dads into the garden to hunt for bugs.

After that, he and his friends ate food and bounced around on the bouncy castle that had been provided for them.  
>The adults stuck to adult conversation.<p>

"So where's Crowley today then?" Ellen asked Bobby, turning in her seat to face him, "You two didn't have an argument, did you?"

Bobby rolled his eyes aggressively, "What do we look like? Teenage girls? No, I don't know where the idjit has gone. He said he was coming, but I have no idea when that was."

"Was he working or something?" Sam said, interjecting the conversation with his own input.

A shrug of the shoulders was all response the hunter gave, and Sam furrowed his brows. It wasn't like Crowley to simply vanish from the face of the earth; since he had moved in with Bobby he had been the picture of domesticity – he was always letting Bobby know where he was via text message (which Bobby hated) or popping in to explain the latest deal and what time he'd be home for dinner.

"D'you want us to search for him?" Gabriel asked, pointing between himself and Castiel. The angels were notoriously good demon searchers; the years being around Crowley had given them critical knowledge, a tracker of sorts, on where Crowley was at all times. Even now, Gabriel could feel he was somewhere east of here.

Dean watched the exchange between the group, silent for once. Six years had been a long time, but he wouldn't have traded it for the world. He and Castiel were damn happy, the longest he had been since Sam went to hell and before that. Even though he still hunted – in place of Sam who had packed it in all together to be a moose mother to Alex and Carina – he had a new-found happiness in it, because Cas was constantly by his side.

He had found, being in the box and all, that learning of Bobby's relationships hadn't affected him. If he hadn't been in there, he would have probably called him out for being with a demon of all things, and how dangerous it was. He had learnt, through watching the pair interact, that Bobby was the man in the relationship, and while he was still verbally aggressive and sarcastic, he had mellowed a little. The demon had changed him for the better, and while he and Dean sometimes still argued, he appreciated Crowley being there for Bobby whenever he needed him.

In the end, Crowley turned up of his own free will, before either Gabriel or Castiel left to search for him. Alex had missed him, and had given the demon a hug that had left Crowley beaming with pride. He'd watched this kid take his first steps and speak his first words.

In his hand was a box, suspiciously like a cat carrier, with a blanket thrown over it. He was holding it by the handle provided, careful to stop it from moving when Alex came for hugs.

Dean watched, confused, as the box was placed on the floor. Surely he wouldn't have got the boy a cat?

His suspicions were proven false when, instead of a kitten mewling, it was the yap of a puppy. Sam groaned in his seat, covering his face with his hand, while Gabriel seemed to explode from his seat and quickly head towards the carrier. Alex wasn't the only one excited about a puppy, then.

Alex brought the thing out of his cage as Crowley ambled over, placing a chaste kiss to the top of Bobby's head and sitting in Gabriel's vacated chair.

"I take it you're late because of the damn dog you've just brought." Bobby said, folding his arms and glaring at the demon, who simply shrugged.

"Had some business to take care of, love. I thought Alex could appreciate having one, since his sister's too young to run around and he can't always have friends 'round."

"Well it was kind of you," Ellen replied, smirking.

Crowley threw back his head and laughed, "See? Someone understands!"

"Your kind of kindness is normally at someone else's expense," Balthazar joked, "Did you kill someone and take their dog?"

"How is it you always see through my plans?" Crowley replied, jokingly.

Dean couldn't help grinning as the exchange between the group continued, while Sam took a waking Carina from Jo and headed over to where Gabriel was holding the puppy for the other children to pet. It was a Jack Russell pup, dazed from the attention but lapping it up the best he could.

He watched Gabriel and Sam share a tender kiss, Carina at Sam's shoulder and Alex next to them with the puppy. Ellen whistled for them, and they collectively turned, while she took a photo of them, surrounded by children in various stages of getting on or off the bouncy castle.

Gabriel rolled his eyes, but nonetheless jumped onto the castle, Alex handing the puppy to Sam and joining his dad. Sam seemed to juggle the pair for a moment, then found a happy medium and trudged over, sitting on the floor next to Balthazar, who took the puppy an examined it, as if he was a veterinarian assessing an abandoned dog.

They were a solid family unit, Dean noted, and was proud of them. He was proud of all of those who were sat around the table. His family, not just an extended family, but a true family. Even Balthazar, who could be a dick at times, but had a decent heart and loved his brothers dearly.

He laughed when Jo shared a joke, and Castiel's hand found his under the table.

He looked at the angel, mouthing _I love you._

Castiel smiled shyly and mouthed them back. _I love you too_.

_Fin._

* * *

><p>Total word count: 68,657 words.<p>

I've been through so much with you, the reader, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to share this fic with you. Thank you to those who reviewed; thank you to those who were there for me when I lost my step-dad. It means a lot to me.


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